Your mother always taught you not to judge a book by its cover, but look at you reading this article. I like you already.
Whether it’s because we’ve all watched one two many
pornos episodes of 90210 or because we’re used to seeing the likes of David Beckham and Danica Patrick in half naked endorsement deals, when you hear the word “athlete” you probably picture the good looking jock who slept with your girlfriend in high school. But here’s the kicker, for the most part, athletes don't have to be attractive in order to gain the affection of females (or males), or to make it big at all. Whether you are attractive, average or just plain ugly, have natural born talent and it’s only a matter of time before the groupies flock to you.
The world of professional sports does not discriminate based on appearances, and hell that’s a great thing. While Nike might not be knocking at your door any time soon, if you’re good you’re good. Score the most goals, run the fastest, hit the hardest, and no one cares if you have a face only a mother could love.
Beauty is of course in the eye of the beholder, but most would agree that this bunch was blessed with great talent and shafted on good looks. Then again if you need to write a paragraph explaining why someone is ugly, are they really that ugly? While the hot jocks from high school ended up bagging our groceries, cleaning public toilets and flipping burgers at McDonald's these double baggers are making more money than any of us ever will. So don’t even feel bad about reading this article. I’ll let you judge for yourself. Let the comments roll in, I can already feel the shade, but in the words of the one and only 6 God, if you’re reading this it’s too late. Males, females, no one is off limits, in no particular order, these are the Top 20 Ugliest Athletes. (See you in hell).
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20 Svetlana Kuznetsova
Svetlana Kuznetsova is one of the most successful tennis players in the world. She has had many victories including three Fed Cups with the Russian team and two Grand Slam tournaments. She refuses to participate in the "glam slam" game that many on the WTA tour play and for that we give her props, but finds herself looking like the ugly Russian stepsister when compared to the likes of Sharapova, Kournikova, and Hantuchová.
19 Chris Kaman
Chris Kaman is a professional basketball player who currently plays for the Portland Trail Blazers. In general, NBA players are freaks by nature. Standing at 7 feet Kaman is a pretty freaky dude no matter how long the stringy ginger hair on his head (or face) is kept. Do Chris Kaman a favor and Google image search the video game version of Kaman from NBA 2K8. See now real life Kaman doesn’t look so bad. And don’t feel too sorry for the guy, one look at his wife and you will agree that the guy is clearly punching above his weight.
18 Kyle Busch
Kyle Busch is an American professional stock car racing driver and team owner; he is also one of the top 10 highest paid NASCAR drivers. As one of the most recognizable individuals in NASCAR, Kyle Busch often finds himself in the spotlight. Whether anyone wants to see him there is a whole other story. Keeping with the trend, Busch is married to Samantha Sarcinella, one of the hottest women in the universe.
17 Megumi Fujii
With Ronda Rousey in the headlines as the current ‘It Girl’ of Women’s MMA, Megumi Fujii is easily overlooked, if you ever “looked” at all. Hardly the household name that Rousey has become, Fujii was long considered at one time the best pound-for-pound female fighter in the world. Everyone knows sex sells, evidently this holds true in the world of women’s mixed martial arts.
16 Chris Bosh
A.K.A The Boshtrich A.K.A The Boshasaurus. Poor Chris Bosh tops all the lists, the “ugly lists” that is. He’s also been the star of many lists revolving around the subject “things Chris Bosh looks like”. An American basketball player currently playing for the Heat, Bosh got his start in the NBA as the mascot for the Toronto Raptors. Or something like that. You heard it here first.
15 Popeye Jones
You’re thinking, “why does this guy look so familiar", no this isn’t Shrek. Ronald Jerome "Popeye" Jones is a retired American professional basketball player and is currently an assistant coach for the Pacers. I’m not sure whether to smile at how much this guy looks like a cartoon character or worry that his eyes might actually pop out of his head. No seriously in some pictures of Jones his eyes literally look like they might pop right out of his head.
14 Cristiane Justino
No one known for their good looks has ever been given a nickname like “Cyborg”. Cristiane Justino “Cyborg” Venancio is a Brazilian mixed martial artist currently signed with the UFC. If you follow UFC you’ve most recently seen her name in the headlines for her feud with none other than Ronda Rousey who accused Justino of taking steroids. Not a far-fetched statement considering Justino was suspended in 2011 for just that very reason.
13 Joakim Noah
Joakim Noah currently plays for the Chicago bulls, and from the second he was drafted has given exactly zero f***s as to what he looks like. From the bowtie to the dirty ponytail to the questionable dance moves Noah is one guy who just doesn't give a crap. For that Noah, we have to respect you, but you remain one of the most grotesque players in the NBA.
12 Francesca Schiavone
I am not a tennis fan, won’t even begin to pretend to be, but if there was any chance of me becoming a fan Schiavone squashes it with a combination of the faces she pulls and the sounds she makes when she plays. I mean that in the nicest way possible, if there is a nicest way possible to say that. I was also fairly certain the Italian tennis star was a man and I had to do some serious research before I could put that to rest.
11 Gheorghe Muresan
At 7-foot-7, Gheorghe Muresan is one of the two tallest players in NBA history. I’m not sure how exactly this works, but show me one super ridiculously tall person who doesn’t look a little freaky. A retired Romanian player, Muresan most notably played with the Washington Bullets and the New Jersey Nets. His great height is reportedly the result of a pituitary disorder. Am I an asshole?
10 Sam Cassell
Next on the list, retired NBA star Samuel James "Sam" Cassell Sr. He played for the Rockets, Phoenix Suns, Dallas Mavericks, New Jersey Nets, Milwaukee Bucks, Minnesota Timberwolves, Los Angeles Clippers, and Boston Celtics. However, you might recognize him from his role in a small feature film titled E.T. alongside Drew Barrymore. Whether he’s being compared to an alien or to Gollum of Lord of the Rings, people talk a lot of smack about old Cassell.
9 Dennis Rodman
Another retired NBAer, Dennis Rodman is one weird dude. Multicolored hair, crazy tattoos and piercings, even full drag can't hide all that ugly. They say he was nicknamed "The Worm" for his fierce defense and rebounding abilities, but his overall creepiness had to have had something to do with it too. Like many others on this list Rodman has managed to date and even marry some beautiful women despite not looking like Prince Charming. I’m sure it’s his great personality.
8 Epiphanny Prince
It’s great to see so many athletes branch out into acting. Prince for example is more commonly known for her role as a lesbian inmate on Orange is the New Black. All jokes aside Prince is an incredible player, currently holding the record for most points in a single high school basketball game with 113. She currently plays with the WNBA's New York Liberty.
7 Andrew Luck
Andrew Austen Luck is an American football quarterback for the Indianapolis Colts and might just be the ugliest player in the NFL. In fact, he might be the first person in the history of beards to look uglier with a beard. Rumor has it even his super hot girlfriend has a bone to pick when it comes to Grizzly Adams disgusting neck beard. Luck is another athlete who just can't seem to avoid ending up on lists like this one. Fortunately his on-field play would put him on many "best" lists as well.
6 Alex Ovechkin
Alex Ovechkin is one of the best hockey players of his generation and is regarded as one of the toughest players in the NHL. I’m sure this has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that he is absolutely terrifying. I mean look at him; the guy looks like a murderer. The thing that perplexes me is that some (a lot of) women still lust for Ove. I’m sorry, but if a guy has that much money and that few teeth, I just can’t go there.
5 Abby Wambach
There is no questioning soccer star Abby Wambach’s skill. Personally I had no idea who she was until she presented the Arthur Ashe Courage Award to Caitlyn Jenner at the ESPYs, but I hear she’s good. I was admittedly a bit confused as to why someone would name their son Abby though. Regardless, if Time Magazine's is going to include you on their Time 100 list as one of the 100 most influential people in the world, pull yourself together woman.
4 Anthony Davis
Anthony Davis seems to be bulking, and as the 22-year-old NBA star grows he becomes more and more terrifying. Is it me or is his uni-brow growing with him? I’ve heard Davis referred to as “the future of the NBA” and “the next face of the NBA” but I’m not sure if that’ll happen with that unsightly caterpillar crawling across his face. Honestly though someone, anyone, get Anthony Davis to shave the uni-brow already! Who knows what he looks like under there, you might just find him on the Top 20 Hottest Athletes List when he does. (I'm being generous here).
3 Elizabeth Tweddle
Elizabeth "Beth" Kimberly Tweddle is a retired British artistic gymnast. She is the most successful British gymnast, male or female, in the history of the sport. APPARENTLY she’s been called ugly a time or two, and has been the subject of a bit of bullying on Twitter. I'd feel bad joining in but I’m going to take a wild guess and say Tweddle probably doesn’t read The Sportster and leave her name right here on the list. Tweddle if you’re reading this stop Googling yourself, you’re just asking for it.
2 Tyler Kennedy
Growing up in Canada, the hot guys in school were the hockey players. Either hormones had me seeing things or hockey players get uglier with age because we could easily have made this list with only goofy looking hockey players. I can’t put my finger on what exactly Tyler Kennedy reminds me of, I want to say maybe a sloth? Some kind of animal and/or cartoon character? This is going to keep me up at night.
One of the most marketable athletes on the planet, Ronaldinho is often ranked as the best soccer player in the world and while his soccer skills may be his true claim to fame, his abs are certainly worthy of the spotlight too. Sorry that’s RONALDO, wrong guy. Ronaldo de Assis Moreira, commonly known as Ronaldinho or Ronaldinho Gaúcho, is a Brazilian soccer star. You might confuse their similar names, unfortunately, they don't have similar faces.
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