Hayden Panettiere is eye candy for many male eyes across the globe. Unfortunately for all the candy-seeking men out there, she’s married to heavyweight boxer Vladimir Klitschko. Klitschko, known for knocking the snot out of other obscenely tough men, may take serious issue with roaming eyes stopping for extended looks at his significant other. Perhaps if one plans to be in the same vicinity as Hayden & Vlad, consider wearing sunglasses to hide your eyes (#shades2gaze).
The reality is…Klitschko (and Panettiere herself) are well accustomed to the lack of privacy that follows a high profile couple, something they qualify as given their respective successes in their chosen professions. Even post-retirement, the former boxing heavyweight champion of the world is still very much a sports icon and finds himself in the spotlight, especially when the fight world is top of mind. However, I think we can all agree Klitschko’s fighting days may not be entirely over when you consider some of the unwanted attention his wife, with her stunning looks, brings to their relationship.
On that note, let’s take a look at 15 photos of Hayden Panettiere that Vlad may want to be stricken from all Internet records…
15 Beach Fun
Hard to imagine Wladimir wanting Google spitting out tens of thousands of bikini photos of Hayden. I still struggle to understand the ‘physics’ behind their love life - He must BREAK her! Anyways, let us assume they’ve figured out workarounds to deal with their different weight classes, shall we?
Panettiere and Klitschko became parents back in December 2014, with Hayden giving birth to a baby girl. Three years, later clearly she has shed all the baby weight and is looking damn fine for all onlookers. A must-see beach attraction herself, Panettiere has also been involved in aquatic activism, including purposefully disrupting a dolphin hunt in Japan. Part of the altercation can actually be seen in the documentary The Cove. Fighting and arguing with various Japanese fishermen, I bet she wished Wlad had been by her side. I’d imagine the argument would’ve been substantially shorter in length.
14 Mirror Gazing
Mirror mirror on the wall…call me crazy for thinking the former heavyweight titleholder probably isn’t too keen on his wife, and mother of their child, posing seductively in front of mirrors. Especially when he’s not present to reap the benefits.
A former child star, Panettiere has clearly transitioned into more adult-focused work, most notably starring on Heroes and Nashville. During Klitschko’s career, she would be a frequent sight at ringside during his matches, none of which would ever come against his brother, Vitali, who was another dominant fighter in the heavyweight division. For years, the boxing community craved a fight that would pit the brothers against one another, but neither would ever budge, citing a promise they both made to their mother to never fight one another. I mean…I get it. But what if Vitali wanted Hayden? Ding Ding, Round One.
Lifeguard on duty! I myself would exercise very little caution in the water if Panettiere were monitoring the beaches. Opting for aquatic recklessness could lead to her having to save my life. Of course, I’d be respectful throughout the process (!!!), knowing the contrary could lead to Wladimir following up with a house call to discuss possible unwelcome advances made during his wife’s heroics. Pardon me, but the thought of a large Ukrainian man appearing at one’s front door should be cause for some level of concern. Add in the fact that large man sits 2nd all-time in heavyweight title bout wins, and it’s probably best you get somebody else to answer the door and tell him you’re not home.
12 Around The House
It seems odd Klitschko would want the Internet seeing what awaits him after a long day of hard work, but that’s precisely what this photo depicts. One can only imagine the level of Love & Care he requires after being repeatedly punched in the head and stomach for 12 rounds (although, only 10 of his 69 fights were decided via decision). Despite her husband not having to put a full day’s work in most of the time, Hayden certainly felt the need to pamper him after a fight. Making a living as a fighter has to be tough, even despite the reported paydays (keep in mind, 99.9% of boxers/fighters make 3, maybe 4-figure paydays in lesser known promotions). Unable to prove the following theory with science-based evidence, having a goddess like Hayden in your corner has to help speed up the recovery process.
11 On A Boat
An angel on land, I’m sure we can all agree Hayden is mermaid material on the water. As is often the case with fighters (and their families), the downtime required after a fight can be extensive. The bumps, bruises, and injuries sustained in fighting need time to heal. And what better way to spend one’s downtime than on a yacht with their smoke show wife?? And thanks to the Internet and digital photography, all of us get to live vicariously through Klitschko with pictures like this. Sailing and soaking up the sun is fun in and of itself. But doing it alongside someone with the qualifications Hayden Panettiere displays exponentially enhances the experience. All aboard Captain! Let’s hit the high seas, and possibly never come back! What was that?... Wlad isn’t onboard yet? He can catch up with us later!
10 Jealous Yet?
*Wlad speaking* “Who is ‘dis twerp holding my teeny tiny wife? Panetierre and Klitschko briefly split between 2011 & 2013. During this time, she would hook up with NFLer Scotty McKnight (seen in this photo). McKnight, taken in the seventh round of the 2011 NFL Draft by the New York Jets, would last only one season in the NFL and finish his career with 0 receptions --- though one could argue his ‘catch’ of Panetierre, although only for a brief time, qualifies as a clutch catch. A final note, upon verifying the identity of McKnight from the photo, Klitschko boarded a plane from Ukraine to New York to ‘meet some friends’… McKnight has not been seen since - that is, of course, a false story but it’s funny to think about.
9 Sailing Away
Yet another sailing moment…hard to imagine Wlad wanting this one to remain in circulation. All these boat photos and they’ve yet to create their own Titanic moment (I’m of course talking about the ‘flying photo’. I’m not suggesting they crash their yacht into an iceberg). Equally hard to imagine, but Panetierre has admitted to suffering from stage fright (as an actress???). She’s also unable to kill bugs, making her only exception for mosquitos. Fairly certain Klitschko takes no issue ending the life of anything. He essentially ended (or shortened significantly) the lives of humans during his days as a boxer.
8 What Is So Funny?
I’m not entirely sure what she is laughing at in this photo, but it’s a pose that certainly gets the imagination going… and Wlad’s blood boiling. Looking stunning on the red carpet (as she usually does), someone clearly got her to laugh to the point she had trouble standing. Known her bubbly personality and beautiful smile, it's no surprise she enjoys a little humour.
Circumstances and context aside, Klitschko most certainly fumes at the sight of his wife laughing at someone else's jokes. He isn't known as much of a comedian, so he might need to invest in some joke books to keep his wife entertained.
7 Secret Passenger
Not sure what the deal is with her in this one, but it appears she’s itching to be kidnapped or Taken (great movie!). Not sure as to why she’s shhhh’ing the camera with those red lips, but if they don’t get out of dodge shortly, who knows what Klitschko is capable of if he returns and perceives his damsel to be in distress. Few are aware that in addition to holding an unofficial doctorate degree in boxing, Wladimir Klitschko holds a doctorate in sports science, obtained in 2011. He has long been an adjunct professor at the University of St. Gallen in Switzerland where he teaches a master’s degree level course. Can’t imagine he takes too kindly to late assignments.
Polka dots are a nice touch. It’s hard to imagine her not looking superb in anything she chooses to wear. The fact she is soaking up the sun poolside doesn't hurt the quality of this photo either. What's interesting is that Wladimir doesn't seem to be around. One must wonder how often she swims alone. Want to hear something funny? Wladimir’s nickname is “Dr. Steelhammer”. Oh, the jokes that come to mind. For now, I’m sure Dr. Steelhammer prescribes the removal of all photos of Mrs. Steelhammer from the Internet immediately. Certainly, that wouldn’t be good for the collective health and well being of men everywhere though, am I right?
5 Reaching In
I’m sure all of us suspected forever Hayden could do no thong… I mean, wrong. Nothing like an unflattering photo of your wife attempting to fix a problem downstairs while shooting a scene of a show. And if that wasn’t enough to infuriate her husband, there are much more scattered in and around the darkest corners of the Internet. Perhaps consider a belt next time Hayden? Some might argue she was just keeping her hands warm. It looks like they're shooting on the beach, which means warmth shouldn't be a problem. Maybe sweat becomes a problem under those circumstances, but we don't want to think about that. Just enjoy the view.
4 Hula Time
Is this what they mean when they say ‘Love comes full circle’? While I myself am not a hula-hoop expert, I thought the activity’s dress code called for more than what is shown here. Although she might have been scared of the hoop getting caught in her clothing. This may then explain the lack of apparel. Having never seen her perform, I’m already declaring Hayden Panettiere the winner by unanimous decision. While boxers are known to jump rope to train, we seriously doubt Klitschko could even fit in a hula hoop, much less let his tough image be shattered by playing with one. Though most guys would probably take it up if their wife asked them to, especially her.
3 Chow Down
Now, all of the photos seen here showcase a face and body that appears to have been constructed with perfection being the ultimate goal. Buuuuuuuut, how can she expect to maintain such a goddess-like figure, eating the garbage pictured here? Clearly an older photo, Panettiere became a vegetarian at one point in her life but later, re-introduced some forms of meat back into her diet. When asked why she stated that the vegetarian diet was causing some health issues and often left her ‘void of energy’. All sleep and no play makes Wladimir an angry husband.
2 Kissing Another... Man?
Well, that’s certainly not her husband’s behind, yet Mrs. Klitschko still insisted on licking it. While this may provide some form of preview as to what goes on behind closed doors, the thought of Hayden licking the assets of another man, real or statue, probably doesn’t sit well with Dr. Steelhammer. No word on what form(s) of punishment, if any, Panettiere was subjected to for her modest transgression. She was definitely having some fun taking this picture, but we can't help but wonder if this is a sign of the sort of things she enjoys doing away from the camera lens...
1 What Is Going On?
And for the finale…we have…what…the… While I can’t confirm, Tyler Shields (the man pictured here) might very well be at the bottom of some Ukrainian body of water. A well-known photographer, famous for capturing provocative moments, Shields and Panettiere had quite the day it would seem during their photoshoot. Given the shoot’s publicity when it took place, it’s obvious Hayden’s Heavyweight husband is aware of their existence. But it doesn’t mean he’s happy. Unsure as to whether there are plans for a Round 2, I highly doubt Klitschko gives the green light for Hayden to spend another day with Shield’s or his camera.