Professional sportsman...now there's the life. You wake up every day, maybe go to the gym, then head down to the training ground for a session of tackling, kicking a soccer ball, working on your slider or just trying to hit a baseball so hard it breaks through the batting cage. Then you head home and go out to dinner with your endless supply of currency. Maybe head to a club after that where you'll be looked after in the VIP room, indulging all the perks and benefits that entails. All the while you're surrounded by an entourage who are forever at your beck and call.
On the weekends you head back to the stadium and play a game in front of tens of thousands of screaming fans, all who revere you as a god simply because you're good at controlling a puck, or picking apart a secondary, or pile driving a round ball into the back of a net. Then you repeat the process... fancy restaurant, some more partying and return to your mansion. On top of your athletic career, you'll get endorsement deals and maybe even a small TV/movie career.
Certainly not the worst existence going around, but let's be honest for a moment. It's all a bit of a fantasy world really. Most of us spent our lives slogging through school, and now we're stuck in 9-to-5 office jobs staring at a computer for 40 hours a week. Some of us have manual labor, be it laying brick, wiring buildings, cleaning toilets or butchering cattle. The professional athlete doesn't tend to bother with any of this. They were paraded at school for their sporting talents, then whisked away on a scholarship so they could pursue their perfect career full time without letting a pesky little day job get in the way. Can you imagine Tom Brady delivering your mail every morning? Or Lebron James cruising around in a dump truck taking away your trash? Neither can we. While there are plenty of athletes who had tough lives before stardom and had to struggle for a long time, there are plenty who are just flat out living a fantasy life.
Here are 15 athletes that wouldn't last a day in the real world.
15 Mike Tyson
14 Emmanuel Adebayor
13 Triple H
12 John Terry
11 Ugueth Urbina
10 Peter Crouch
9 Sebastian Vettel
8 Floyd Mayweather Jr.
7 Oscar Pistorius
6 Todd Carney
5 Mario Balotelli
We're not sure what kind of warped reality Mario Balotelli believes he lives in, but it sure as hell isn't anything close to resembling the real world. After only a year living in England, he managed to have his luxury car impounded 27 times. It wasn't uncommon for Balotelli to drive out to dinner and just leave his car parked on double yellow lines. During that first year her also racked up 300,000 pounds in club imposed fines.
4 Ray Lewis
Would Ray Lewis be in jail if he wasn't a former NFL superstar? By the year 2000 Lewis had already established himself as one of the best linebackers in the NFL. Early that year after a Super Bowl party, Lewis and his friends were involved in a fight which resulted in two stabbing deaths. Lewis and two mates were eventually charged with murder, although a lack of evidence aided their defense.
The white and allegedly bloodstained suit Lewis was wearing that night has never been found, nor were there any fingerprints recovered from the knife located near the scene by investigators. Blood from one of the victim's was found in Lewis's vehicle but two weeks into the trial Lewis negotiated a plea agreement where he pleaded guilty to the lesser charge of obstructing justice in exchange for testimony against his two companions.
3 Lance Armstrong
Let me tell you a story about a young journalist named Lance. Lance was always talented and slowly but surely worked his way to the top of his newspaper. For seven years in a row at the peak of his powers he won international awards for excellent journalistic output. During his reign as the best in the world, Lance often faced allegations of plagiarism given the standard of his work was the best we'd ever seen. But Lance always strongly denied the allegations until one day a federal investigation proved Lance was guilty. It accused Lance of leading "The most sophisticated, professionalized and successful plagiarism" program the industry had seen.
2 Michael Vick
Michael Vick burst onto the NFL scene after Atlanta picked him up at number one in the 2001 draft. He was the fastest ever quarterback over 40 yards, and an instant hit with Madden users across the world. His left arm wasn't bad either when it came to throwing the ball.
1 Luis Suarez
Modern society is not one of cannibalism, so you're never going to hear the following exchange between company CEO and middle management:
CEO: "How's that new financial analyst Luis going in his first week?"
Middle management: "Oh he's brilliant, the best man with numbers I've ever seen. There's just one little problem."
CEO: "Oh yeah, what's that?"
Middle management: "He keeps running around biting everyone."
In the real world, that would lead to a sacking and most likely very limited future job prospects. Possibly even some time in prison. When you're as talented a soccer player as Suarez things are different. The chomping Uruguayan bit Italian defender Giorgio Chiellini at last year's World Cup. It was the third time he'd been caught doing just that at professional level. Not even a month later he signed with his favorite boyhood club Barcelona. That'd be like me biting my way out of Silicon Valley to a plum position at Google.
Leave A Comment
Looking for an AD FREE EXPERIENCE on TheSportster?Get Your Free Access Now!