Ringing in the New Years probably has brought you either reluctance or with lots of motivation to the gym. These trips can be boring after a while, especially if you are on a very strict fitness regime. However, they can also be highly entertaining, if you know where to look.
For instance, after a few trips, you might begin to notice the same people coming to the gym, especially if you're used to going in around the same time. You also might even begin to start to name them and know all about their lives, even if you've never talked to them a single minute before.
Although they might not actually be their birth-given names, you at least know who you're talking about when you're gossiping or even venting about them to your friends in the afternoon.
If you've run out of creative names to give to your fellow gym-goers or you have yet to begin your fitness adventure, we can help you by letting you know the types of people you'll probably meet, so you won’t get caught staring... or whatever we can do to best prevent that.
From that selfie-girl to the man with the buff upper body and stick legs, we’ve covered most stereotypical gym-goers. If you find that one of these types of people is missing from your gym, be aware — it might be you!
Here are our top 8 types of women and 7 types of men you will definitely meet at your local gym.
15 "The Social Butterfly"
Be prepared to see this girl walking around the gym for the next few hours. If you see her coming your way, be prepared for an extra long diversion. Trying to finish your last few reps of your final set? She won’t care, she’d much rather gab on and on about how bad traffic was on her way here, or how much she spent online shopping yesterday.
If she's one of your friends and you were planning on going to the gym with her, don't plan on getting your workout done in less than an hour. However entertaining she might be, she's not very productive when it comes to time management, but being friends with the Social Butterfly might get you perks with the staff.
14 "The Guy Who Has No Idea What He's Doing"
A danger to himself kind of guy, who really is just amusement for those around him. This guy at the gym is not willing to take much instruction, direction, or read even those easy-to-understand pictures on the sides of the machines at the gym. He marches to his own drum, but unfortunately, that rhythm might be at the expense of his own health.
This is just not the one that’s on the machine upside down, or swings back and forth on the lat pulldown, or does 120 reps of everything because he’s macho, he also is the one that has really big arms and sticks for legs, works biceps but ignores his triceps, does one hundred push-ups, but his back looks flatter than a piece of paper. There are many guys in the gym that don't know what they're doing, so this will be an easy type to spot.
13 "The Ready For Paparazzi/Make-Up Model"
Remember that one time you spent forever getting your makeup just right for a perfect night out? It might have you taken hours and you were so happy that the club was really dark because no one could see how you actually look after you sweat.
The Make-Up Model spends hours and hours perfecting her makeup too, the only thing that’s different between her and you, is that she spends all that money and time to just go to the gym. Yes, she might have all this attention from the guys when they keep looking her over while she's walking on the treadmill or pushing her abductors and adductors on that weird machine that doesn't seem to do much but does she even really get a workout in? Do you even lift, girl?
12 The “Leg Day? What’s That?” Guy
You'll see the guy walking around with toothpicks for legs and machine guns for arms. It’ll look like he had skipped over leg day, more than just a few times. Honestly, we don’t really think that he knows what a leg press machine really does.
It’s really impressive how he hasn't fallen over a time or two because of well, the physics of his upper body compared to his lower body or how his legs have yet to split right down the middle because of the sheer weight that stands right above them. When we see him, we want to just take his hand and lead him right to a squat machine, or leg extension, calf machine, or anything really.
11 "The Selfie Queen"
There should be a “give cell phones here” before-entering-spot when going to the gym because even though it doesn't actually bother us, it really bothers us. Often combined with the Way-Too-Much-Make-Up-Girl, this Selfie Queen looks good and wants everyone to know about.
Snapchat, Instagram, Facebook, you name it, this girl’s got it — and 100,000 followers liking all of her photos. She is the one that needs to broadcast her trip to the gym, even though she actually didn't work out. The one that might have motivated you to also get up every morning and go to the gym because of all her selfies but come to find out, all those pictures were actually from the same day, she just is highly dedicated to posting every day. If only she was just as committed to a workout routine as she was to posting on social media.
10 "The Grunter" / "The Weight Slammer"
Okay, we get it, you like to lift big weights and put them back down again, but do you have to let the whole gym know about it? We like to call this guy, the grunter, also known as weight slammer. Not so rare in the gym if you're hanging out in the free weight section, but one of the most annoying of the types because not only do you have to witness his improper form, you also have to hear about it too, from like, the other side of the gym.
If you are an Olympic lifter, or if you like to compete in CrossFit, there are gyms for that — you are not doing yourself any favors or getting any new fans or followers by slamming down your barbell and yelling, consequentially scaring our seven-year-old sons we’re just taking through to their basketball practice. That is not what being a man is about.
9 "The Machine Hog"
Best friends with the Selfie Queen, the Machine Hog spends her time working out, which we definitely give her kudos for, but spends more time actually on social media and texting than she does exercising. She is probably spending her time online "like-ing" the pictures from the Selfie Queen.
With this new day and age, the Machine Hog has so much more technology and apps to work with, which prolongs their time on the machine, but gives us way many more reasons to be angry at them. Prepare to spend a lot of time waiting for them to be finished, and don't you dare ask them how much longer they'll be on the machine for because they'll probably just tweet about how annoyed they are at you.
8 “The Sweater”
The Sweater isn't someone who constantly wears long-sleeved apparel to the gym, and if they do, they're really not helping their case. It is someone who sweats profusely, no matter if they just started doing their five minute warm-up on the treadmill machine and have left the handlebars with wet, watery grips on it, right before you hopped on
Ever move from one machine to another just to be horrifically met with a pool of sweat in the shape of a backside slicking wet on the seat? It’s not pleasant. We know you can’t control your sweat glands, but the least you can do is wipe after every movement you've made, or get your own gym.
7 “The Sorority Walker”
Proudly boasting her sisterhood as Alpha Beta Phi Delta Sigma whatever it is, she still wears her Sorority T-shirts as she obligingly trudges her one-mile walk on the treadmill twice a week, because she had once vowed to keep her body “hot”, as a pledge in her sorority.
The expensive membership wasn't as much as it was when she had to pay for her friends during her college years, but at least she got a few really cool t-shirts to remember all the parties that she drank away in college. Even though she definitely doesn't bother us by hogging the machines (maybe just the adductor and abductor machine), her presence, just like their high giggles and perfectly staged pictures annoyed us in college.
6 “The Water Drinker”
Hydrating is definitely, very important. But is it really necessary to carry around a large water jug with you with every step you take to every exercise? The Water Drinkers don't even have the decency to transfer the water into separate small, normal-sized bottles, opting to just buy them straight in those gallon containers made for drinking time for horses and most animals.
You'll see these guys at your local gym but if you don't see them, take a look at what type of water bottle you've been carrying around, you might be one of them! The Water Drinker is sure to be hydrated, but also, one of the least popular gym types, especially if you are behind this guy at the water fountain.
5 "The Phone Caller on the Treadmill"
We don't know why a phone call annoys us so much more than regular conversation does, maybe because we’re so nosy and can’t hear the second part of the conversation, but being on a phone call, especially one that gossips about people we don't know makes us a little more uncomfortable and a little more annoyed than just being an innocent bystander of two-people making conversation. Hearing a one-sided conversation is one of our top most frustrating things in this world.
When someone is talking on the phone while they're on the treadmill, it usually means that they'll take much longer than the “20 more minutes if someone’s waiting” policy and we all know you're a stickler for the rules.
4 “The Guy with the Gear”
Ever see the guy decked out in all the same brand? For instance, you might see them walking around in Adidas clothes that he pays more for than his entire gym membership. The usually don't even stop at just shorts and shirt, these guys with the gear are usually wearing running shoes, high socks, even headbands.
Gear even goes beyond the clothes, they also might have the Apple Running Watch even though they never actually run, they might have automatic, wireless earphones, even though you can still hear their music anyways or the app that shows them the different exercises in their supposed workout they're supposed to be doing rather than checking out all the statistics in their highly advanced technology.
3 "The Showoff"
Although she might be proud of her insane, off-the-wall workouts, (and we might just be a little jealous), she doesn't have to show it off every time they go to the gym. Can’t she just do a normal, boring workout just like everyone else?
Whether it’s her heavy lifting reps, or her crazy, plyometric exercises, The Showoff wants you to know that she's much, much stronger than you and also follows much better Instagram workout pages. She might also maintain a blog (that you’ll probably find yourself scoping out after you go home). You might also find yourself taking some tips from her or trying to emulate her in the next workout (obviously not while you're still right next to her to give her the satisfaction), you just might learn a thing or two from The Showoff.
2 “The Former Collegiate Athlete”
The same concept like the guy with the gear, except this guy, used to ride the bench all four years of their collegiate career and wants everyone to know it. Rather, they want you to think that they created some sort of an impact on their collegiate team than just being a bench warmer.
Even if they weren't a stand-out player, or even got a chance to see some minutes on the field, they will still continuously wear their team’s practice shirt and shorts, and socks, even hat, just to let everyone know they were sitting on the same bus, as the greats. Even if it was ten years ago, these former collegiate athletes still represent their school while they're still trying to complete the same workouts from a decade ago.
1 "The Really, Really Tan Girl"
Orange, rusty, wrinkly, pruned, "The Really, Really Tan Girl" has a tan reserved only for those insane body-building competitions — without the muscles. We just want to walk over to her and warn her about the dangers of skin cancer. Even though she might think she looks better with a tan, and it probably is true, the tan should be a little bit more contained.
Not only are tanning booths dangerous for your health, they also can be addictive. These types at the gym, besides looking like an old, bruised orange, not only make you feel pale but also make you feel a little uncomfortable. We just hope that someone had the decency to tell them the dangers of excessive UV rays because if you see them one more time you might just say something.
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