It’s hard to imagine professional athletes as anything other than calm and collected individuals who feel completely at ease once competition begins. Looks can be deceiving, however, and behind every steely thousand-yard stare there is often a bladder that is just quivering with anxiety and threatening to empty at any given moment. It doesn’t help matters much that every athlete is constantly being told to hydrate over and over again, causing even the staunchest of bladders to feel overloaded to the point of bursting in an instant.
While it may seem like the unlikeliest of events to occur on the field of athletic competition, a staggering number of athletes have been forced to relieve themselves during play. Some chalk it up to nerves, others to overhydration, but it is a common occurrence nonetheless. So it shouldn’t be too surprising that former Baltimore Ravens defensive tackle Tony Siragusa is now representing Depend for Men given the familiarity the Goose ostensibly had with men urinating themselves while on the field.
Of course, Siragusa’s pitch for the Depend brand is actually quite honorable, as the products the company sells are often geared toward men who experience leakage due to prostate issues caused by cancer. During Siragusa’s playing career, the grown men urinating themselves on the football field were not doing so because of a medical issue, but instead were emptying their bladders as a matter of convenience. As one of the athletes on this list has said in NFL Unplugged, "You're drenched in sweat anyway. What does it matter? By the time warm-ups are over, you're overhydrating and you're drenched. It's clear. It's not urine. What's the big deal?" The 15 athletes on this list also agreed with the sentiment that it is indeed no big deal when it comes to urinating during competition.
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15 Koy Detmer
Several former members of the Philadelphia Eagles had unique methods for urinating during the middle of the game. Necessity being the mother of invention, football players are probably among the most innovative when it comes to ways to deal with bladder issues due to the fact that their locker rooms are so far from the field of play. Detmer, the former Eagles quarterback, remedied his need to relieve himself during games by pissing into a bottle in the ice shanty that was kept on the team’s sideline.
14 Natalya Neidhart
The WWE Diva lost control of her bladder during a match, an incident that was relayed to Jon Cena by his girlfriend and Diva Nikki Bella. During an episode of Total Divas, Bella tells Cena of the incident, saying, “Did you hear about Nattie? She peed her pants in her match, a lot!" Cena, unfazed, went on to relate to the incident by telling Bella about the time he had food poisoning so bad that he crapped his pants and vomited underneath the ring during a match.
13 Henry Walker
Walker, perhaps better known as Bill Walker during his time in the NBA, recently resurfaced in the league with the Miami Heat as Henry Walker. Perhaps he decided to make the change in an effort to hide the fact that he once peed into a few hand towels while still on the Kansas State bench during a collegiate game. The fact that Walker did this without much effort at hiding what he was doing led to fans holding up signs that read “Bill Walker Pisses Excellence.”
12 Nick Brophy
While Brophy is a fictional character played by former pro hockey player John Gofton, he makes the cut due to the hilarity of the scene in which he appears in the classic hockey film Slap Shot. Brophy comes to center ice and immediately tells Reg Dunlop (Paul Newman) that he is drunk and will piss himself if he is checked into the boards. Of course, Brophy is checked into the boards shortly thereafter, and he skates slowly away while trying to obscure the fact that he just pissed himself just as he had said he would.
11 Greg Monroe
Monroe’s pissing incident didn’t happen during a game, but his ranks up there as one of the most embarrassing on this list. According to MLive.com, after Monroe was arrested for impaired driving by Huntington Woods Police, the police released additional information regarding the Pistons forward's arrest that added another layer of embarrassment to the incident, as the police report included the fact that Monroe “urinated on himself during the booking process.”
10 Avondale Rugby Player
It’s one thing to urinate yourself during competition because of a nervous bladder or due to the fact that your bladder is simply full, but it is a whole other level of strange when the urinating is done intentionally for the purpose of gaining a competitive advantage. Apparently, an Avondale rugby player was accused of doing just that by an opposing team, as the President of the Wollongong Vikings suggested that the Avondale player “peed in his pants or has applied some liquid to that area of his shorts so as to provide the same inference," according to The Daily Telegraph.
9 Jon Ritchie
The former NFL fullback had an entirely different view of urinating on the field, regarding it as not just normal but also completely healthy. After noting that he was drenched in sweat anyway, Ritchie relayed that he was so hydrated that he was merely urinating water and that it was not something to get all that worked up about. What was the reason for Ritchie constantly urinating himself on the field? A bag he kept that included, “Seven bottles of water in it at all times. I took it with me everywhere. I was always completely bloated. Always sloshing around in my stomach. I heard somewhere that was when your body was in peak condition. I think everyone is obsessive about something. I just didn't want to pull something blocking a guy.” With that level of water consumption, it should come as no surprise that Ritchie was a frequent on-field urinator.
8 Every Surfer Ever
Any surfer who has ever donned a wetsuit while surfing in cold water knows the guilty pleasure of a good pee session while braving chilly ocean waves. The warming effect is quite nice, and the fact that the surrounding water whisks the urine away relatively quickly cuts down on the inherent nastiness of the act. There is one downside to advancing wetsuit technology, however, as newer suits are becoming a bit too efficient at keeping urine trapped inside the suit, and no one wants to bathe in their own urine for any extended period of time.
7 Jeff Garcia
Garcia tried to use Henry Walker’s method of sideline urination during his first season in the NFL, but didn’t have too much luck doing it. While Walker succeeded in relieving himself on the sideline, Garcia had a very different experience, one that he relayed in NFL Unplugged, saying, "My first year in the league, I tried the towel thing. It was in a preseason game. Second half. I figured, ‘Well, I'll try it with a towel. Just pee into the towel.' I had to go pretty bad. As soon as I felt the warm pee touch my leg, I shut it down. I said, ‘I can't do this.' It's just nasty. I couldn't follow through with it. Players try all sorts of tricks to relieve themselves out there.”
6 Iditarod Mushers
Mushers in the world’s most famous sled-dog race are so focused on the efficient use of time that they have taken to using a product that is literally called “Pee Pants.” The Iditarod, a 1,150-mile endurance race, requires razor-sharp focus and winning the event means finding creative ways to cut down on time, including eliminating as many bathroom stops as possible. The Pee Pants product allows the musher to urinate in their pants without getting wet, which could be quite disastrous given the frigid temperatures they frequently experience during the race.
5 Moises Alou
Alou is another player who falls into the intentional urinating category, but the rationale Alou gave for pissing on himself is perhaps the most absurd of anyone appearing on this list. Alou chose to piss on his own hands, and he did so because he believed that his urine would help him toughen up his hands, believing so resolutely in this method that he credits the practice with helping him to bat .303 over the course of his 17-year MLB career. Alou is apparently not the only baseball player to use this particular practice, as there are several other well-known ballplayers who have adopted this routine.
4 Kerry Wood
Wood, the former Cubs fireballer and a teammate of Alou’s, apparently also believed that urine could be something of a cure-all, using his own urine to relieve blisters that cropped up on his throwing hand. But Wood and Alou are not the only believers, as former Yankees catcher Jorge Posada went so far as to offer fair warning to those around him, saying, "You don't want to shake my hand during spring training."
3 Mark Schlereth
It only makes sense that the man who owns the nickname “Stink” would appear on this list. Schlereth has been at the center of many nasty lineman stories, and part of the reason he earned his nickname had to do with his penchant for frequently pissing his pants. In NFL Unplugged, Schlereth, a native of Alaska, explained how he came to be called “Stink” in an article with Deadspin, saying, "I was telling them about stinkhead (an Eskimo dish in Alaska) and it just so happened I regularly peed my pants. Pretty much every game I did. I was already drenched in sweat so it was no real difference to me. So later the nickname got shortened to just Stink. Hey — I was miserable anyhow out on the field, I wasn't going to hold it in and become even more miserable."
2 Wayne Gretzky
There are many reasons that the 1987 Canada Cup is still remembered by fans and players alike, and Game 2 is certainly one that is particularly memorable. After all, the exhibition was one that saw Gretzky and Mario Lemieux playing together on the same line. Gretzky, who considers Game 2 among the greatest games he has ever played, can simultaneously claim the game as one of his most embarrassing due to the fact that The Great One pissed himself on Team Canada’s bench during the game. Gretzky, apparently so exhausted during the game’s first overtime, couldn’t control his muscles to such a degree that he urinated himself just before being called upon by the team’s coaches. He entered the game without saying a word about the incident, waiting until after the game to tell his teammates.
1 Channing Crowder
Crowder, a former NFL linebacker who played six seasons with the Miami Dolphins, pissed himself every single game of his career without fail and was quite proud with himself for having done so. Crowder, speaking to NFL Films, happily revealed his weekly Sunday ritual: “I peed down my leg during any game. I never went to the bathroom in a toilet. Six years straight I peed down my leg. I would just be in the huddle and just pee. You wouldn’t even notice. Nobody in the stands would know unless you look down like, ‘That’s not water man!'”
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