That twin set of beautifully round mounds of fatty flesh protruding from just below every woman’s shoulders. They come in every shape, size and color, and they’re enough to mesmerize a man for hours with even the slightest hint of cleavage or subtle jiggle.
Just the mention of breasts is enough to make every warm-blooded guy reading this sentence crack a knowing smirk and nod. You know it’s true, and you also know that even if you aren’t a so-called “boob guy,” you’re still a boob guy. We all are; it’s only natural.
Breasts are women’s magical set of dual-threat assets that can talk us into basically anything, make us drop bucket-loads of cash or even cause us to watch an otherwise mind-numbingly boring women’s sporting event with a spell-binding captivation driven solely by our internal carnal tendencies.
And let’s be brutally honest here: the bigger the better. Can I get an amen, fellas?
We’re all guilty of it. We have next to zero interest in the athletic capabilities of the women on this list, and we probably can’t even rattle off a single stat or accomplishment they’ve achieved in their respective sports, but you can be damn sure we’ve followed their Instagram accounts and figured out exactly which ones bare the most skin and whose seam-busting sweater puppies push the limits of their shirt buttons.
And now that you’re fully distracted, here’s a roundup of 15 female athletes men only watch because of their “twins” that’ll keep you occupied for a while.
15 15. Simona Halep
Let’s launch right into this thing with a bang. I present to you the always-cute 25-year-old Romanian tennis player, Simona Halep. In a word, Halep was blessed. Blessed not only with world-class talent on the court, but also with a massive rack that male spectators around the world literally drooled over.
You’ve probably watched her on TV or have seen one the countless mid-swing photos of her nearly bursting out of her shirt, but I doubt you ever knew her name until now. Unfortunately for Halep, she was probably a little bit too blessed. When she played, Halep had to secure her twins beneath several layers of tight support, eventually opting for a breast reduction to make her a little more comfortable while she played.
She went from a 34DD to a 34C, after which she climbed as far up to the No. 2 ranking in the world and is currently fifth as of this writing.
14 14. Paige Spiranac
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When she’s not dropping jaws as a rising star on the golf course, the blazingly hot Paige Spiranac is burning up the internet with sizzling photos showing off a body so fit women everywhere would kill to have it. She’s got all the right curves in all the right places, and isn’t afraid to let her “girls” out for some fresh air.
She isn’t playing full-time on any big tours just yet, but she has participated in some notable tournaments here and there, enough to gain a few actual golf fans rather than just Instagram followers. She’s also hosted several clinics and has partnered with companies like Topgolf and Callaway to help advance her game.
You may not follow her in the standings going forward, but you’ll tune in for her physical attributes alone. I guarantee it.
13 13. Allison Stokke
Hot damn, you guys. Allison Stokke is off-the-charts hot and is finally giving you a reason to watch women’s pole vaulting. She knows exactly how to mix just the right amount of sexuality and athleticism that we can still take her seriously as an athlete while also knowing she knows we know exactly how hot she really is.
After breaking several American records for high school pole vaulting, Stokke ran track and vaulted for UC Berkley in college. She missed out on qualifying for both the 2012 and 2016 Summer Olympics, so she’s not exactly a very high-ranking vaulter, but she’s got nearly 300,000 Instagram followers, and her YouTube videos have millions upon millions of views, so she’s actually one of the most valid entries on this list.
Nowadays, she does work as a fitness model for several different brands, so there will be plenty of opportunities appreciate two of the things that got her there in the first place.
12 12. Anastasia Ashley
I’ve got to be honest, I couldn’t really care less about pro surfing, and I don’t imagine I’d take much interest in it even if I were on the beach watching it live. But the story changes if it’s Anastasia Ashley who’s competing.
When a painfully hot 30-year-old pro surfer’s job is to look good filling out a bikini while frolicking around in the surf and occasionally riding a wave or two, give me a beach towel and a pair of board shorts, and I’ll become the biggest surfing fan on the beach. I’m sure you can see why.
Ashley is easily the hottest pro surfer in the world, but she’s got more than just looks. She won her first major title at just 16 and has won several other tournaments, including two National Scholastic Surfing Association championships and the Professional Surfing Tour of American title, as well.
11 11. Natalie Gulbis
Ever since she turned pro and joined the LPGA tour in 2002, we knew leggy beauty Natalie Gulbis was packing some heat beneath her tops. We got a nice little preview in her 2005 calendar featuring photos of her in a swimsuit and then again in an FHM spread soon after that, but we finally got the full-on view we were waiting for when she appeared in Sports Illustrated’s 2012 Swimsuit Issue wearing nothing but body paint and leaving very little to the imagination.
Though she’s perhaps just as famous as a sex symbol as she is a pro golfer, Gulbis has had some success on the links too. She’s won four pro tournaments and has played on three victorious U.S. Solheim Cup teams in 2005, 2007 and 2009.
10 10. Clair Bidez
It can be a little tough to get a good visual of what U.S. snowboarder and halfpipe specialist Clair Bidez brings to the table in the boob department with all that winter gear covering them up, but once you see her steamy spread in the 2010 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition, you’ll store that image away and bring it back up the next time you see her carving up a mountain.
She joined the U.S. Snowboarding team at just 16 and became the Halfpipe Junior World Champion just three years later. In her early 20s, she tucked her “twins” into her parka for a run at the 2010 Winter Olympics in Vancouver but fell just short of qualifying due to injury. You might not make a point to watch women’s snowboarding now, but the lovely Ms. Bidez might just change your mind.
9 9. Thaisa Menezes
Who doesn’t love women’s volleyball? It’s a bunch of athletic women lunging and diving around on a court in skimpy, skin-tight uniforms that perfectly accentuate the curves of their bodies. Of course, while it’s a spectacle in and of itself, the competition is a lot more likely to hold your attention when the women in those skimpy uniforms are physically gifted where it counts.
Well, Brazilian volleyballer Thaisa Menezes fits that bill to a T. With Lebanese heritage, she’s a classically beautiful tall drink of water with a perfect figure, complete with surgically enhanced breasts that will make you weak in the knees when she’s dressed to complete.
If you’re like me, you probably watched her spike volleys at the Rio Olympics last summer and immediately decided Brazil had to be your next vacation destination. Can’t blame you there.
8 8. Tamira Paszek
The second tennis entry on our list features the very well-endowed Austria-born Tamira Paszek. Standing at 5-foot-5 and weighing 130 pounds, Paszek’s ample breasts far exceed normal proportions for someone her size, but apparently she doesn’t mind. And neither do we.
Unlikely as it is, it almost seems that at any moment, one of her strong forehand strokes might be the one that finally stretches her top past its limit, revealing the two main reasons she has any male followers at all.
Not that she’s that bad at tennis – she’s been ranked as high as 26th in the world – but she’s got less than a .500 career record and you don’t see her winning a whole lot of major tournaments. So basically, without her “twins,” not many people would know who she is.
7 7. Maggie Vessey
I’m assuming you don’t wake up extra early on Saturday mornings so that you can watch women’s track and field competitions, but I’ll bet that if you caught a glimpse of American middle-distance track star Maggie Vessey while flipping through the channels, you’d set the remote down and leave it there for a while.
Vessey is 35 years old but hasn’t lost a step on her younger competition and neither has her physique. The blonde-haired stunner has won several races in her illustrious career, and she even ran the second leg of the American-record-setting 4X800 for the U.S. women’s team at the 2015 IAAF World Championships.
Vessey also dabbles in fashion and typically wears her custom-made kits that conveniently show off all of her best features when she competes at the track.
6 6. Ronda Rousey
Be real here, fellas. The only reason you started watching women’s MMA was Ronda Rousey. And the only reasons you started watching Ronda Rousey were secured conspicuously beneath her sports bras when she stepped into the octagon.
Sure, later on you were captivated by her ability to KO an opponent in a matter of seconds, but she brought raw sex appeal to a sport that otherwise was lacking in that area, thanks in large part to her double-barreled assets upstairs.
We finally got a true eyeful when she posed in nothing but body paint in Sports Illustrated’s 2016 Swimsuit Issue, but she has also made other appearances in magazines like Maxim and FHM.
There’s no word yet on if Rousey will return to the octagon following her loss to Amanda Nunes last December, but let’s hope for our sake she does.
5 5. Blair O’Neal
Taking a page out of Paige Spirinac’s book, blonde bombshell Blair O’Neal is admittedly more model than pro golfer – not that you’re all that worried about it. O’Neal is perhaps most notable for her runner-up finish on Golf Channel’s reality show Big Break Prince Edward Island and her later victory on Big Break Dominican Republic.
There’s little doubt, her stunning beauty has carried her career farther than it would have gone otherwise, but hey, more power to her. After finally giving up on golfing full-time in 2015, she now does a lot of work with Golf Channel and is a socialite within the industry.
O’Neal was recently named one of Sports Illustrated’s “hottest 50 athletes of all time,” as well as one of the “Hottest Golfers” by Golf Digest, and there is absolutely no argument from me on either one of those.
4 4. Serena Williams
For all her many accolades, world No. 1 rankings, Olympic gold medals, and 72 career titles, it’s still 35-year-old American tennis phenom Serena Williams’ intriguing physical assets that men across the world tune in for.
She’s got one of the most athletic female bodies in any sport, and she oozes sex appeal with her full bust, toned body and guttural – almost erotic – grunts when she serves a 100 mph ball over the net.
Her physical appearance triggers our most animalistic tendencies, even if she might not make our top five, 10 or even 20 most desirable female athletes. There’s just something about the way she moves and jiggles with every step and swing of the racquet. I doubt you even know which tournament she’ll be playing in next, but you’ll definitely watch it if it’s on.
3 3. Eva Marie
Eva Marie sure can rock a pair of fake boobs, can’t she? What she’s lacking in in-ring capabilities – and she really is terrible – she more than makes up for in cup size, and then some.
She’s had breast implants since she was 20, so she knew all along what she wanted to do and who her target audience was going to be. And like all good men, we tune in to watch her prance around in her skimpy get-ups and red hair and ogle at her exquisitely curvy figure like a bunch of middle school boys who happened upon a discarded Playboy.
She may not be long for the WWE, but whatever she does and wherever she goes next, she’ll still have an audience, thanks that beautiful pair.
2 2. Sydney Leroux
The U.S. Women’s soccer team has always pumped out a steady supply of pure sex appeal, and ladies like Sydney Leroux are exactly why we tune in to watch. Oh, right, and to see the match, of course.
Leroux, a highly successful and decorated footballer who holds dual citizenship in both Canada and the U.S., played at UCLA in college before turning pro in 2012. She has also played for the U.S. team in the 2012 Olympics, the FIFA Women’s World Cup and the Algarve Cup among others.
Along the way, her busty figure has been noticed by both fans and the media alike. Fittingly, she appeared in ESPN Magazine’s “The Body Issue” in 2013, posing semi-nude on one of its eight covers and was also featured on ESPN’s cover alongside her U.S. teammates Abby Wambach and Alex Morgan in 2015.
1 1. Elizabeth Gorman
Let’s not play dumb here. The only reason the Legends Football League – formerly the Lingerie Football League – exists, is so that men can sit around and watch beautiful, young women run around and get all sweaty in their underwear while they try and pass it off as some legitimate athletic competition.
It’s every man’s fantasy. It’s literally the one and ONLY reason we watch or even know what the LFL is. But, of all those scantily clad women frolicking around on the gridiron, 30-year-old defensive player for the Los Angeles Temptation, Elizabeth Gorman, stands out from the crowd with her almost-so-hot-it-hurts beauty, thanks in large part to her unbelievable set of twins.
Apparently she’s really good on defense, too, which is great and all, but I’m guessing you’ll sooner look up her Instagram account than her LFL stats, and I can’t say I blame you.
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