While it’s virtually common knowledge that rappers and athletes have some sort of weird infatuation with each other’s lives, nothing can explain the way that Drake has latched onto athletes across several sports – even literally, in some instances. That’s right, despite being one of the biggest entertainers in the world and arguably the best rapper of our time, “Drizzy” has proven time and time again that he simply cannot pass up an opportunity to hop on a team’s bandwagon, attach his name and signature smile to their movement and gallivant like a groupie when they predictably win.
Whether it’s Drake’s weird relationship with Coach Calipari and the Kentucky Wildcats, his insistence on becoming Toronto’s hilariously useless version of Spike Lee or his inexplicable knack for posing with athletes like he’s a proud trophy-wife, Drizzy has given us so much firepower that this could easily be a Top 30 list. Sure, it sounds extremely harsh, but Drake is infinitely better at rapping and singing than he is at coming across as a loyal fan; yet and still his eye-rolling fanboy antics are exactly what bring us here today with a thorough list of thoughtful grievances.
Things have gotten so real for Drake that people know his presence pretty much represents a harbinger of death for any franchise that catches his eye, as once Drizzy latches on to your team, losing is sure to follow shortly thereafter. At the end of the day, when an entertainer like Drake becomes hell-bent on abusing his own celebrity status to make things about himself, everybody’s focus and sense of team are compromised and bad things can surely happen. Even when he’s not ripping teams apart with a goofy smile, Drake still finds countless ways to make us wish he would pick up a new hobby like collecting stamps or taxidermy in his spare time. Ladies and gentlemen, behold Drake’s Top 15 Most Annoying Sports Moments of all-time:
15. DeMacus Cousins Wears Drake Under His Arm
While it’s always going to border on hilarious whenever a 7-footer and a normal-sized human interact with one another, Drake took it to a new level when he lovingly nestled under DeMarcus Cousins’ sweaty armpit for a whole two minutes during a post-game interview back in 2010. Inexplicably, Drake (who is arguably the #1 University of Kentucky groupie of all-time) not only tolerated coming across as a proud trophy-wife, but he also maintained his signature smile despite the fact that reporters were dangling their microphones mere inches from his face. Unsurprisingly, this video and the resulting memes, GIFs and social commentary nearly broke the Internet.
14. Drake Air-Balls While Warming Up With Kentucky Wildcats
All of Drake’s Kentucky Wildcats bandwagoning culminated in this moment in which Coach Calipari decided to let Drake participate in UK’s layup line; something he probably won’t do again after Drake humiliated himself with an unforgettable air-ball. That’s right, it turns out Drake isn’t quite the “baller” he portrays himself to be in Degrassi or even in his music (“I been Steph Curry with the shot”), and his UK brothers had to do their best to suppress their laughter as the rapper made a fool of himself. At this point, Drake’s sports-related antics were still mildly entertaining, but it wouldn’t be long before he became one of the most annoyingly overly-involved sports fanatics.
13. Drake Somehow Gives The Kentucky Wildcats A Post-Game Speech
As if it wasn’t already enough that Drake started spending every waking moment with UK’s basketball team, Calipari head-scratchingly gave him the green light to deliver a post-victory speech to his team – in the playoffs, mind you. Not only was Drizzy’s speech super cliché and unspecific, but it also made it painfully obvious that Calipari was simply allowing Drake to stick around in order to break the generational barrier between his UK coaching staff and the UK players. While Drake maintains that Calipari is a mentor of his and somewhat of a spiritual and educational adviser, you can’t tell me that even he wasn’t a little creeped out by how present Drake always was.
12. Drake Botches A Soccer Kick, Breaks A Lamp
This one was more hilarious than annoying, but the Kardashian-esque attention that the clip received ultimately transformed it into a major headache. Still, America couldn’t help but share a chuckle after Drake’s futile attempt to kick a soccer ball went awry and he broke what looked to be an expensive lamp. With the knowledge that he had already gone viral for air-balling in the back of his mind, an embarrassed Drake flashed a deer-in-the-headlights look over to the camera man and humorously began shouting “GOOOOALLLLLL!!!!” While Drake was able to save face with some much-needed comic relief, the moral of the story is: if you’re rich enough to own a soccer goal, you better know how to kick the damn ball into the 24-foot-wide net. Some lamps can’t be unbroken.
11. Drake Celebrates With UConn After They Beat Kentucky
Drake already posing with Uconn ??? pic.twitter.com/aiiSVzmReY
— Tyler Trout (@TylerTrout22) April 8, 2014
Amidst a firestorm of allegations that Drake was more of a bandwagoning celebrity than a loyal sports fanatic, he decided to feed the media additional bait by hanging out and taking selfies in UConn’s locker room with Rip Hamilton right after UConn handed his favorite Kentucky team an ass-whooping. Sure, it’s entirely possible that Drake wasn’t switching allegiances temporarily, but why is it that he seems to have such an obsession with being present during locker room happenings in the first place? While we’ll never understand the allure of being around a bunch of partially nude, sweaty men in a cramped space, that’s not what Drake’s on trial here for: he slipped up by not sticking by his team when they probably could have used another one of his cliché speeches.
10. Drake Is Denied Access To The Miami Heat Locker Room
Sorry Drake, the fact that you’re ‘Drizzy in the flesh’ doesn’t grant you access to every locker room in the world; that’s right, some of these bouncers are onto your little fetish. One look at Drake’s expression sums up his disappointment and we’re left feeling the same sentiment at his constant need to cuddle up and play kiss-ass with successful athletes. Of course, like he has time and time again, Drake would find a way to get his sweet revenge for this humiliating episode during his little vacation in Miami. Also, how refreshing it to see Drake getting treated like an Average Joe for once?
9. LeBron James Wears Drake Under His Arm
After getting snubbed during his locker room quest, Drake made sure to heavily involve himself in the Miami Heat’s championship party where he once again took up his second profession – moonlighting as a trophy-wife for hire. Throughout the night, Drake was seen serving as a human crutch for Finals MVP LeBron James, who hugged the significantly shorter Drake for dear life like he was his firstborn son as the duo sipped champagne and danced the night away. Considering the fact that Drake was deemed loyal enough (or successful enough) to be the Global Ambassador for the Toronto Raptors, it’s kind of head-scratching that he’d even be present at a party like this – let’s add one more point to his bandwagoning score sheet.
8. Drake Reads The Toronto Raptors Starting Lineup
While Drake has had some funny moments over the years, this was certainly not one of them. Back before he became the face of the Raptors somehow, the superstar rapper was invited to read the Toronto Raptors starting lineup at the Air Canada Centre and showcased his classic corniness on a nationally-televised program by unsuccessfully trying to emulate Will Ferrell’s hilarious lineup-reading style. One look at the stoic looks maintained by Dwane Casey and the Toronto Raptors’ players while Drake does his best to try and amuse a crowd full of uninterested, unmoved fans eager to see some basketball will tell you the whole story. You’re better than this Drake.
7. Drake & Johnny Manziel’s Bromance Goes Too Far
While Manziel was still a quarterback for Texas A&M, he and Drake had a peculiar relationship and became so awkwardly close that Drake considered them a “duo.” Whether they were partying together, exchanging back rubs or dining together, there were certainly some eyebrows being raised at their bromance. Drake told reporters his bond with Johnny Manziel stems from them both being child stars and runs much deeper than that. Further fueling this creepy bromance, Johnny Manziel even got an “OVO” tattoo on his wrist and found his way onto Drake’s “Draft Day” song, which may have been Drake’s cute way of encouraging his buddy Maniziel heading into the draft. Now look at Johnny Manziel.
6. Drake Sensually Blows In Lance Stephenson’s Ear
While hosting the ESPYs and doing a pretty commendable job, Drake still made sure to add an extreme dose of unnecessary flair to a moment mocking Lance Stephenson’s infamous ear blow on LeBron James. After awkwardly hovering over Lance Stephenson and babbling about how much he respects him, Drizzy had a sweet, sensual moment with Lance where he blew in his ear while blasting slow jams and later nestled into his bosom for comfort, where he repeated “it’s so good.” Drake then brought Paul “PG-13” George into the fun(?) and forced Lance to help him tag team Paul George’s eardrums.
5. Drake Joins The Seattle Seahawks Bandwagon
Wow, just wow. Shortly after the Seattle Seahawks distinguished themselves as the top team in football (back around 2013 anyway), Drake chimed in during one of his concerts and told a crowd of Seattleites that the Seahawks are one of his favorite football teams and his #1 favorite team to use in Madden. The verdict is out: Drake’s bandwagoning nature is undeniable, indisputable and unlikely to be disappearing anytime soon. Drizzy even flat-out told reporters this: “I’m a newer Seahawks fan, but I’m still a Seahawks fan.” Oh, the Seahawks suddenly happened to be the top team in the NFL too? How convenient.
4. Drake Becomes A Tennis Groupie For Serena Williams
Whenever Drake latches on to a team or player, losing follows shortly thereafter. Such was the case with the Kentucky Wildcats and Toronto Raptors and such was again the case with Drizzy’s groupie-like support of Serena Williams – which the Twitterverse will argue was pretty much unanimously Drizzy’s fault. While Drake and Serena were definitely in contention for the cutest summer fling of 2015 as he cheered loudly during her US Open match, sat front row at her NY Fashion Week Show and couldn’t keep his hands off of her for all of 2-3 weeks before they cut it off, he definitely strung her along and she let him get into her mind. OK, ok fine – maybe it’s unfair to blame Drake for her uncharacteristic loss, but still, the way he cheered Serena on like a proud soccer mom was hilarious.
3. Drake Tries To Be Toronto’s Spike Lee In Game 7 Loss
This game in the 2014 NBA Playoffs pretty much confirmed that Drake gets to do whatever the hell he pleases when he’s on Canadian soil. During Game 7, Drizzy was little more than Toronto’s embarrassingly useless sixth man, parading up and down the sidelines and demanding all of the attention imaginable. While Drake probably had his eyes on developing some sort of Reggie Miller and Spike Lee-like historic moment in the Air Canada Centre, he instead came across like more of an annoying brat as he arguably derailed the Raptors players’ focus and was forced to leave with his pride tarnished.
2. Drake Lint Rolls His Pants At Raptors-Nets Game
As if sitting courtside wasn’t bougie enough, Drake decided to flash his better-than-thou-ness by lint rolling his pants instead of watching his Raptors execute on offense in Game 2 of the Playoffs. Of course, we all know that NBA arenas are pretty much cesspools riddled with vicious lint that require massive amounts of in-game lint rolling, so who can blame him? While the social universe blew up about it, Drake flashed his PR genius once more and comically responded by posting a pic of his lint rolling with the caption “Lint Rollers On Deck.” Then, he took the joke annoyingly far and worked with the Raptors to sarcastically hand out 1,200 OVO-branded lint rollers before Game 5 in Toronto. We get it Drake, but can we keep the focus on basketball? Brooklyn would go on to win the series.
1. Drake Touches Paul Pierce’s Arm During A Playoff Game
While reputable publications certainly overhyped the “tension” between Drake and Paul Pierce after Drake reached out and grabbed Pierce’s arm, there’s no question that Drake pulled the ultimate party foul by touching an athlete. Again, why Drake even feels the need to have skin-on-skin interaction with so many of these athletes is beyond us, but there’s nothing cool or funny about physically distracting a professional athlete during a crucial moment in a big playoff game.
Remember what happened to Steve Bartman when he interfered? While Bartman never offered us the soul-touching musical talents that Drake is able to console us with, Drizzy still needs to take it down several notches if he hopes to be anything more than a distraction to sports teams in the future. Drake would later be heavily booed in Washington and Paul Pierce would spend the next year trolling Drake – culminating in the moment when Washington swept Toronto in the 2015 Playoffs.
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