There's nothing like music to get you in the mood for something. Road trips, vacations, first dates, even holiday dinners with the members of your extended family who proudly talk about boasting their second amendment rights in public as they casually ask you to pass the green beans. However, if music has ever proven to be remarkably great for one thing, it has certainly proven it's worth in preparing you for sports competitions. Tom Brady has proven himself to be one of the greatest to ever play his sport so we decided to take a gamble at what songs could potentially be on his iPod. We asked if we could take a look at his iPod for ourselves but he said it coincidentally broke a couple days ago. These are the '15 Songs Tom Brady Probably Has On His iPod.'
15 AC/DC: "Big Balls"
You all had to have seen the 'DeflateGate' joke coming a mile away so let’s not act too surprised that we decided to get it out of the way first. Regardless of how it all played out, I think it's fair to say that the whole "scandal" was pretty ridiculous and, by the end of it all, it was all basically intolerable. I'm not going to go on in length about the logistics of the whole thing but it's safe to say Tom Brady has a pretty big chip on his shoulder this season because of it. All you have to do is look at his numbers (my fantasy football team thanks you, by the way). This is one of those songs people look back on 15 years later and say, “You know, this song was really ahead of its time.”
14 4 Non Blondes: "What's Up"
I know this is meant to be somewhat of a joke but, let’s be honest, everything about this song and video is totally a thing you could imagine Tom Brady doing on occasion. Here, I'll set the scene for you: It's a brisk, winter morning as Tom Brady steps out onto his newly remodeled balcony where his supermodel wife is resting in their brand new jacuzzi. Tom Brady smiles as he overlooks the ongoing renovations to the couple's new guest house which will most likely end up being Rob Gronkowski's "crash pad" on the nights him and Tom have a few too many while watching game film. As he sets his coffee down on the table in front of him, Tom then lets out a deep breath and places his headphones atop his self-branded hat for a moment of tranquility. Yeah, this is totally a thing.
13 Fort Minor: "Remember The Name"
I think we all can agree that this was the song all your parents praised after they found your stash of burned 50 Cent and Three Six Mafia albums in your bookbag. “All of this rap music is garbage, I tell you! Now, these Fort Minor guys? This is good rap music,” your dad exclaimed as he bobbed his head while driving you home from basketball practice in the family’s rusted out minivan. Then, there’s Tom Brady. The type of guy who looks like he walks around the New England Patriots locker room with his Bose Noise Cancelling headphones while he listens to the song as he tells his teammates how great the song is. "What's that?! Morgan's Diner? No, Fort Minor! These guys are great!"
12 Deniece Williams: "Let's Hear It For The Boy"
Every great athlete has one or two or three pre-game rituals, right? Right. But how about post-game rituals? I mean, it could definitely be a thing, couldn't it? Let's just say I could totally see Tom and his supermodel wife, Gisele, dancing around through the various hallways of the empty section of their New England mansion in nothing but matching Tom Brady jerseys, as well as matching seasonal UGG boots? Soon after, they start trying to recreate the scene from 'Dirty Dancing' where Patrick Swayze lifts up Jennifer Grey but Tom is quick to go into "coach mode" and they end up doing the routine over and over again until they reach perfection. "Like the movie, Gisele! It has to be just like the movie!" Yeah, try to get that one out of your head now.
11 Trace Adkins: "American Man"
I still don't understand the whole appeal of country music, maybe one of you can "enlighten" me as to why the music is apparently so great, but this one feels like it sort of just fits the whole Patriots theme. Plus, Tom Brady is a Michigan man so, yeah, it works. I mean, who can’t see Touchdown Tom knowing all the lyrics to this song, Southern twang included. I'll even go as far as to say that he probably even sings it as he takes the scenic route to practice on occasional mornings in his navy blue Ford F-150 (windows rolled down, even in the winter of course) that serves no real purpose to Tom’s lifestyle, but he drives it anyway because he got it for free after doing a few Ford commercials back in the day.
10 Kanye West: "Runaway"
It’s common knowledge that Tom Brady is sort of a jerk, right? I mean, he is sort of a jerk. It's not like there's plenty of Google-able evidence to support my case or anything. We can all admit some of our favorite athletes, and musicians, are sort of jerks, it's fine. It keeps them grounded and I think it's healthy to call out some of our favorite people from time to time. Plus, as the saying goes, "Never meet your heroes." So, I think it would probably be fair to say that Tom listened to this song for the first time and said, “Boy, this Kanye guy really gets me!” Hey, you can’t be a genius without being a little crazy, right? In Tom’s case, I suppose you can’t be one of the greatest quarterbacks of all time without being somewhat of a douche at times.
9 Rick Astley: "Never Gonna Give You Up"
We've all done it. As we searched around the Internet for an early album link or movie download, whatever your vice is, and the only thing waiting for you on the other side of that download status bar was this video. Remember how upset it made you the first time it happened? And the second? How about the 20th time it happened to you? Still angry, right? Okay, now imagine Tom Brady spending an extra 30 minutes every morning creating a fake Hotmail account and sending Roger Goodell a brief email with the subject line “Tom Brady Spotted Deflating MORE Footballs” that only contained a link to this song. The only thing I can imagine is Goodell shaking his fist at the sky as he loudly says, “Curse you, Tom Brady!”
8 Curb Your Enthusiasm Theme Song
This song fits the occasion for basically any time you've found yourself in an unfathomable circumstance. The time you didn't Dak Prescott scored 30 points while he sat on the bench in your fantasy football league? Cue the music. The time you thought you nailed a final exam after doing the most minimal amount of studying, only to find out you completely bombed it? Cue the music. I imagine Tom Brady's scenario was no different as he opened his mailbox to see the NFL letterhead on the envelope which had Brady’s four game suspension sealed inside. If it were an episode of ‘Curb Your Enthusiasm’ I imagine the camera would do a slow-zoom on Brady’s face as he shook his fist in the air and yelled out, “Curse you, Roger Goodell!”
7 Pink Floyd: "Another Brick In The Wall"
Another Seam In The Ball. Roger Goodell as Angry Scottish Teacher. [Insert Any NFL Team] as The Kids. Roger Goodell seems like the kind of guy who applied for a job not expecting to get it but ended up getting hired anyway and is now completely over his head and has no idea what he's doing. That's what I've gathered anyway after watching every one of his press conferences following a newsworthy event in the NFL the past couple of years. The New England Patriots seem to be the team that has constantly tried to defy his leadership and now he only has it out for them. The only real way for the Patriots to get back at Goodell for suspending Tom Brady for four games this year would be to win the Super Bowl.
6 Archie Eversole: "We Ready"
This wouldn’t be a proper playlist without this song making the cut. I mean, who didn't have this song on their pre-game playlist back in the day? Anytime this song came on in the locker room, you and your teammates on your 'mediocre-at-best' high school football or basketball team started aimlessly jumping around as your coaches looked on confused as to if they should yell at you or just walk out like they didn't see anything. I’m also fairly certain this song was on all of your highlight tapes that you watch from time to time while the wife is away and you re-live all of your high school football glory days thinking about what could have been. C’mon, you know all of what I just said is at least 70% accurate.
5 Pretty Much Any Song By U2 Or Coldplay
For any white guy over the age of 35, there's destined to be a U2 or Coldplay song on at least one of your iTunes or Spotify playlists. For whatever reason, U2 and/or Coldplay seem to be some of the most relatable music for men in that demographic. I can't see why seeing as they have some of the most bland lyrics in music but that's neither here nor there. There’s practically a U2 or Coldplay song for every feeling or situation a middle-age white guy will encounter. Patriots lose a double-overtime heartbreaker to the Indianapolis Colts? “Yellow” by Coldplay seems fitting. The Patriots squeak out a nail-biter in Pittsburgh after Tom Brady threw the game winning touchdown? Is there any other song to play besides “Beautiful Day” by U2? I didn’t think so.
4 Augustana: "Boston"
I know this song wasn’t released until after Tom Brady was drafted by the New England Patriots, but let’s not act like this totally wouldn’t be the song that plays during the part in his retirement highlight tape where he’s finally drafted in the sixth round. Tom was even asked to talk about his career with New England just a few years ago and bursted into tears, so this is pretty much a surefire song to start the waterworks in 30 seconds or less. I'm not saying it isn't warranted, the guy has had a Hall of Fame career after being substantially doubted coming into the NFL but if there's ever been an athlete that people don't mind seeing cry, Tom Brady is probably high on that list. C’mon, NFL Films, I honestly just gave you a freebie.
3 Neil Diamond: "Sweet Caroline"
Is this ever NOT the song that plays for any Boston team after they win a championship of some sort? I feel like they even play this after little league games and it’s the one and only time parents let their children curse in front of them (we all know which part I’m talking about) but only leads to them inevitably running around the house cursing random obscenities in their infamous Boston accent, hence Bostonians being some of the most foul mouthed people I know. Personally, I think I've only ever sung along to this song on St. Patricks Day. Okay, I'm getting off-track. What I'm trying to say is, if you were born in Boston, I'm 98% sure you were born knowing the lyrics to this song and seeing as the New England Patriots win, a lot, you've probably also heard this song, a lot.
2 Queen: "We Are The Champions"
This is basically the song that every sports team sings along to as they have their annual team campfire, so I can’t imagine it being any different for the New England Patriots. After a few passes of the bourbon, I'm sure the team even allows the equipment managers to sing the chorus. A part of me wishes Bill Belichick was a closet drunk at these types of social gatherings and goes into a drunken solo as he holds Tom Brady and Rob Gronkowski under each of his arms while he squeezes both of them just a little too tight, pressuring them to drink the respective bottle of liquor in each of his hands, followed by lots of, "I love you, man." I also see Belichick being a hard scotch drinker. Don't ask me why, he just does.
1 Jay-Z: "Public Service Announcement"
Alright. This might be the only serious song on this list but it’s absolutely necessary. Tom Brady is, hands down, one of the best quarterbacks to ever play the game of football, if not the best. Yeah, I said it, and all of the Joe Montana and Peyton Manning fan club members can go sit down somewhere for this one because this opinion is one I'll never come down from. It’s only right that Touchdown Tom also listens to arguably one of the best songs in Jay-Z’s catalog. At the very least, I imagine he played it right before taking the field at some point during this career, preferably this year as he came back from his utterly ridiculous four game suspension. “Allow me to reintroduce myself, my name is, TOM! T TO THE-O-M!”