A few short days ago, the 2015 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition was published. Plenty of people didn't even notice, while others, such as those who have yet to discover the plethora of the internet and those who simply like such yearly publications, flocked to make their purchase. This year's issue features tennis star Caroline Wozniacki, MMA goddess Ronda Rousey and, on the cover, Hannah Davis.
Davis is a ten. She has worked very hard and eaten very little to get and stay that way. In her cover photo, she is in a bikini and is giving a slight two-handed tug to the bottom half of the said swimsuit. Another inch, maybe inch and a half and then we'd really be talking, but Sports Illustrated likes to keep it classy, which they did. Nothing beyond PG-13 was seen and all male readers were happy, but not too happy. A glorious day was had by all... or was it?
Nope, not even close. Concerned parents, confused feminists, and talking heads on news networks all started to spontaneously combust, claiming that the tug had gone too far and saying that they didn't want such things published. Davis herself is a fan of her own work, saying that picture in particular was "not that naughty." I tend to agree. There is plenty more she could have shown off, and as many have already said: we did not actually see anything.
All the people who are shouting "exploitation" and "objectification" seem to be forgetting a couple of important facts. First off, Hannah Davis is a model. Second, nobody put a gun up to her head and forced her to slightly lower her drawers. Also, there have been far more "naughty" pictures in the history of SI. "Dirty" or "naughty" can essentially be defined as being as close as possible to showing off assets, whether the valley in the south or the hills in the north.
With each picture I will try to explain exactly why it is as "dirty" or "dirtier" than the 2015 cover, but even if you disagree, just enjoy the beautiful women wearing next to nothing, that's what this is really all about.
13 Brooklyn Decker
This picture is tough to say whether it is as dirty or dirtier than this year's cover, but in essence it's the same thing. A gorgeous woman is in a two-piece and she's playing around with the bottom part. There are plenty of other pictures of Brooklyn Decker (one of SI's best of all time by the way), some are her topless, while others just feature her looking intensely hot in some exotic locale. But anyway, this is just the tip of one hot iceberg.
12 Genevieve Morton
Between music videos, magazine shoots with The Lonely Island, and of course, several straight years in the swimsuit issue, since 2010, the South African beauty is making her mark on the world. And what a mark it is. With regard to this picture, look for yourself, 2015's cover picture was just a girl adjusting her bathing suit, while Genevieve Morton appears to be in the process of taking it off. Isn't that more scandalous? We aren't sure, none of this seems wrong to us by any stretch of the imagination...
11 May Andersen
Andersen is 32 now, which makes her a "veteran" in the modelling business. She also has a kid now, apparently, and we aren't sure what childbirth does to a modelling career. Along with several appearances in the swimsuit edition, she was a Victoria's Secret model for years and was on the cover of Playboy back in 2012.
Her picture is just another day at the office for the swimsuit issue, as she, much likeother models, is playing with her bikini. Nobody lost their mind when she was in the process of removing her bikini.
10 Veronika Varekova
At this point, it is pretty much common knowledge that Czech women are some of the most beautiful on Earth. Ms Varekova is no exception, in fact she is pretty much the poster-girl of Czech beauty. In the picture we chose for our little experiment, she is topless. You cannot see a top to that bikini and on top of that there is major side action going on. We are seeing more in this picture that can be considered "racy" than can be seen on 2015's cover. Not that anyone is complaining...
9 Izabel Goulart
This Brazilian stunner is one of the most well known names in the business, having worked for many major designers including Chanel, Dolce and Gabbana and Victoria's Secret. She was featured in the 2011 swimsuit issue, and in the picture you can see...that's a see-through top. Obviously the lower half is covered, but give the top a good look and you can see exactly half of what you want to see. We think that's...just great, but if we weren't all so laid back, we might have a problem with it.
8 Molly Sims
Another one of the most famous models in the world, Molly Sims was a five timer in the swimsuit edition, appearing in the early 2000's, and then again in 2006. This picture is from her 2004 photo-shoot and well, there's no other way to put this, she is straddling a fence. If that isn't some kind of dirty imagery, then I don't know what is. In all honesty, that isn't a complaint at all, it's just a delighted observation.
7 Pania Rose
No list of beautiful women is complete without at least one Aussie. Ladies and gentlemen, (mostly the gentlemen) I give you Pania Rose from Perth. Other than working with nearly a dozen magazines, she graced the pages of the 2006 swimsuit issue. There are a few awesome pictures we'd like to bring to your attention, such as the one where she is topless and swinging her bikini top on one finger, another in which she is doing a crab-walk (because that isn't dirty when done by a model), but none more than this. She's lying topless on a beach with her bikini top behind her and covering up with one arm.
6 Bar Refaeli
She is a 29 year old super model from Israel, and she's absolutely stunning. She's graced the cover of Sports Illustrated's Swimsuit Edition in the past and was ranked#1 on Maxim's hottest 100 people for 2012. While there are a few unbelievable pictures of this goddess, in the one we selected she is in the middle of taking her top off. Unless we're losing our minds, that has to be similarly bad (or worse) than slightly adjusting your bottoms. But then again, maybe we're losing our minds.
5 Julie Henderson
When I first saw this picture I thought, "oh, I guess that pose isn't anything new or shocking after all?!" Take a good long look at it, it's the same pose as Hannah Davis did for this year's issue. It's not shocking, it's barely even art, it's something much better than art. This gorgeous bombshell from Houston is most widely known for her multiple swimsuit edition appearances but continues to work for other designers and other products.
4 Tyra Banks
There it is again! Same pose, fingers slightly inside the outer strings, a slight tug and a very subtle hint of what we all know is going on underneath. Hannah Davis just a but thinner than Tyra and Julie Henderson, and she was leaning forward a bit, so that is why there were a few more "lines and shadows" at work. She did nothing wrong, that pose is a staple of the swimsuit edition.
3 Ashley Greene
Well, dear friends, we have now entered a neighborhood that I like to call "body paint alley." It's just as magical as "Diagon Alley" from the Harry Potter books. The following couple of pictures will feature models who appeared in body paint for the swimsuit issue. Ashley Greene was apparently in something called Twilight, but don't talk about it, all you need to know is "body paint."
2 Lauren Mellor
Another South African beauty, Lauren Mellor is a model from Johannesburg who got the body paint treatment. It was pretty much perfect. This is a great example of one of the simplest ideas behind body paint, if you look closely and believe in yourself, you'll get at least a glimpse of everything you want to see.
1 Marisa Miller
This had to be the grand finale, there was simply no choice. Some people lost their minds about Hannah Davis, but Marisa Miller, God bless her, she's wearing nothing but an Ipod, headphones and bracelets. The bottom line is: SI has done this before and nobody should have even blinked. Either way, the gorgeous Californian in the Ipod wins the gold medal any day! Hannah Davis is just the most recent, and good for her for standing up for her work, she's a stunner too, but Marisa Miller, has the "naughtiest" SI swimsuit picture of all time.