The apocalypse is a subject of great interest among writers, filmmakers, and artists alike. Everybody has their own vision of what a post-apocalyptic world may look like once human civilization has fallen and all that is left are the broken-down reminders of what life on Earth once was before the zombies or the nuclear war or the alien invasion or the cybernetic uprising or whatever else may have caused the great apocalyptic disaster.
The end of days are predicted regularly by conspiracy theorists, crackpot radio hosts, internet messiahs, and the disillusioned defectives who await the end of the world with eagerness and are riddled with disappointment when their sworn prophesy fails to come true. It is the psychological disorder of our society that is truly fascinating and frightening.
If you're a rationalist then you know that you will not witness any sort of apocalypse during your lifetime. Society sure has its ills but we are far from George Orwell's vision in Nineteen Eighty-Four. There is no immediate dystopia to fear but rather the disenchantment of young minds. The future is not an imagined war zone but an electronic wasteland.
The worry of this world should focus less on its destruction and more on its intellectual improvement. The world will eventually end as it is meant to end; naturally – but that's all science and reality. The purpose of this article is to oppose the realm of reality as we explore the idea of a post-apocalyptic world and the athletes who could live within these new social confines.
There will be no specific cause to our post-apocalyptic world. In fact, let's just consider it a melting-pot of doom and destruction. The end has come and there are few left to forage the remains of our intrepid planet. The athletes who have survived must now fend for themselves in world without illumination.
These are the top 15 athletes who could survive in a post-apocalyptic world:
15 15. Stephanie Gilmore
One distinct possibility of an “apocalyptic” world is the coming of a great flood. This, of course, a result of global warming and not a second go-round of Noah's Ark.
Should the planet ever become a malicious and marvelous never-ending water park, one athlete who will fair well for herself would be six-time world champion professional surfer, Stephanie Gilmore. The Australian tamer of waves could navigate her way through our new wicked water world with the general finesse she displays while out on the ocean.
14 14. Michael Phelps
In keeping with our new flooded existence, another athlete prone to excel in the water is the Olympic medal record holder, Michael Phelps.
Phelps is a born natural in the water and has decimated all competition in virtually every pool he has ever swam. Phelps would adjust to our new social environment and live out the remainder of his days as some sort of paraphyletic man.
As for fellow swimmer Ryan Lochte, we can assume that he would be eaten early on by an underwater creature.
13 13. Tiger Woods
Should the aliens or zombies inherit the plant and set out to find the remaining able-bodied human beings, one person they may have trouble finding would be Tiger Woods.
The greatest golfer on the planet would no longer have use for his bag of clubs which could then suffice as a sack of weapons to help fend off any attacks from anything non-human. However, Woods may never need to resort to physical combat as he may prove hard to locate.
Tiger Woods has seemingly mastered the art of sneaking around, which of course leads to no matrimonial gains but could prove useful in an invaded civilization.
12 12. The Williams Sisters
The only pair to make our post-apocalyptic collection are the Williams sisters, Venus and Serena. The fierce tennis playing siblings have long been feared and revered on the tennis court. Their passionate play would transfer into a passionate survival instinct in a world of decay.
The sisters are powerful and take no prisoners when involved in a tennis match. Therefore, we must conclude that any type of invading entities would surely struggle in capturing the Williams sisters.
11 11. Peyton Manning
Peyton Manning has done almost everything a quarterback can do during his NFL career. The debate regarding who is the greatest QB of all time is often scattered, although Manning could very well fit that distinction.
In a world gone wrong, Peyton Manning would survive strictly because he is Peyton Manning and that is just the way things work out when you're Peyton Manning. Break his neck, relocate him, stack the deck against him; somehow he will still come out on top and better than before.
Peyton could even hide Eli in a deserted Papa John's restaurant somewhere and hope that his little brother can find a way to survive the apocalypse.
10 10. Rachel Homan
The top female curler in the world today is a young woman by the name of Rachel Homan. The lone Canadian to make our list has represented the Great White North with pride and humility over the past few years. So, how exactly does that apply to surviving in a post-apocalyptic world?
The thought process of a curler is always thinking ahead to the next shot and final stone. This is a great attribute to have when everyone else is in a state of panic. Homan also has touch and precision down to a science, useful skills when rebuilding a civilization.
9 9. Wladimir Klitschko
You may notice that in woks of fiction, the zombies are often shot in the head in order to kill them off. Well, no firearm would be necessary in a post-apocalyptic that was still inhabited by world champion heavyweight boxer Wladimir Klitschko.
The big Ukrainian and his hard-hitting boxing style could prove fatal to any and all incoming threats against humanity. Klitschko is a large man and would easily detected by invaders, so he would have to remain on his toes and ready to fight at all times.
8 8. LeBron James
LeBron James is no stranger to struggle having grown up in some harsh environments. However, James turned his struggles around and grew up to become the best basketball player in the world.
In a post-apocalyptic world, James would thrive in the face of adversity and overcome the struggle of our new civilization. James may even rule in some capacity, in some corner of the battered planet. “All hail King James,” those who remain will shout.
LeBron James may serve as social savior amid the disoriented dystopia.
7 7. Schalk Burger
The post-apocalyptic world would be a breeze to navigate for the hard-working, dynamic, psychical powerhouse, South African rugby player, Schalk Burger.
Playing rugby as a profession requires a great deal of strength, guts, and fortitude. Burger is a world renowned player with a robust style of play that could translate well when society has fallen victim to catastrophe and chaos.
Schalk Burger seems like the type of man who would unwieldy fit into the mess of the masses.
6 6. Brian Wilson
Brian Wilson already looks like he has been scavenging the Earth for a number of years as a modern-day caveman, so without all basic necessitates, we can assume that Wilson would manage to sustain a comfortable living in a post-apocalyptic world.
Wilson is perhaps the most eccentric ball player in the major leagues and has even laid claims of being a ninja – another useful set of skills that could aid a man whilst he drifts along through the shattered pieces of yesterday.
5 5. Ronda Rousey
Ronda Rousey, one of the toughest women on planet Earth and the current UFC Women's Bantamweight Champion, could beat up more men than most of the men you and I know.
In a post-apocalyptic world, Rousey could rise to the ranks of an alpha-female. Fighting for all that remains and all that she needs in order to survive – a vicious vixen who lacks any knowledge of fear or self-consciousness.
The rabble-rousing Ronda Rousey, Queen of the damned world.
4 4. Manuel Neuer
In every post-apocalyptic world there needs to be a keeper of sorts and who better than German goalkeeper, Manuel Neuer? The recent winner of the FIFA World Cup and recipient of the Golden Glove award for best goalkeeper in the tournament.
Neuer is known as a “sweeper-keeper” due to his unique style of play. With quick reflexes and superb shot-stopping ability, Neuer is in constant command of his area of the field. In a world of lost hope and downtrodden dreams, Neuer could be the final defender of civilized sanctuary.
3 3. Brock Lesnar
Brock Lesnar has become known as a conqueror, in the wrestling world nonetheles, but “The Beast Incarnate” is so much more than a wrestler.
Lesnar is a former UFC Heavyweight champion, an avid outdoorsman who is a sufficiently skilled hunter, and an all-around badass. The apocalypse can't harm Brock, it is Brock who would harm the apocalypse.
Hopefully Lesnar would have the good graces to help Paul Heyman adjust to his new environment.
2 2. Usain Bolt
The Jamaican sprinter Usain Bolt is widely regarded as the fastest person ever. Think about that for a second. Not the fastest person alive today – the fastest person ever (of course, this is no real way to determine such a fact but the concept is remarkable).
In a post-apocalyptic world, Bolt would rely on his lightning fast speed to outrun any and all impending doom. However, his existence in the newly torn world may be a lonely one, as Bolt could run miles ahead of the pack, leaving behind any remnants of human companionship.
1 1. Alexander Ovechkin
The end of our end-of-the-world style list comes down to one athlete, the Russian superstar, Alexander Ovechkin. Choosing a hockey player as the top entry seemed fitting enough, as hockey players are tough, versatile, and full of grit.
Choosing the great #8 over the rest of the league is in part due to his unbridled enthusiastic ice presence. Ovechkin seems like he would welcome an apocalypse with open arms and view the end times as just another challenge – just another game. Think about Ovechkin wiring slap-shots at the Earth invaders, goofy smile and all.
Alexander Ovechkin is perfect for the post-apocalypse as he would not take any of it too seriously. Life would be existential and euphoric all at once and it is because of this that he would survive.
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