There really is no elegant way of saying this but the people who come up with the names for adult films, and especially those that parody pop culture, are some of the most clever, inspiring people out there. Their use of puns, wordplay and exact language rival Shakespeare, Hemingway and Dr. Seuss. Okay, maybe not the Doc, but you get my idea.
For those who aren't familiar, the adult film business will parody just about anything. Obviously movies and television shows are fair game, and usually make good targets. Building on those, the lives of celebrities are usually a good bet for some laughs and insane story lines. Lindsay Lohan, Miley Cyrus and Sarah Palin are just a notable three in terms of celebrities who have been mocked by the business.
Even outside of the world of celebrities, you'd be hard pressed to find a real life scenario or occupation that hasn't been spoofed in the adult film business. The pizza delivery man and the dishwasher repair guy are cliches, television and movies are poked fun at constantly in the industry and sports are no exception. Whether it be scandals, the sports themselves or individual athletes, there is plenty of opportunity for athletic themes in adult films. Enjoy, ya filthy animals.
Click the button below to start this article in quick view
I've always considered dodgeball to be one of those things that was played in gym class back in elementary school, but sadly did not play a bigger role in later life's sports world. I saw a petition a while ago that was aimed at having dodgeball included in the Olympics but I don't think it gathered much momentum.
Dodgeballs is pretty much what it sounds like. After a rough co-ed game in a gymnasium, the participants pair off and it basically turns into a full-on "genital jamboree."
16 Squirts Illustrated
Squirts Illustrated is actually a series that has been periodically added to since it first appeared in 2007. It's a parody of the magazine more than anything, but features some sports themes. The series has been directed by Axel Braun (if you know the business, you know his work) and the first one was called "The P***star Issue."
15 White Men Can't Hump
This flick was made in 1992, right after and obviously based on the comedy White Men Can't Jump, which featured Woody Harrelson as a basketball playing con-man, who tricked unsuspecting African-American ball players who assumed he couldn't play because he was white. The adult parody featured a somewhat similar basketball theme, but with more grunting and moaning.
14 Not Monday Night Football
This is one of the most ridiculous parodies out there. Produced in 2009, the cast of characters includes John Madden and Howard Cosell, along with some sideline reporters and of course, a couple of scenes at a tailgating party. The two announcers obviously offer some play-by-play, which is hilarious, and there is also a parody character named "Manhattan Joe" a famous former quarterback, based on "Broadway" Joe Namath.
13 She Got Game
The studio "Afrocentric" released She Got Game back in 1998 and it is loosely based on the Spike Lee flick He's Got Game. Monique was the star and played a heavily recruited rising star. It's like every other basketball movie out there, but the court ends up slippery from more than just sweat.
12 Bad News B******
The original Bad News B****** came out in 2005 and featured Nautica Thorn and Jenna Haze, playing next to no baseball. The second one came out the year after, and the third was in 2008, with Lexi Belle and now-retired Penny Flame starring, and the fourth and final installment featured Audrey Bitoni and Alexis Texas.
I'll just get this out of the way, this film has nothing to do with the Rodney Dangerfield classic Caddyshack. In fact, it's not even on a golf course. It's a girl in a room using golf equipment the wrong way. I can't say more because, well, there are rules to be followed for publishing for this site. If you want to see an actual parody of Caddyshack, check out 1986's Caddy Shack-Up.
10 Chyna is Queen of the Ring
Joanie Laurer, the real-life Chyna, had an adult film career after she stopped wrestling in WWE. She played a parody version of She-Hulk in an Avenger's Parody, among other roles, but Chyna is Queen of the Ring is the one based around her. She works with adult film versions of Stone Cold Steve Austin, Rick Flair and John Cena (to name just a few) while Lee Stone and Lisa Ann play spoofs of Vince McMahon and Stephanie.
9 Super Ball Sunday
Released back in 1994, a bored wife got fed up with her husband's football obsession and decided the biggest afternoon/evening in football would be a good time to seduce all of them. One has to wonder whether, even if it was Heidi Klum, a group of men would be interested in a women in the middle of the Super Bowl. More interestingly, would those dudes ever be able to hang out again? These are the questions the adult film business completely ignores.
This is one of those parodies that didn't even need to change its name from that of the original. They kept the plot and themes pretty much the same. The rollerblading was there, it was set in the future, and was even released in the same year as the 2002 remake. Speaking of that film, however, this parody was probably better than the 2002 version of the real film.
7 Footballers Wives
This parody was based on a terrible reality television show in Britain that ran from 2002 to 2006, and focused on the daily lives of soccer players' wives. Separated into the first and second halves, the Footballers Wives films were released in 2010 and 2011 and were produced by the European adult company Bluebird.
6 This Ain't ESPN
Released by Hustler, the kings of adult film parodies, This Ain't ESPN is very similar to Not Monday Night Football. Back in 2011, this gem came out, and involved sideline reporters, athletes and anchors including spoofs of Skip Bayless (Skip Payless), Erin Andrews, Jim Rome and of course, a parody version of Danica Patrick doing a GoDaddy.com ad that would never be aired in real life.
5 (At Least) Three Olympic Themed Films
It makes sense that there are so many Olympics themed flicks out there because there are multiple events to make dirty puns about. Olympic Fever and Erotic Olympics were released in the late 1970's and more recently in 2008 there was P***olympics: The A*** Games. The funniest of these was definitely Olympic Fever, in which a hopeful athlete with a protein deficiency gets put on a new diet by a doctor with ulterior motives.
4 Field of Reams/Field of Creams
Based on (possibly, this or The Sandlot) the best baseball movie ever made, Field of Dreams, these two films were released by difference studios and years apart, but with similar themes. 2012's Field of Reams was made by Brazzers and featured superstar Kagney Lynn Karter. These films both bring new meaning to the phrase "if you build it, they will come."
3 Rocky: A Couple of Parodies
Seeing as one of Sylvester Stallone's first film roles was the laugh-fest, softcore The Party at Kitty and Stud's, it makes sense that the adult film business has been making a mockery of the Rocky series ever since. John Holmes played the Italian Stallion in 1986's Rockey X and 2011 brought Rocky XXX. These films were very similar to the real life series but the acting was a bit better.
2 Ronda ArouseMe: Grounded and Pounded
This is a recent one and centers around MMA's golden girl Ronda Rousey. Kleio Valentien plays Ronda ArouseMe, a name the real Rousey had heard before, but amuses her. She said that she heard it as a taunt when in high school and is happy "some girl is now using it to earn a paycheck."
1 Tiger's Good Wood/Tyler's Wood
If there was ever a perfect sports-themed scenario for adult film-makers, it was Tiger Woods' cheating scandal. The athlete who was long considered the epitome of class and the golf world's top gentleman quickly went from an idol to a booty-wrangler, having cheated on his former supermodel wife with over a dozen women. There would be no justice in the world if the adult film business didn't get at least a couple of films out of this. These two movies came out in 2009 and were essentially the same thing: golf puns and ridiculous golf-based scenes.
Leave A Comment
Looking for an AD FREE EXPERIENCE on TheSportster?Get Your Free Access Now!