How does that old saying go? Or I guess it’s more of a stereotype, really-that the really beautiful, drop-dead sexy and gorgeous women have to be dumber than a stump, right? And that the women that are really smart, or are into sports-they can’t be pretty. Now, before you women readers (hopefully I have a few) get out your torches, pitchforks and other implements of dismemberment, recognize that I started merely by asking how the stereotype went. Not declaring it to be true. With that being said, we all know that some extremely intelligent women are also incredibly hot. Some of the most athletically gifted women in the world have looks models would kill for. There is no one size fits all description for it, nor was I trying to say that there was one.
Now, with that out of the way, I am going to talk about beautiful women, and a lack of a certain kind of intelligence. Put that spitball down, here me out. Trust me, I am almost willing to bet that, once I put all my cards on the table, you may actually agree with my point. May even agree that I wasn’t even being a pig for going there. OK, you ready? Here is something we all know to be fairly accurate. Athletes, in great shape and paid better than most of the world’s population, have a ridiculously easy time pairing up with some of the most gorgeous women on the planet. No, not every athlete, just a great deal of them. This is true of all sports, but it seems incredibly true in football. And here’s where it gets good. Some of these women actually do look like they can follow the game and make sense of it. I mean, Mrs. Tom Brady looked like she had a clue while watching the big game a few weeks ago, right? But there are some smokin’ hot women, paired up with NFL players, who look as though they haven’t the foggiest idea of what is going on down on that field. So, let’s meet these ladies!
15 Brandie Labomme
The other half of crazy Cincinnati Bengals linebacker Vontaze Burfict, she just has a certain look about her. What look, you might ask? Oh, I don’t know… a look that tells me she doesn’t care what her man is doing on Sunday, so long as he is bringing in the money. Rumor has it she’s wicked smart, with reports saying she graduated from Arizona State with a double major-no small feat, even if it was “just” at a state school. But with that look, and the understanding that she may actually hold a double major? I am going to go out on a limb and say she doesn’t have the foggiest clue about football, nor does she want to know. I could be wrong. Maybe she’s crazy into the game and knows the rules and everything. I just don’t see it.
Better know, perhaps, as the second Mrs. Russell Wilson, she has at times been more famous than her own Super Bowl winning husband. And while I am confident when I say I believe she knows what the Super Bowl is, and that her hubby won one and went to another, only to blow it in the final plays, that beyond that basic understanding of his day job, she couldn’t give a flying flip about the gridiron. She wants to know when it’s payday, or when Russell’s contract is up, but beyond that I somehow doubt she can tell the difference between clipping and an illegal block in the back (yes, folks, I know what I did there). But, as hot as she is, as much success as she’s enjoyed, I bet she doesn’t care either way.
13 Mercedes Dollson
I am seriously thinking this might be the easiest one to put on this list. Many reasons come to mind, most I am going to say are a little too far out there to bother with. So, let’s see what I can share with you. For one, I don’t know that I’ve ever met anyone named Mercedes (people, not the company) that cared greatly for football. I mean, there’s a guy named Marcedes, but that’s basically a whole different name-plus, he’s played football, so that’s not a fair comparison. But, if you weren’t up for making a generalization, just look at her and tell me this beauty gives a rip about football. And, beyond that, here’s the proof that perhaps she’s not too bright. She was busted in the car with Le’Veon and Mr. Blount-because she’s Le’Veon’s girl.
12 Rona Gonzales
I don’t think we need to debate her hotness. She is dating Super Bowl 50 MVP Von Miller of the Denver Broncos. So she qualifies as a wife or girlfriend. So, does she know anything about football? I am willing to go out on a limb-a short one-and say if she knows, she certainly does not care one iota. She’s a model. She has an extensive following of fans on social media. She strikes me as the type that is more into herself and her brand than she would be about learning and understanding the game of football. I mean, she may watch-her boyfriend is one of the best defensive players in the game, after all. But I don’t think she knows, or cares, what the difference is between nickel and dime coverage.
11 Megan Cushing
I am on the fence about this one. No, not about her qualifications - she’s got those. I mean, look at her! She’s an absolutely gorgeous wife, and she is married to Houston Texans star linebacker Brian Cushing. She’s been with him long enough that I would venture to say she might actually know something about the game, but here’s where I really get myself on the fence. Whether she knows about the game or not, does she even actually care? I mean, about the game, not about whether her hubby is getting paid. And, in her defense, it might actually be harder for her to watch or care now then when they were dating. Why? Well, silly, she has to watch the couple’s young children while daddy goes out and bashes people around the field. So, she might have a little bit of a clue what he does, but I don’t think she really worries about it too much.
10 Ariel Meredith
Is she hot? One hundred percent absolutely yes! Is she a wife or girlfriend of someone in the National Football League? You bet your butt she is, as this gorgeous specimen happens to be, or at least had been, engaged to Hakeem Nicks. So, if she’s willing and ready to spend eternity (or until she gets bored, or he does something stupid) with a football player, she HAS to know about the sport, right? Maybe not. I mean, I am not trying to be one to judge, but she is, after all, a model. And it’s honestly not my way of saying models are dunces. Not at all. What I am trying to say, however, is that perhaps she’s too busy to worry or care about the sport. Seriously, if you don’t believe me, go look at her modeling credits. She does not have time to worry about football.
9 Cameron Howard
Dating or married to someone in the National Football League? Yes, last seen with Louis Vazquez, an offensive lineman. Does she qualify as a hot WAG? Without a doubt, every day of the week and twice on Sunday. Why do I think she couldn’t care less about football? Because she comes off as too much of an amateur model, hot, wanting to show off, just self-absorbed enough to not really care what anyone else does, she just worries about Cameron. Now, that may not be entirely true, but take one look at her. Does she strike you as the type that would really care about the nuances of the game? Especially if her man is on the offensive line. Yes, he gets paid, and it’s a needed job, but it’s not as though offensive linemen make the highlight reels often.
8 Morgan Kauffmann
Is she a stunner? You would be one hundred percent right to call her that. Does she intimately know, in romantic ways, an NFL player? Well, I would hope so, though some of you may not consider kickers to be players too. But, rest assured they are, and so she has qualified. And who does she date? Pittsburgh Steelers kicker Chris Boswell. Man, some guys have all the luck, don’t they? Kick a ball, barely get hit, date extremely hot female. What’s not to love there? Now, I was momentarily on the fence about Morgan, for one good reason. While I don’t see any extremely obvious indications that she has become an avid football follower, there is this: she grew up in the state of Texas, and as many of us know, the state of Texas treats football like it’s a religion. Although, she could be one of those cultured ones who hates football for that exact reason.
7 Marissa Powell
In terms of her hotness resume, how does this strike you: she’s a major beauty pageant competitor, or she was. I think that covers that part of things. In terms of the National Football League piece, she’s married to Kyle Van Noy, whom she has dated since they were at Brigham Young University together. Now, if you have spent that much time with someone, maybe you’ve picked up on how and what they do. But there’s just something about how she comes off that has me thinking that, while she’s most likely watching the games, she hasn’t the foggiest clue about the plays, players and situations. That is completely and totally fine. We have help for that. It’s called, sit back, relax, be hot and don’t worry about football. She does that quite well.
6 Gaby Barcelo
If being sexy was a crime, then Gaby Barcelo could be facing life without parole. Oh, come on, don’t groan at the absolutely terrible joke! But seriously, she is an absolutely fine example of the female form, and in terms of that whole “date a professional football player” item? Oh yeah, she’s well covered there too. Who is her man? How about hard hitting Cincinnati Bengal George Iloka? Yes, that is her man. But do I expect a woman as stunning as her to know much, or care much, about the game? No, no I do not. I doubt very much that Mr. Iloka cares how little she watches games either. Though, while there are nuances to his position of safety, she actually only has to sit back and yell for him to cream the competition, so maybe she watches after all?
5 Sarah Hinton
This beauty worked her way through college by waiting tables at Hooters. No, that isn’t meant to explain how clueless she is when it comes to football. That is meant to underscore just how hot she is. She worked there to pay for college! That whole boyfriend or husband in the NFL thing? How about San Francisco Forty-niner tight end Garrett Celek? Pretty sure she is like, totally qualified. But while she might be dating a football player, she does not strike me as the type who really cares about it. I have this feeling she rocks the Celek jersey hard, but spends hardly any time watching the team. And I suppose for the guys, in this case Celek, maybe that’s a good thing she just does her thing.
4 Kasey Trione
Absolutely, one hundred percent gorgeous. I mean, some might say she’s so hot she’s melting cameras all over the place. And while she may be extremely hot, let’s just say that she is so hot that her hotness outranks her man’s position on a football field-namely, her man is fiancée and journeyman National Football League wide receiver Lance Moore. See, even the mediocre and middling talents can land themselves a 10 (or a 10 plus even), like Moore did here with Ms. Trione. But, I will bet you dollars to donuts she doesn’t know, nor care to know, which free agents would be leaving which teams, and she probably is not losing any sleep over her ambivalence. Hey, ignorance can be bliss!
3 Lilit Avagyan
Or, if you prefer, say hello to Mrs. Reggie Bush. That is right, ladies and gentlemen. Bush has moved on from Kim Kardashian, though there would be some among us who swear that his new wife Lilit looks an awful lot like the reality star ex in Kim, does it really matter? I don’t think it does, because bottom line, the woman is hot. But does she care even one tiny tidbit about football? Look at that face. Go ahead, just look at it. She has no reason to really care for football outside of where her husband plays, and how much he gets paid. Beyond that, she sure looks like she couldn’t care less. Good for her, I think.
2 Brooke Stewart
Shagging Larry Fitzgerald, so that should more than qualify her under the terms and conditions of this paper. As for smoking hotness, she appears to have broken the charts and scales, so she is more than qualified there. So does she have a clue about football? Maybe, but I wouldn’t bet on it. While she played a sport in college, that sport was basketball. That wouldn’t have left her a ton of time to fall in love with the pigskin and all that goes along with it, would it? No, not especially. And now, she seems to work in a night club in Vegas as a server. Want to bet that the hours she keeps and the hours for a football game don’t line up? I do. So, she doesn’t care about football. So what…there are worse crimes!
1 Olivia Munn
I thought about where to put Olivia Munn for about a nanosecond, and then I spent the rest of this time debating with myself as to whether or not Ms. Munn was really going to be our hottest wife or girlfriend. But indeed she was, and all is right in the world. In theory, anyways. But, once you get past her hotness, we should also point out that she has made a real man out of Aaron Rodgers, quarterback for the Green Bay Packers. Yes, she’s been around him for a bit now, but I am not expecting her to actually know much about the sport. Maybe enough to be his new head cheerleader? But that’s a story for another time.