We are all inhabitants of the only planet known to support life, as we know it. Sure, odds are there’s many more scattered across the galaxies that make up an infinite universe…but for now, Earth is all we have.
Earth’s surface area is 197,000,000 square miles or 510 million square kilometers. Regardless of your measurement literacy, just know that our planet is huge and such, and that it showcases some truly magnificent visuals. Vast mountain ranges, lush green fields and smooth ice sheets spanning as far as the eye can see, and smothering oceans that make up ~71% of the planet. Throw in the pyramids and countless more ‘wonders’ (how many are there again?), and it’s easy to see ‘Earth has a lot going for it’…but let’s not forget the youngest wonder of the world and life’s actual greatest gift. That goes for both men and women …I’m of course talking about yoga pants. Unlike the others, yoga pants can be seen everywhere! Something so beautiful should not be so readily available, yet that’s precisely the case when talking about yoga pants. And collectively, we are all better, happier (and more comfortable) because of it.
Why don’t we take a look at 15 (so hard to choose only 15) female athletes wearing yoga pants and in doing so, zen out, forgetting all our bothers.
15 Tia Blanco (Surfer)
Kicking things off, we have American surfer, Tia Blanco. Her appearance ALMOST makes me want to take up veganism, a lifestyle Blanco herself subscribes to and credits for her success. I simply cannot imagine life without the option of steak. Sorry Tia. For her career, Blanco has won two Gold medals on the International Surfer Association’s circuit. She won the 2015 Women’s World Surfing Championship, and successfully defended her title winning the same tournament again in 2016. Blanco hopes to compete at the 2020 Olympics in Tokyo. If circumstances change, she can always make a living modeling athletic wear…Spending most of her time in a bikini riding waves, Blanco enjoys and often participates in yoga and pilates. And looks like a TEN doing those as well. She’s a mermaid.
14 Eugenie Bouchard (Tennis)
Right after Eugenie Bouchard burst onto the scene several years ago, making the finals at Wimbledon 2014, her tennis career has been in a tailspin. She would lose the final and enjoy moderate success shortly after before all went wrong. The silver lining of Bouchard’s struggles is even when she loses, she looks good doing it. When she’s not sporting the latest and greatest in Nike tennis appare, the Westmount, QC native is a willing endorser of yoga pants and Instagram filters. A party-scene regular in Montreal and wherever her tennis obligations take her, Bouchard’s bottom’ wrapped in yoga pants will leave you saying “Ohmm-myyyyygod.”
13 Hope Solo (Soccer)
The decorated goalkeeper for the US Women’s National team is a sight for sore eyes when she opts to wear her yoga gear. A two-time Olympic Gold medalist and 2015 World Cup champion, Hope Solo’s career has had many highlights. She’s also had some legal issues, having been arrested and charged for assaulting her half-sister and another for assaulting her nephew (who's 6’9" apparently). Maybe she can use yoga to get centered, courtesy of some ‘downward dog’ perhaps? If that doesn’t work, perhaps a gym session to hit the heavy bag? Whatever it is, make sure the dress code mandates ‘yoga style garments be worn’. Solo is also in the running to be the newest President of the US Soccer Federation.
12 Jade Randle (Lingerie Football)
Now, many may not know who Jade Randle is --- I sure as hell didn’t before creating this list --- but she is the leading tackler in the Lingerie Football League. The LFL might not be known for its sure-handed tacklers and Randle does it better than anybody. Something else she excels at more than most is rocking a pair of yogis (can we call them that?). Once again, finding a toosh that doesn’t look good in a pair of lulus is approaching impossible. Randle, for all her hard work and tackling on the field need not apply, as I, with the support of men around the world, grant Ms. Randle a lifetime yogis pass.
11 Paige VanZant (MMA)
Paige VanZant is a whole different level of sexy. On top of looking like a real-life Barbie doll, Paige VanZant could kick all of our asses (and look damn good doing it!). VanZant, 23, fights in both the Strawweight and more recently, Flyweight divisions of the UFC, owning an MMA record of 7 wins and 3 losses. Her profession certainly adds an added layer of sex appeal to her when you consider just how disciplined and dedicated one has to be to make a living fighting. Despite losing two of her last three fights, the native of Dundee, Oregon figures to remain a staple of the women’s landscape in the UFC due to her marketability and a skillset that remains amongst the UFC’s most impressive. While the last part is more debatable, VanZant’s warrior one, two, and three poses are ‘undisputedly’ the best the UFC has to offer.
10 Caroline Wozniacki (Tennis)
The Danish tennis star is having quite the year, despite once again being shut out from a grand slam title. Ranked no.3 on the WTA tour, Caroline Wozniacki is best known for her relentless style of defensive tennis, capable of getting any and every ball back without fail…all that said, she has zero grand slams to her name. Despite that, Woz scored BIG off the court this year, getting engaged to former NBA player, David Lee. While I’ve yet to dig deep into their plans for a family, ‘getting married’ is often followed by ‘sleepless nights & *hitty diapers’, supposedly ‘Life’s Greatest Gift’. Kids or no kids, let’s all agree that winning a grand slam would be the most welcomed addition to Wozniacki’s Danish Wedding Soup.
9 Sloane Stephens (Tennis)
Stephens capped off her 2017 season by winning the US Open. When was the last time an American woman not named Serena or Venus won the US Open? Lindsay Davenport, back in 1998. Stephens, along with Madison Keys, represent the next generation of US Women’s tennis. And they played one another in the 2017 US Open Finals. Only a recent addition to the Grand Slam Club with the 2017 US Open being her first, Stephens has long been a member of the Nice Assets club, a club with membership requirements I deem to be on par with the ‘grand slam folk'. Back to the court…Stephens is trending towards being a consistent contender in all major tournaments moving forward, finishing 2017 no. 13 in the world.
8 Sabine Lisicki (Tennis)
Lisicki, presently ranked no. 245 after injuries and bouts of poor play caused her to plummet down the WTA rankings last season, is a young up-and-comer on the women’s tour. Having reached the final of a grand slam once, back in 2013 at Wimbledon (a loss to Marion Bartoli), Lisicki has the potential to vault back up the rankings if she stays healthy --- her career high rank was no. 12, back in 2012. A huge supporter of Bayern Munich FC, Lisicki spends most of her time in Florida and is fluent in German, English, and Polish. Like most of the world now, Liscki is gluten intolerant (when did gluten & nuts decide they were taking over the world?). Fine print and imperfections aside, watching a Liscki practice court session can brighten up even the darkest of days.
7 Anna Kournikova (Tennis)
Sure, let’s call Anna Kournikova a ‘tennis star’…zero WTA wins, 2 ITF victories and a career high ranking of no. 8, achieved back in November 2010 --- she was far more successful on the doubles circuit, highlighted by two Australian Open Championships. Her partner, you ask? --- Martina Hingis). Better known for being Enrique Iglesias’ target (?) in his music video “Escape” --- she’s the one who can’t escape his love? “You can run, you can hide, but you can’t escape my love” Is nobody else seeing this? (*Snaps back to reality*)… Anna Kournikova looks really good in yoga pants and everything else is hearsay, including both her short marriages to Sergei Fedorov and, not surprisingly, Enrique Iglesias --- SHE ESCAPED!
6 Maren Schiller (Track & Field)
Maren Schiller is not in the spotlight like many of the other women on this list. The 22 year-old is a German track-and-field star, hoping to qualify for Tokyo 2020. Holding sponsorships with FILA & Under Armour, Schiller is no joke in her line of work. In addition to her Olympic dreams, Schiller is also a blogger, writing about her travel-filled lifestyle, regularly posting selfies. What doesn’t upset me is when another person graciously takes a photo of somebody, especially if that somebody is a beautiful, nice-looking woman who happens to be wearing pants that might as well be painted on. Schiller qualifies for that designation. Less selfies, and more running…and stretching…and make sure you dress appropriately. Looking the part is half the battle.
5 Torrie Wilson (WWE Diva/Model)
One of the Queens of WCW’s invasion of WWE back in 2001, Torrie Wilson remains one of the most prominent and successful Divas in WWE history. Memorable feuds with Sable & Dawn Marie, along with numerous pose-off, bikini, and lingerie showdown trophies, Wilson’s WWE career accomplishments are extensive. Prior to WWE, Wilson is well known for her involvement in causing a David Flair-Billy Kidman affair that would fuel WCW Nitro for a time. Outside of the ring, Wilson is a fitness model who routinely posts shots of her slaying in leggings. Even if she’s covering up more in retirement than she did during her Diva days, Torrie Wilson remains a certified blonde ‘bombshell.
4 Stacy Keibler (WWE Diva/Model)
Torrie Wilson’s partner-in-crime (and real-life close friend) during the Invasion years, and possessor of Legs, Stacy Keibler would eventually go on to feud with Wilson several times during their respective WWE careers. Keibler’s legs continue to garner attention in her post-wrestling career, having been called “The Weapon of Mass Seduction” during her appearance on Dancing with the Stars. A former Baltimore Ravens cheerleader, Keibler actually moved to LA with Wilson in 2014. Having dated George Clooney for two years (a woman’s doing something right when she winds up on GC’s radar), Keibler wound up marrying Jared Pobre, the CEO of Future Ads. Together, they have one daughter. Even pregnant, Keibler looks damn fine.
3 Alexa Bliss (WWE Diva)
Out with the old and in with the new. Bliss represents the new era of WWE Women’s Wrestling. Bliss is already a Women’s Champion and has shown the ability to play both the heel and baby face roles for the promotion. Getting her start in NXT back in 2013, Bliss would spend four years there before being transferred to the main roster in April 2017. From there, she would go on to win the Women’s Championship shortly after. Prior to her success in the ring, Bliss was a bodybuilder and actually credits her love for it as the main reason she was able to overcome a life-threatening eating disorder as a teenager. Along with finding happiness and success, Bliss found her love of leggings and lulus, for which we are also thankful.
2 Alex Morgan (Soccer)
A darling on the pitch, Alex Morgan has made 134 appearances for the US Women’s National Team, scoring 80 goals. She’s also the first woman to grace the cover of a FIFA video game, sharing the 2016 cover with Lionel Messi (for copies sold in the United States). On top of her athletic accomplishments, with also include a 2012 Olympic Gold Medal; Morgan is an accomplished author, having written The Kicks, a four-part series for middle schoolers. It was later adapted as a live-action comedy series and began airing on Amazon Prime in 2015, under the same name. Morgan is also a member of the Common Goal Campaign, created by fellow soccer star Juan Mata. As a member of the campaign, Morgan donates 1% of her wages to support soccer-related charities.
1 The Bella Twins (WWE Divas)
It’s very difficult to pick a no.1 for this list, so I’m basing this selection solely on the fact of there being TWO Bellas instead of just one. When not pregnant or suffering from serious injuries, Brie & Nikki Bella possess two of the nicest badonkadonks (as a somewhat relevant aside, did anybody know this song existed? You really can write a country song about anything…)
The Bellas had a lengthy run atop the women’s division, highlighted by numerous mid-match ‘switcheroos’ to snatch victories from opponents, Nikki’s record setting 301-day title reign and of course their sisterly feud culminating in Brie having to become Nikki’s personal assistant after losing their match at Hell in a Cell where must-watch television. Both have seemingly moved on from wrestling, but still use the WWE for its promotional reach and marketing influence. Brie is now a mother and their lives are chronicled in the show Total Bellas (an spin-off of Total Divas), which airs on E! Let’s hope the cameras are rolling when one, or both, go to yoga class.
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