Not The Brightest Crayon: 15 Dumbest NFL Players Ever

Jocks and smarts don't often go together. It's a stereotype that seems to never go away. Of course, there are exceptions to the rules. For instance, New York Jets quarterback, Ryan Fitzpatrick, attended Harvard. He he is not the first Ivy Leaguer to play in the NFL either. However, lets not kid ourselves here. The NFL is built with brutes who slid through high school and college because they were stellar athletes. Sadly, this is an unfortunate truth. Colleges throughout the decades have been penalized concerning this matter. Auburn and Syracuse were both busted a few years ago.

This list aims to tackle all sorts of stupid. Doing well or not doing in school is not the only bench mark. Some of the NFL's dumb dumbs showcase their inane antics consistently on football Sundays. Others struggle to speak in complete sentences or exhibit a full coherent thought when questioned by reporters. The greatest measure of the lack of intelligence might be the NFL players off-field activities. For instance, shooting oneself on accident would fall into this category. With that being said, lets have a look at some of the NFL's dullest colored Crayolas.

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15 Antonio Cromartie

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There is an old saying that goes, "you can't fix stupid." In Antonio Cromartie's case that might not be true. Antonio was actually fixed. And by fixed I mean in the way we "fix" dogs and cats. After having his 11th and 12th child, Antonio decided it was time to have a vasectomy. It took Antonio 12 kids to come to this surgical decision. And while you might be thinking, "What's not wonderful about a baby? Antonio just wants to bless the world with more children." These kids are from at least seven different mothers. That's right, at least seven. It appears Antonio certainly likes to spread his love around. For the sake of Antonio's 12 kids, I hope Antonio is a great father and an intelligent man. Sadly, up to this point the contrary seems to be true.

14 Ben Roethlisberger

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A quarterback on the NFL's dumbest player list? (I've actually got a few more on the list too.) Aren't they supposed to be the smart guys on every team? They have to remember the whole play book and change plays at the line of scrimmage and dissect opposing defenses, right? Yeah that's all true, and Big Ben has proven his worth in those regards. However, Ben Roethlisberger's reckless stupidity occurs during the eight or so months he isn't playing football. In 2006, helmet-less Big Ben zoomed his crotch rocket out of control and tossed his head into an opposing car's defense... I mean windshield. Ben basically mangled his face and skull resulting in serious injury. Later, Big Ben would be seen on his crotch rocket without a helmet once again. Ben's other offseason antics include double sexual assault allegations. Rest assured though America, Ben will still be honored and praised on screens across the nation.

13 Laremy Tunsil

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Coming in at number 13 is the former All American Ole Miss left tackle, Laremy Tunsil. Laremy was projected as the number one college prospect coming out of the 2016 NFL Draft. Ironically, Laremy would fall to number 13 where he would be selected by the Miami Dolphins. However, it was not Laremy's lack of talent or team scout's disbelief in his draft ratings that triggered his descent. Literally ten minutes before the draft began Laremy's Twitter account was hacked and a very precarious video was released on his behalf. Suspended from young Laremy's head was a homemade smoking contraption. Said device was a hybrid of a bong and a gas mask. Classic, right? The video shows Laremy taking a massive hit and getting ripped right on camera. Now, it's not Laremy's fault his account was hacked. Whoever did that is a punk. Laremy, being a top shelf athlete set to make millions and millions of dollars should never be doing something like that, let alone having someone film it. Laremy's drop in the draft probably cost him about $10-15 million. Bongs up Miami!

12 Vontaze Burfict

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Maybe Vontaze Burfict is book smart. Probably not, but lets give him the benefit of the doubt. I mean he did study the ankle injuries that Carolina Panther's quarterback, Cam Newton, was dealing before the 2014 season. Otherwise how would Vontaze have known to grab Cam's foot and twist after a certain goal line sequence when the Bengals played the Panthers? This assault would cost Vontaze $25,000 in league fines. I would also think he is at least decent at mathematics. After being fined for three separate instances in one game against the Steelers, his counting skills must be improving. Perhaps Vontaz' dumbest unsportsmanlike act was during the AFC Wild Card game against the Steelers in 2015. The Bengals were at the cusp of winning their first playoff game since 1991. They were leading the Steelers by one point. With a fleeting 22 seconds the Steelers were all but done for. Then Vontaz attempted to decapitate receiver, Antonio Brown. Vontaze was flagged for 15 yards which led to a fight. Which led to another 15 yard penalty. Which led to the Steelers kicking an easy field goal. Which led to a Bengals loss.

11 Leon Lett

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Leon Lett was a beast of a player for the Dallas Cowboys during their glory run in the 1990s. He was one of their best players on a dominant defensive line. He was a two-time Pro Bowler and a three-time Super Bowl Champion with the Cowboys squad. However, these accolades are a lesser known part of Leon's career. He is best known for two classic blunders during his playing days. The lesser known of the two occurred in Super Bowl XXVII when the Cowboys played the Bills. Leon was feet from returning a fumble for a touchdown when he decided to reach the ball out like he was flying. Bill's Don Beebe chased him down and swatted it out of his hands. Luckily for Leon, the Cowboys still crushed the Bills. The other blunder happened on Thanksgiving Day in a game against the Dolphins. I was at this game by the way. I was 10 at the time. The Cowboys blocked the go- ahead field goal by the fins. Leon instructed teammates to avoid the loose ball. They did. Leon didn't. Leon touched the ball making it a live ball which the fins recovered. The Dolphins would go on to win. Leon was also suspended a total of 28 games for drug use.

10 Kiko Alonso

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If you have never heard Kiko Alonso give an interview to the press, I highly recommend you do. It's hilarious. I think the NFL might want to give 'ole Kiko a drug test, because he must be stoned. His blank stares and his struggles to makes complete sentences, coherent thoughts, or say anything at all for very long uncomfortable periods of time suggest Kiko is regularly borrowing Laremy Tunsil's "gas mask." Here are a couple gems: After the recent victory over the Chargers, Kiko was asked, "Did (Philip Rivers) seem off today?" His response, "Uhhhhh (three second pause)... I mean I don't know." That's fine maybe the leader and middle linebacker of the Dolphins wasn't able to assess the opposing quarterbacks performance. Here's another: "If you weren't playing football what would you be doing?" "Uhhhhh...I don't know. Uhhhhh.... (five second pause)....I don't know. I'd be doing some crazy shi*." This is just a small sample size. For the life of me, I don't know how he directs and audibles the defense Sunday after Sunday. He's the best middle linebacker the Dolphins have had since Zach Thomas though. Fins up.

9 Jason Pierre-Paul

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"Warning. Shoots Flaming Balls." "Caution. Emits Flaming Sparks." "Warning. Highly Flammable." "Use Only Under Adult Supervision." I wonder which of the those mentioned warnings it was that Jason Pierre-Paul ignored on that fateful night he nearly blew his hand off. During the summer of 2015 on July 4th, Pierre-Paul spent over $1,000 on fireworks. First off, who can argue with that kind of investment? After an explosive night of bright lights emitted from an array of fireworks, midnight struck. Pierre-Paul agreed that he might as well fire off the last remaining rockets. 'Cause hey, what could go wrong? After struggling with the lighter and the mighty force of a conflicting wind in the wee hours of the night, Pierre-Paul was determined to light the fuse to see more boom boom. Then, success! Pierre-Paul was swallowed in a plume of green flame. I wonder if it was like that scene in "Big Trouble in Little China." Pierre-Paul lost about three fingers in the incident. He now plays with a club.

8 Morris Claiborne

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As players are preparing for the NFL Draft they are put through a number of tests. Most of the tests are physical in nature such as, the 40-yard dash, the cone drill, high jump, and the measurement of their height and weight. Each player is also subjected to a written exam. The NFL, for the past 30 years, has used a test known as the Wonderlic Test in this regard. The Wonderlic Test is a 12 minute, 50 question exam that aims to assess the athlete's learning and problem-solving abilities. Here is an example question from the test, "Ben’s General Store is selling yarn for $0.04 a foot. How many feet can you buy for $0.52?" Morris Claiborne, who is undoubtedly a highly skilled athlete, scored a four on the test. That is the lowest anyone has ever scored on the Wonderlic. For comparison sake, Ryan Fitzpatrick, who attended Harvard, scored a 48. That is tied for third highest. Claiborne apparently has a learning disability when it comes to reading. The Cowboys paid little attention to this kind of test as they selected Morris with the sixth overall pick of the 2012 draft.

7 Michael Vick

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Michael Vick was selected with the first overall pick in the 2001 NFL Draft by the Atlanta Falcons. He was one of the most exciting college quarterbacks to ever play the game. He carried that same excitement to the NFL. Vick is easily the best running quarterback ever and might have a top-10 arm of all time too. In the Madden football game it was basically cheating to use the Falcons, because Vick was too good. In Madden 25 he was a "99" overall. Since then, Madden has toned down how good a "99" really is. Vick's rise to the top came to a crashing holt after the 2006 season. Vick pleaded guilty in Bad Newz Kennels dog fighting investigation. And it wasn't like Michael Vick attended a few dog fights and bet on them, which is disgusting enough. Vick was the ring leader of said events. He was in charge of the organization and the gambling component to the heinous crime. Without going into details of this gruesome, cruel, underground activity, Michael Vick was guilty of some pretty damning stuff. Luckily for Vick, he would return to the NFL after his suspension and hefty fines and be named the NFL's Comeback Player of the year for the 2010 season.

6 Aaron Hernandez

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Aaron Hernandez, if fate had turned out different, could have been apart of the deadliest tight end tandem in the league. Pairing Hernandez and Rob Gronkowski on the Patriots decimated opposing defenses. For the short while they played together, Hernandez and Gronk, changed the way the offenses in the league played football. They made it cool to have two freakishly gifted tight ends on the field at the same time. This, in turn, changed the way defenses are built. However, fate was not so kind to Hernandez. Hernandez was found guilty of first degree murder of his friend Odin Lloyd during the summer of 2013. First degree murder means he was the guy that pulled the trigger. Hernandez is currently serving a life sentence without the possibility of parole. Massachusetts doesn't have the death penalty, otherwise he could have been sentenced to death. So instead of being part of the most dominating team in the history of the NFL, New England Patriots, Hernandez will spend the rest of his days in very small jail cell. Stay in school kids. Don't join a gang.

5 Plaxico Burress

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Plaxico Burress accidentally shot himself. That's all you really need to know, but I'll indulge the readers. In November of 2008, Plaxico found himself in a nightclub in New York. At the time, he played for the Super Bowl Champion New York Giants. Plaxico decided it might be a good idea to bring a gun into the club that night, so he stuffed a glock pistol in his pants. I guess you never know when homey's might be trippin.' And that night, homey's be trippin.' So Plaxico reached into pants to grab his glock and wound up in the hospital after he shot himself in the thigh. Plaxico didn't have a license to carry a gun in the state of New York so Plaxico went to jail. Plaxico served 20 months of his two year sentence. This was at the peak of Plaxico's career mind you. He was one of the best receivers in the game. Here's a side note on Plaxico's two year sentence. Less than one year later wide receiver, Donte Stallworth, was drunk driving and killed someone. This is involuntary manslaughter. He was sentenced to 30 days in jail. Let's get this straight. Plaxico shoots HIMSELF and gets two years. Stallworth kills someone and gets 30 days. Anyone seeing the problem here?

4 Chad 'Ochocinco' Johnson

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Chad Johnson changed his name to Chad Ochocinco in 2008. Ochocinco is the number 85 in Spanish. Chad wore number 85 for the Bengals. Isn't he so clever? Why don't more players do that? I think it's the greatest, smartest, most clever, fantastic, amazing, historical, courageous, captivating thing anyone has ever done in the history of the universe and beyond. Four years late, clever Chad changed his name back to Johnson. I feel like Chad is what happens when a child never becomes an adult, but he has this adult body, and he is a sensational athlete. However, the mind was never given the opportunity to fully grow and mature. Chad did things like use excessive profanity during press conferences. He was always a nuisance in the locker drawing attention to himself rather than the team. Chad would regularly have temper tantrums, and he wasn't shy about letting the media know his grievances. Johnson's finest moment might be his arrest during his brief training camp stint with the Dolphins. Chad gave his lawyer a congratulatory spank on the rear in the court room after his lawyer defended Chad's assault case. The judge didn't think it was too funny. Instead of giving him no jail time, she gave him 30 days. Chad was immediately cut from the Dolphins. Chad would finish football playing for the Montreal Alouettes of Canada.

3 Johnny Manziel

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Johnny Manziel is another case of a child who never reached "adulthood." Manziel was a great talent at the quarterback position. He was very similar to Michael Vick in his ability to be a dual threat quarterback. However, sometimes when a young person is gifted with extremely rare athletic abilities, they are hoisted atop a pedestal for the formative years of their lives. They are never really forced to obey the "rules" of life because no one ever enforces the rules upon them. Said authorities would much rather people like Johnny Manziel continue to play football rather than go to class, treat women and men with respect, and treat authority figures with respect. Manziel ended up being drafted in the late first round of the 2014 NFL Draft by the Cleveland Browns. His NFL career was short lived. Johnny skipped practice, partied constantly (most of which was detailed in videos released via the web), and consistently avoided team rules and guidelines. Manziel spent a good amount of time in drug rehab facilities as well. He is currently attending classes at Texas A&M, where he hopes to get his degree. Football may be over for you Johnny, but there is still hope for maturation.

2 Colin Kaepernick

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Mr. America, Colin Kaepernick, makes the list for his recent actions of this year. During the preseason leading up to the 2016 season, Colin decided he would have himself a little protest. Colin chose to kneel during the national anthem in protest of the unjust treatment of minorities by police officers across the nation. What started as a little spark turn into a fire. His actions received more media attention than any sports related matter in recent memory. Even the national media covered his protest in daily headlining articles. Other players around the league were inspired by young Colin and decided they would also protest by kneeling. Some teams would stand and lock arms while other teams had a few to a handful of players kneeling on their own. To be clear, I think protesting is fine. Maybe not necessarily during your job, but it is a right that Americans have. Then, Colin had an amazing opportunity to voice his unrest with the recent presidential election. He had a chance to vote for the men and women that could potentially change America for the better. Colin didn't vote. Colin equals dumb. Dumb equals Colin. The afro looks great Colin. Keep kneeling bro.

1 Adam Jones

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If Adam Jones did not play football he would definitely be in jail or in a grave. The guy is a gangster by any understanding of the word. Adam's run ins with law cannot be contained within the confines of this article. Someone should write a book or maybe make a video game of him. Oh wait. Maybe they already did. It's called Grand Theft Auto. Adam could easily double as the protagonist in the game. I'll go over a few of Adam's indiscretions. In 2005, Adam was arrested for assault and vandalism at a night club. In 2006, Jones was arrested for marijuana. During the arrest he assaulted two of the cops. In 2006, Adam was involved in a gun fight outside of a gas station in Nashville. Later in 2006, he was arrested for disorderly conduct and public intoxication. Again in 2006, he was arrested for spitting on a girl at a night club. His most famous incident involves "making it rain" nearly $81,000 dollars at strip club. That night he also slammed the stripper's head into the stage. Later that evening his posse would return and shoot the place up resulting in paralysis for one of the victims. Adam Jones is currently a starting defensive back for the Cincinnati Bengals.

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