It’s not a big stretch to call the Golden State Warriors the team of the decade. They combine the team play of San Antonio Spurs with the defensive awareness of the Miami Heat – both teams who could challenge the Warriors for the title. From the perspective of how the game of basketball is played today, the team from the Bay Area is perfect: they have a defender who can guard all five positions, a pure shooter who can score from as far as the logo, a perfect scorer who can move without the ball, and a lanky, big player who can play all five positions. If they keep their Big Four together and avoid injuries, they will dominate the NBA for years to come. You probably know how good they are anyway, so let’s just stop here.
Yes, the Warriors are perfect but they’re also human, which makes them prone to mistakes. They commit them on rare occasions, yet anytime they do, they’re laughed at exceptionally hard precisely because of their perceived perfection. An exception to that rule are two guys: Zaza Pachulia and JaVale McGee. For this list they’re off the hook – filling up a list with their shameful images would be too easy, and as Zaza once proudly proclaimed: “nothing is easy.” It’s guys like Steph, Klay, Draymond, KD and Iggy that need to prove that they’re human. For that reason expect every one of them to appear on this list, maybe more than once. Here are 15 photographs that the Warriors players would prefer to keep to themselves.
15. Steph Is Into Feet
Probably too much info, but Ayesha Curry revealed that her husband prefers photos of her feet rather than actual photos of her body whenever he’s in the mood for that kind of stuff. OK, whatever. This wouldn’t turn into a big thing if Mia Khalifa didn’t decide to use that fetish to turn the spotlight on her. She’s a sports reporter now so in order to get some credibility (what else could be her motivation?) she sent Steph a picture of her feet. While it was supposed to be funny, the joke turned on her and she was universally criticized. People not only mocked her former occupation, but more notably, the shape of her feet. As for the Curry family, it would probably be better if the stuff that turns them on stayed inside their house.
14. A Burner Account That Burns
KD is one of the best players in the NBA, but who knew that he’s also one of the pettiest? It was thought that once he got that championship Durant would just enjoy himself. Instead he seems too concerned with the way he was perceived by OKC fans – as a traitor who left his team to chase individual glory – and decided to attack some of his critics on Twitter. He wanted to do it through burner accounts, posing as somebody else, an anonymous user. The problem? He forgot to switch from his official one and wrote about himself in the third person. A millionaire, MVP, Finals MVP and championship trophy holder cares about what people think of him. In a way this is a good thing… right?
13. What Are Those?!
Steph might’ve called them “fire,” but they’re anything but. His 2016 Under Armour signature shoes disappointed on so many levels that it’s impossible to not mention them on this list. When the shoes dropped they were priced at $119.99, which is ridiculous considering that they look like something your dad puts on when he has to run errands at K-mart. The Internet already made fun of these when they came out so there’s no point in doing that. Curry revealed that his hobby is to take care of his garage. It’s likely that he tidies the place up while wearing these shoes. I get it, he’s a relatable guy who plays basketball exceptionally well, but shoes must be fly in order to be marketable.
12. Awkward Klay Thompson Is Awkward
You probably know that something’s wrong with you when your own teammates make fun of you. Especially teammates who had their own shameful issues just a couple of days earlier – more on that in a minute. During the 2016 Olympics Draymond and Klay had a shot at redemption by participating in the competition. Clearly they made the most of it and led team US to Olympic glory. Both however had some picture-related problems. When it comes to Klay, it’s just another awkward moment in his career. That picture is SUPER weak, that much is true. Klay sports a double chin and resembles his doppelgänger, Fat Klay, more than himself. And what’s up with the eyes? Was the photo shoot so long that he couldn’t keep them open long enough for the shot?
11. The NBA Is Rigged
Yes, this is not so much a picture as much as it is a screen grab, yet it’s of such magnitude that it must make this list. The 2016 NBA Finals were tough on the Warriors. In game six Steph earned the first ejection of his NBA career after throwing his mouthguard into the crowd (spoiler alert: it’s not the only time his passion for throwing it will appear on this list). Things got so bad that Ayesha Curry, Steph’s wife, got on Twitter and accused the NBA of being rigged. She deleted that Tweet and explained that she wrote it because she had a hard night. I think that we all felt that the NBA was rigged to some extent (Knicks getting the first pick in the 1985 draft, Lakers beating the Kings in 2002) but few people have the audacity to actually accuse our beloved league publicly.
10. I Have No Idea What I’m Doing
This game will go down in history as the worst three-point individual performances in league history. February 27, 2017. Remember that date. Two-time MVP Stephen Curry faced off against one of the worst franchises in recent memory, the Sixers. The Process. The laughing stock of the league. A team that took tanking to a whole new level. The Warriors won 119-108, despite Kevin Durant being inactive. This meant that someone would have his shots. Steph Curry jumped onto the opportunity, but things didn’t go as planned. Trigger-happy, the Warriors point guard attempted eleven shots from far and missed all of them. 0-11. Wow. Talk about humanizing your heroes. The Warriors still won the game and eventually the title, so that one performance probably didn’t hurt that. Although it looks like Durant may have been poking fun at Curry in this photo.
9. The 360
Pardon the quality of the image, it’s just a screenshot from the video of Klay attempting to perform a 360 dunk in front of a crowd of fans in China. During his tour Klay performed other strange things, like smoking from a pipe, but none topped that missed dunk. He might be one of the best shooters and scorers in the league; a guy who can score 60 points during a game and shoot from long range on any given night, yet he’s no dunker. His in-game dunks are not spectacular so it’s even more questionable as to why he would attempt such an impressive play. At least it made for a funny moment for the rest of us, maybe not him!
8. The Worst Playoff Performance In Two Decades
During the 2016 Western Conference Finals against the Thunder the Warriors were in huge trouble. The athletic and fresh team from OKC was too much for them to handle. In Game 3 Draymond was simply hopeless. He earned 6 points (1 of 9), 4 rebounds, 4 turnovers, 3 assists and a steal. Nothing to write home about, right? What’s worse, his team was much worse when one of the best defenders in the league was on the court. Draymond earned a +/- of -43. The Warriors made it to the Finals eventually. It’s a good thing Green no longer has to guard Kevin Durant – he would surely have to suffer through more games like that one.
7. Most Missed Shots In A NBA Playoff Game
Being mentioned in the same sentence with MJ is something to be proud of most of the time, however there are some exceptions to this. One of them was “experienced” by Kevin Durant, then a member of the Oklahoma City Thunder. During the 2016 Playoffs the Thunder almost made it to the Finals, but they blew a 3-1 lead over the Warriors. Before they got there though Kevin Durant put on the worst shooting performance in the NBA Playoffs ever for a player who attempted at least 30 shots. He went 7 for 33 and tied Michael Jordan for most missed shots in a post-season game. 26 missed shots. 21.2% success rate. Well, luckily he bounced back from that performance.
6. Practice Your Aim, Man
The Warriors had a rather rough start to this NBA season. The Cavaliers haven’t woken up until now and are lower in the Eastern Conference than they should be. The Warriors though proved that they’re true champions and are now tied for the best record in their Conference with 8 wins and 3 losses. During a game with the Grizzlies they were still in a bit of a slump – if you can call losing two games that. Frustrated that nothing was going their way after a call, Steph Curry threw his mouthguard into referee Scott Wall. The best thing was that he missed! He later said that he wasn’t aiming at the ref, because if he was, he would definitely hit the man with the whistle. The NBA didn’t buy that and Curry had to pay a $50,000 fine. He has to put a leash on that mouthguard!
5. Defensive Player Of The Year
Being awarded with an official NBA award is a huge honour. The journalists and pundits see your hard work and award you for it with a nice trophy. While it’s a shame that they’re no longer given out before playoff games, as this made for some memorable performances a la Hakeem Olajuwon against the Spurs in the 1995 NBA playoffs, the gala is a chance for the players to showcase their fashion sense. Or in the case of Draymond Green, the lack thereof. He showed up at the gala wearing pirate-themed shoes, shorts and a seafoam-coloured jacket. That bow tie was also quite questionable. He may have won defensive player of the year, but he can’t defend wearing that ensemble!
4. The Block
There’s one picture from the 2016 NBA Finals that just stands out. It involves LeBron taking revenge on Andre Iguodala. The Golden State forward won the 2015 Finals MVP mostly for his ability to slow down James (if you can call holding a player to 36.6 points, 12.4 rebounds and 8.4 assists slowing him down). The 2016 Finals were a different story though, as LeBron finally had help (and some luck) and avenged his nemesis. This chase-down block was the biggest play of the Finals, which took place just two minutes before the end of the game. In a sense, that block gave (apart from all the other defensive stops) the Cavs their title. Well deserved, I must add. Although the Warriors would definitely prefer this never happened.
3. The Warriors And Drinking Just Don’t Get Along
Say what you want, but the Warriors are more often awkward than actually cool. Before the season Klay Thompson drank what seemed to be his first beer during an interview. He tried to look cool, but failed. Then, after celebrating the championship, KD tried to channel his inner Stone Cold Steve Austin and attempted to chug a whole can of beer. He failed as well, even more hilariously. Klay at least sipped his drink and probably finished it. Durant just spit everything out on the locker room floor. Don’t try to be someone else KD, do you. This goes for all of you kids reading this as well. Be yourself. Even while celebratin their championship, they all wore eye protection to keep champagne out of their eyes. Safe, definitely, but not the coolest thing you can do.
2. Worst. Three. Ever.
Nick Young was unpredictable for most of his career. The proper word would probably be “terrible,” but it wasn’t all downs. If it was, he wouldn’t still be in the league. Swaggy P can create an awesome opportunity just to mess it all up in the end. Take into consideration his improbable relationship with rap star Iggy Azalea, on whom he cheated with a random girl he met at a club. It seems that life constantly gives Young lemons, yet he’s never able to make lemonade. This picture of a wasted opportunity is the best example of this ongoing situation in his life. Young thinks he made a three point shot. Easy points right? Nope! The ball flies off the basket. Big up to Swaggy P for laughing at himself, but still, he should’ve made that shot and seen it through before celebrating.
1. Draymond’s “Private” Life
This is the most embarrassing thing you can ever do. Apart from being just plain dumb and distasteful even when it reaches just one addressee, sending out a picture of your “parts” is very risky. Green was smart enough to not include his face in the picture, but he still admitted that it was his. This all happened when on Snapchat he pressed the wrong button and a message that was supposed to be private reached the whole world. The one that enjoyed his mistake the most was DeMarcus Cousins, Green’s teammate on the US team. He made fun of Draymond during the team workout, pretending to try to make a picture the way Green did.
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