Michael Jordan is the greatest NBA player ever. Let’s just get that out of the way. If you disagree with me, I have a few choice words for you, but those words aren’t appropriate to share in this public article. Moving on…
When Michael Jordan retired, he quickly went into NBA business, and blew up his Michael Jordan brand. The result was an inflation of wealth from close to half of billion to what is now well over a billion dollars. What comes with his ongoing success, is tons of hatred. And in today’s world, a world centered on social media, no form of hate, has had more effect or been more popular, than the meme.
The meme is usually overkill. I’ve been in numerous Facebook conversations, where a meme disrupts the flow of dialogue. It’s usually used by a “troll,” or someone who feels backed into a corner. He or she uses the meme in that moment to guard against an obvious feeling of insecurity or vulnerability.
But damn…sometimes memes are incredibly funny. They are so witty, even me, a partial meme-hater, can’t help but chuckle and give props to the person who made it. There are some really funny people in the world.
Michael Jordan’s crying meme has blown up. It’s viral everywhere on the social-sphere, causing incredible laughter. This hate makes sense. Again, Jordan has been good and excelled at everything he does. And for some of us, that just isn’t cool. So, instead of working harder, we tear him down.
Here are 16 savage AF Michael Jordan crying memes.
16. Shoe Meme
This meme is sooooo true. I am bowed over in laughter. No offense, but I’ve never understood the obsession folks have with buying the same Jordan shoes over and over and over again. Not only are his shoes grossly overpriced, but they’re meant for young people who still believe they can do what MJ did. What are we 12? At some point us grownups – those who grew up idolizing MJ – need to come back down to reality, and accept that we won’t ever be MJ. No the shoes don’t make us run faster, jump higher or play basketball better. Those days on the blacktop are done. I remember truly believing that sort of fairy tale-ish thing, but now I’m a father of three with bills to pay. And no way in hell my money is going to corny basketball shoes.
15. Riley Jordan Meme
Riley Curry, Steph Curry’s adorable daughter (to some annoying), has never feared being funny in front of the camera. In fact often times, she’s been the star of a post game interview, leaving the too-cool and quiet Steph, as her spectator. The Currys soak up the attention. It adds to their brand as a family, and promotes Riley for a future she has yet to know.
There was a time during last year’s playoffs where Steph got a little emotional following a a game. So why not make fun of MJ’s teary noggin, alongside Steph’s moment of pain? Hence, the Riley Jordan meme. An infamous joke jabbing at two stars and their moment of true vulnerability. Only Michael Jordan could find his way into a meme like this.
14. Still Pregnant Meme
This meme is messed up on so many levels, but yet it’s so damn funny, too. It’s a quiet, yet witty jab at Mike’s long philandering. In the mid-2000s, when him and longtime wife, Juanita, were divorcing, Juanita documented Mike’s cheating ways. The number of women he’d cheated on her with, was astounding, and the result: a settlement of $168-million for the mother of his first two children.
It also pokes at April 1st, otherwise known as April Fools. Essentially the meme is a joke at a joke. It makes fun of those who live in a surreal state of mind, hoping and praying the impact of their behavior is all just a bad dream, a joke. They wake up on April 2nd, and reality sets in. It’s messed up to say this, but true: it’d be funny to see my more invincible, playboyish friends, get shocked like this.
13. Kick a Man While He’s Down Meme
You ever heard the saying, “Don’t kick a man while he’s down”? Well this meme goes against that grain, and I hate to say it, but it’s funny. It essentially encourages Jordan hate to the max. It also reminds me of some of my friends, who chronically jab back and forth and have no filter, when it comes to friends going through something. Those friends often times put their feet in their mouths. But when they’re funny, they’re so damn funny…using humor to help a guy move on from a moment of over-sensitivity.
This was taken when Blair Walsh of the Minnesota Vikings missed a chip shot field goal in Minnesota’s wild card playoff loss to the Seattle Seahawks and Jordan’s face here summed up how every Vikings fan was feeling.
12. Jordan Drum Meme
The center of the drum during the 2016 Super Bowl: Michael Jordan crying. What else, right? This meme is ruthless, really. But it’s so damn funny, too. It adds to the dynamic the Panthers had after losing to the Broncos, one that saw their franchise face, Cam Newton, openly let a few tears out while the waning seconds were closing.
But there’s a secondary effect here, a funnier one. Michael Jordan has mocked modern NBA players for “the pound,” fist knocking fist. This meme goes right at him for his old timer sensibilities, and beats him in the weepy face for it. Either way you look at it, there’s something about seeing a funny MJ face on a drum about to be pounded really funny.
11. A Widdle Sensitive Meme
Oh isn’t he cute. Widdle Mike tucked in his bed looking at mean girl texts. Mean girls can be so hurtful, huh Widdle Mikey Mike? All he wants is a nap and an orange frappuccino and yet he wakes up to all the horrible things people say about his bald head. You know, he used to have hair. At least he had the balls to cut all his hair off unlike LeBron. Widdle Mikey Mike, I’m here for you. Let’s buy some greasy noodles and do girls things: paint our nails, and watch Sex and the City re-runs. I’ll even make cream puffs. And we can draw nasty pictures of all the mean girls. Hopefully he finds himself a nice girl one day.
10. It Hurts My Feelings To Be This Bad Meme
None of us liked it: MJ in a baseball uniform (unlike this meme, he played for the White Sox). Why? Because he was bad, really, really bad. He looked the part, but playing the part was a whole different thing.
In 1994, MJ played for Double-A White Sox affiliate, the Birmingham Barons. Over the course of that year, he hit .202 with 3 home runs, a mountain of strike outs and whopping, league-leading 11 errors in the outfield. His one star-ability, was stealing bases, as he stole 30, to finish top five that year, but it getting on base was the problem.
9. Jordan Rousey Meme
I mean, come on. This one is too damn good to pass on. The Jordan weepy face in a pink dress with cleavage. It’s perfect. Look at the wispy bangs falling down his wet cheeks. Not only does this image utterly mock Mike’s ugly cry face, but goes right after Rousey and her fall from grace. The former bad ass, turned punching bag, arrived on the Ellen Show after her first loss, with a look like a wounded doe.
It wasn’t the typical thing fans were used to seeing from Rousey, who long had been known as a brutish babe of a woman, with an ability to withstand wear and tear, and take a real beating. So, like the Riley Jordan meme, the author of this meme did us good, by turning it into a double joke.
8. Jordan Christie Meme
Chris Christie had a classic over emotional farewell speech, after losing his bid at a Republican nomination. At the announcement, he blessed the candidacy of Donald Trump. This, after Christie trashed Trump numerous times for lacking the necessary experience to run a country.
Insert, the Cry Baby Michael Jordan face on the hefty Christie, and you have one hell of an hilarious image. The meme is perfectly placed. It puns with Mike’s avoidance of politics, and places him on the body of a politician he probably wants nothing to do with. You can be rest assured we’ll eventually be seeing more memes of politicians slapped with the famed crying Jordan face. We already can’t wait for the 2020 election to see who the next victim could be.
7. Fallen From Grace Meme
The high flying MJ of the 90s was unstoppable. A force of irrevocable grandeur. He was the man who carried the city of Chicago for 14-years, a run that finished with six titles in six tries. There was nothing Michael Jordan could not do. He dominated. Everything from his infamous “I Want to Be Like Mike,” Gatorade commercials to his play on the court, the guy was a true wonder.
Now, that Mike is all but a distant dream. The young kids today only know him by his poor quality Youtube videos and this, the meme they all love, Mr. Cry Baby. It’s sad really, but ironically humorous. One side with the legend and the other, with the weak, overly sensitive babe. I guess there’s also the fact of him being the owner of the Hornets.
6. Cute Little Tiger Cub Meme
Is there not a better, more-mocking meme on the market, than this one of the legend? Not only is it the cute little fluffy cub on his knee, but the reality, that during his prime, fans called Michael Jordan “MJ” too. The long argument has been around who is the ultimate MJ. Well, clearly, from this meme, it’s the great pop star Michael Jackson, the man with the fourth most #1 hits in history. The moonlit sky casts a wonderful glow over the teary cheeks of Michael Jordan. We wonder if this is supposed to be some culmination of the two MJs who were icons in their heyday, or if it’s just simply another opportunity to insert a crying Jordan meme. Either way, we’re laughing.
5. Michael Lisa Meme
The Michael Lisa: A one-of-a-kind painting for the true art appreciators. Step back and you see the multi-dimensional aspects of cry face sparkling down the darkened cheeks. It’s a true sight to behold. No, really, the closer you come the more the piece opens up. It’s like a true flower of sensitivity. Can it really get any better? Maybe they should hang this up at the famous Art Institute of Chicago. Imagine a Ferris Bueller sequel where Ferris is staring deeply into this painting.
Honestly, the real Mona Lisa was incredibly unimpressive in person. It was this dull, small in size painting, with little to no stand-out qualities. I’d rather see the Michael Lisa. At least it gives me a laugh. Michael Lisa; all day, every day.
4. Pancake Meme
Now the meme is not only a fun way to poke fun at Mike. There is also the pancake. The Baby Face of MJ, a breakfast to be eaten. Look at the beautiful weepy eyes with the syrup dripping down like tears (haha). Honestly, if I saw this at a restaurant I’d order a steaming stack of these, and document the process one sticky tear at a time. Again, shouldn’t a Chicago restaurant be jumping all over this? Seems like it’d be a hot seller on the menu.
3. Fallen King Meme
It’s been nearly 20 years since Michael Jordan was at the top of his game. That year ended with a Bulls championship, and Michael hitting that infamous Game 6 winner, to sink the Jazz’s hope at a title. Since, he’s gone on to do some incredible things business wise. He’s still in the league as a majority owner of the Bobcats/Hornets franchise.
We all reminisce about Mike when he did incredible things on the court, and can’t help but stay there. Fortunately for us, though, we’ve had some hall of fame players, help mend the post-Mike era. One such name is the “King,” LeBron James, who is currently Mike’s only comparison and has been king in the league for arguably longer than MJ was.
2. Lakers Meme
When Dwight Howard and Steve Nash joined the Lake-Show the summer of 2012, fans had high hopes. It’d been three years since they won a title, and if you know anything about Lakers fans, three years is far too long. So, that summer the team went shopping and came back with two superstar future hall of famers, to team alongside Kobe Bryant and Pau Gasol. The result was disastrous. Dwight Howard didn’t get along with Bryant, resulting in his often times aloof behavior. Steve Nash got hurt. And the once bright and shining season turned sour and fractured. No face does the Lakers fans justice, like the cry baby MJ face. That’s what makes this meme so great. It nails how Lakers fans must have felt that entire year.
1. Fear the Beard Meme
Hands down the greatest Jordan meme EVER. Nothing is more savage than this genius meme with James Harden famous beard and MJ’s cry baby face woven into it. It’s like looking at a beautiful knitting, a work of art.
Can you imagine James Harden crossing you up, and all these individual cry baby faces weeping why you try to stay in front of him? You can’t? Well numerous NBA defenders can. James Harden’s cross over and ability to get to the hoop is one of the most electric things in all of basketball.
Good luck trying to shut him down. And good luck trying to shoot free throws with all these baby MJ’s sobbing while you follow through. That alone would make Harden unstoppable.
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