If soccer players can get gorgeous women, hockey players must be able to get hotties who are at least one level above gorgeous, whatever that is. After all, hockey is a lot like soccer: the goal is to get an object into a net. The difference is, while soccer players fall on the ground and pretend to have been shot when a ball hits them, hockey players commonly play through broken bones and lacerations.
No offense to soccer players, it’s impressive that you can run around for 90 minutes and pretend to care, and that ridiculous paycheck is nice, but hockey players are the real men in this debate. But enough about diving and crying experts, we’re here to talk about the hottest women that hockey players have bedded. Admittedly, it’s an impressive list. Anyone who has ever been in a bar with friends who are hockey players, even in the minors, can tell you they have a confidence that surpasses that of even other athletes.
It can’t be defined as simple arrogance, but rather a jovial cockiness combined with almost annoying positivity and a language all their own. If you don’t know hockey language, here’s an example: “buds, if that duster keeps chirpin’ you out there, I’ll drop the mitts and have that plug spittin’ chiclets for a week.” This is loosely translated as “hey man, if that loser from the other team keeps running his mouth, I’ll knock him out and cause him to lose some teeth.” This was a poor example and barely even scratches the surface of hockey lingo (it’s been ages since I played or hung out with those people) but you get the idea, hockey players are a unique and awesome group. It is no wonder they are able to generally get a special caliber of woman. Here are fifteen of the most stunning women pro hockey players have ever wheeled.
15. Gena Lee Nolin
While this former Baywatch goddess may be on her way out in terms of being hot, she still looks great at age 45 and was one of the hottest women of the 1990s. She is married to Cale Hulse, a former NHL defenseman who played about a decade worth of pro hockey for five different teams between the 1995-96 and 2005-06 seasons. He was pretty unremarkable on the ice but could deliver a hit and topped 20 points in a season twice. Not pitiful for a big guy playing defense. Whether you respect him as a player is irrelevant though, because he scored himself apiece of world class iconic 1990s tail.
14. Madison Hauck
You may not have heard heard of this stunner before, but Madison Hauck is reportedly engaged to New Jersey Devils winger Stefan Matteau. She works as a model and has an Instagram page that is pretty phenomenal. Her husband-to-be is still be trying to carve out a niche with the Canadiens, having played just 55 games in his three years since being drafted by the Devils. With that said, however, he’s living the dream when it comes to women.
13. Hilary Duff
Formerly the quintessential jailbait teen, Hilary Duff has blossomed into an irritating singer with a slightly less awful acting resume. Seriously though, she’s gorgeous and may well be a decent person, but a single episode role on Two and a Half Men may well be the highlight of her career. Has she ever done anything good?
Oh well, moving on from my tirade, she married Mike Comrie back in 2010, and even if you’re a fan of neither of them, you probably saw what many in the media thought were pictures of her giving him an outdoor-Lewinsky on a hotel balcony after his proposal.
12. Petra Volakova
There really isn’t much info about this lovely woman, outside of the fact that she may have been a minor celebrity back in the Czech Republic, and is married to New Jersey Devils forward and legend, Patrik Elias. They’ve been married since 2007 and have one daughter.
11. Willa Ford
You may know her from her music career, you may know her from her from a dozen or so TV and movie appearances, but chances are, you’re a filthy animal and you know the name Willa Ford because she posed in Playboy back in March, 2006. A year later, she married former Dallas Stars captain and one of the greatest American hockey players of all time, Mike Modano. They divorced a few years later and Modano went on to remarry a golfer, Allison Micheletti.
10. Lindsey Vecchione
Three-time Stanley Cup winner and current captain of the Chicago Blackhawks, Jonathan Toews, is having a professional career that is as impressive as any in the league today. He has a girlfriend that we can pretty much say the same about. Lindsay Vecchione is a model, hairstylist and played safety for the Chicago Bliss of the Lingerie Football League back in 2009. This is one heck of a resume, Toews has a real gem here.
9. Lucie Vondrackova
Lucie Vondrackova is the second Czech on our list and we’re starting to think they’re putting something in the water over there. This may not be a household name throughout much of the world, but in the Czech Republic, Vondrackova is a national treasure. She acts, on television, in movies and on stage, and has released over ten albums. She is married to Montreal Canadiens’ center Tomas Plekanec.
8. Paulina Gretzky
The daughter of The Great One has to be on this list. Her rise to fame started as a singer in the early 2000s and as she aged she got into modelling and is widely considered one of the hottest women on the face of the Earth. She had a kid last year and is married to PGA Tour golfer Dustin Johnson. Before that however, she dated Jarret Stoll, who played for the Los Angeles Kings back in 2012 (he’s now with the Minnesota Wild, averaging a point every two or so weeks). They broke up after a few months together, and he went on to marry journalist/hottie Erin Andrews. So given that she is listed in this entry, we can call this one a two-in-one, with Erin Andrews and Paulina Gretzky having shacked up with Stoll. Good for him.
7. Anna Kournikova
Russian tennis Goddess Anna Kournikova was third of an interesting love triangle involving two of the best Russian hockey stars of the early 2000s. In short, she dated Pavel Bure for a while, and then Sergei Fedorov, and some sources seem to think at one point she was dating both of them. Others claim she was married to/engaged to one or both of them. It was a big mess and clearly it turned her off hockey players, because she went on to marry a “singer,” Enrique Iglesias. This is only a step up in the world if you like high pitched men with a hair cut that looks like that of a preteen boy.
6. Carrie Underwood
An American Idol winner from over a decade ago, Carrie Underwood has managed to stay relevant, successful and talented, and bagged a pro hockey player. We’d say good for her, but Mike Fisher is the lucky one in that relationship. She’s basically a farmer’s daughter who also has tens of millions of dollars. They had their first kid in early 2015. As someone who lives in Ottawa, Canada, nobody can blame Fisher for moving to Nashville with his incredible looking wife, Ottawa is a dreadful place.
5. Elisha Cuthbert
In previous articles, I’ve referred to Elisha Cuthbert as the queen of the puck bunnies. She’s currently married to former Leaf Dion Phaneuf, but prior to that relationship she dated Sean Avery, who referred to her as his “sloppy seconds” when her relationship with Phaneuf started, and shortly after she and Avery split up, there was a rumor that she was with Mike Komisarek. She’s one of the hottest women to ever come out of Canada and Phaneuf remains the envy of nearly every Canuck who ever watched her early show Popular Mechanics for Kids.
4. Hilary Rhoda
So with our mention of former hockey sh**-disturber-turned model Sean Avery, we feel it’s necessary to pay heed to the woman he moved on to. Hilary Rhoda is one of the hottest models in the world; made famous by a campaign with Estee Lauder and of course, a few appearances in the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition. She and Avery got married back in 2015.
3. Olivia Munn
While she is currently dating Aaron Rodgers, quarterback of the Green Bay Packers, gorgeous actress Olivia Munn dated centre Brad Richards back in 2011 and 2012. It’s hard to say whether this is an upgrade or not, but Aaron Rodgers does have a pretty solid sense of humor, so that is probably entertaining for her. On the flip side, kudos to both Rodgers and Richards for having dated Olivia Munn…she’s absurdly hot.
2. Inna Puhajkova
Right now, most people can’t stop talking about how impressive it is that Jaromir Jagr is still looking as sharp as he is on the ice in his mid-40s. I’m not that surprised. He’s a hard worker, who takes care of himself, has motivation metaphorically oozing out his ears, and loves the game. But while others focus on his talent on the ice, I’m equally impressed by the talent he’s bedded off the ice.
He’s shacked up with a few Eastern European models and actresses over the years, but his 2006 to 2012 relationship with Ukrainian Inna Puhajkova is probably the most impressive. She remains a television personality in the Czech Republic.
1. Barbie Blank (Kelly Kelly)
If you’re a wrestling fan, you will recognize the second of those names as the stage name of an ECW/WWE diva from 2006 until 2012. She has also worked as a model and back in 2016 she married retired defenseman and slapshot connoisseur Sheldon Souray. This is also a two for one, because Souray was previously married (and had a pair of kids with) to actress and singer Angelica Bridges. The message here is, that Sheldon Souray has married two women who are painfully hot, and if you don’t respect his impressive hockey career, you can at least respect his booty-wrangling ability.
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