Fantasy Football isn’t some game where everyone comes out happy, shaking each other’s hands in the end. It’s a fierce competition that involves strategic drafting, smart trades and the occasional lucky play every now and then. It can seriously ruin friendships. All jokes aside, fantasy sports have blown up over the last decade and come hand in hand with watching the games themselves. After all, isn’t the game just a little more exciting when you’ve got something riding on it?
Fantasy Football is a year round commitment, as you’ve got to draft a team, man the waiver wire and try to make some beneficial trades. All while keeping up with player and team news and trying to see how you can make the best of the matchups you’ve got. It can get pretty time consuming after a while, but that’s all part of the fun. Winning and losing is a completely different story altogether. Building your team is probably one of the best times you’re going to have, because once you realize that all your choices suck, it’s a very slow, painful descent down from there.
One thing that’s always fun is choosing your team name. You’ve got people that go with a standard rip-off of their favorite team and others who put a lot of time and consideration into finding a great funny name. It might not help your chances down the line, but it’ll put a smile on your face once you’re staring that 0-4 start in the face. Why not take some of the names on this list if you haven’t decided on anything yet. That’s one less thing to worry about going into 2015.
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15 Shopping at Lacy’s – Eddie Lacy
Eddie Lacy is primed to have one of his best seasons in 2015. The Packers power back won’t have to shop around to get carries in the Green Bay backfield, as he’s their undisputed number 1 and looks like he’s locked in as a top five pick in all fantasy leagues. The names works great if you’re a Packers fan and it goes even better if you manage to snag Lacy in your league.
14 Somewhere Over Dwayne Bowe – Dwayne Bowe
After what happened last year, it wouldn’t be surprising for Dwayne Bowe to live up to this name. In his last year with the Chiefs, Bowe failed to find the end zone once, despite being Kansas City’s number one receiver. That didn’t bode well with fantasy owners. Bowe has always been an up and down kind of player. but last year was definitely his worst year by far. Now with Cleveland, he’ll have either Josh McCown or Johnny Manziel throwing him the ball. With that group of passers throwing him the ball, you can bet that Bowe is going to have more than a few passes fly over his head.
13 Forgetting Brandon Marshall – Brandon Marshall
This is a great name for a disgruntled Bears fan. After trading Marshall away to the Jets earlier this offseason, Chicago is planning on moving forward with two young products in Alshon Jeffery and rookie Kevin White. Meanwhile, the veteran Marshall looks to be a lock opposite Eric Decker in a shaky pass offense that saw the latter’s production greatly drop in 2014. Will Marshall suffer the same fate? With the current production at the quarterback position for the Jets, you’d be hard pressed to find someone who’s willing to give you a definite no. But if things do end up picking up in New York, then Marshall should very well be considered a WR1 going into the season.
12 Jamaal About That Bass – Jamaal Charles
Jamaal Charles is arguably one of the best running backs in the NFL. That’s no different in Fantasy Football circles. The elusive runner is Kansas City’s biggest weapon once again and can be counted to be the staple of their offense. With the situation at receiver being less than ideal, Charles should be expected to get a decent amount of work as a pass catcher this year. He’ll rely a great deal on those big guys upfront to open up some lanes. Meaning Jamaal is definitely all about that bass.
11 Kaep to the Future – Colin Kaepernick
A little “Back to the Future” reference for all the sci-fi fans out there. If things keep going the way they are in San Francisco, Colin Kaepernick might just need to get himself a DeLorean to get his team out of the hole they’ve dug themselves into. While Kaep’s play hasn’t been awful, it certainly hasn’t been anything to boast about. Despite being one of the few starting quarterbacks in the league who can get it done with his arm and legs, Kaep remains a gamble as any team's QB2 option.
10 We Wilfork You – Vince Wilfork
While he might no longer be in his prime, Vince Wilfork was a solid offseason addition for the Houston Texans. Now, most people won’t be calling Wilfork’s name unless they’re doing IDP drafts and even at that he’s not projected to have a great year. But he’s sure to man the Texans’ NT position and will bring that winning attitude over from the New England Patriots. So if anyone out there’s looking to get their hands on Houston’s defense, then this name just might fit.
9 The Deflatriots – New England Patriots
Have any New England Patriots fans you want to piss off? If it wasn’t clear enough through the complete backlash and constant whining on social media after golden boy Tom Brady got suspended four games by the NFL for his supposed role in the Deflategate scandal, Patriots fans love playing the victim. Let’s get one thing straight, this “the league against us” bull is great to sell to their fans and it’ll create some steam now that they’re defending their title. But these aren’t the Oakland Raiders. Robert Kraft isn’t taking the league to court while acting out some sort of gonzo psychological warfare with the league’s front office. They’re one of the most popular teams in the NFL, but their name keeps coming up in too many instances where they’re caught bending the rules a little too much. At this point, they look like the sports team equivalent to the honor student choking on cigarette smoke because he tried to be cool.
8 Teenage Mutant Ninja Bortles – Blake Bortles
Apparently Blake Bortles’ rookie season war marred by a “dead arm” which might’ve caused him some problems making throws. The Jaguars might’ve finally found themselves a franchise QB. While Jags fans know all too well that this can go down fast, Bortles is entering his second year with a great deal of optimism behind him. His TD: INT ratio last year was pretty bad, effectively keeping him in the QB2 conversation for most of the year. However, if he can improve, he’ll be less of an emergency pickup and more of a solid backup in most fantasy leagues. If he can’t, we might see him get run into the sewers.
7 Multiple Goregasms – Frank Gore
Oh, is it time for some cheap sexual innuendo? Why not. If you’re a Colts fan and you’re particularly excited by the signing of veteran running back Frank Gore, this might be the team name for you. With the inconsistency at running back for the Colts over the last few seasons being what it’s been, there’s no shame in being more than a little curious to see what a solid and consistent runner like Gore can do for Luck and Co. on offense.
6 Rage Against the Vereen – Shane Vereen
The hope around the Giants organization is that newly acquired running back Shane Vereen can inject some energy into the Giants offense and give defensive coordinators a lot to be mad about. Coming off a Super Bowl win with the Pats, Vereen should get third down roles and is expected to move all around the field with the offense. While he might not be the starter, he should be considered a high-ceiling RB3 when taking into account the Giants’ love for running the ball, as well as their recent success in the passing game.
5 It’s a Hard Gronk Life – Rob Gronkowski
Rob Gronkowski’s got it good. A big contract, a shiny new Super Bowl ring on the way and he’s currently enjoying his “Summer of Gronk,” as he usually does this time of year. The only ones who’ve got it tough are the ones who have to go against the Patriots Pro Bowl tight end. That holds true on the football field and in the fantasy world as well. He’s the best tight end in the game depending on who you ask, and anyone who will pull the trigger on him is pretty much getting a fourth receiver to add to their starting lineup.
4 Bridge over Troubled Waters – Teddy Bridgewater
The Simon & Garfunkel reference might fly over some people’s heads, but fantasy owners will be smart to take notice of Teddy Bridgewater this upcoming season. His rookie season was promising and even though he did turn the ball over a little too much at times, he’s getting Adrian Peterson back. Meaning less pressure to throw the ball and less turnovers for the sophomore signal caller. There might’ve been some hard times in Minnesota before Bridgewater came to town, but now that he’s there, things are finally looking like they’ll calm down for the Vikings. Nowhere to go but up.
3 Harder Better Foster Stronger – Arian Foster
This name is so appropriate considering Foster’s magnificent recovery from injury last season. After having missed half of 2013 due to an injury sustained during training camp, Arian Foster came back in 2014 better than ever. Well, maybe not statistically, but you get the idea. He rushed for over 1,200 yards and carried the Texans through their QB issues. With this year’s batch of signal callers looking to be just as risky as last years, look to Foster to once again shoulder the load and rack up the points in Houston.
2 The Playbook of Eli – Eli Manning
Around this time last year, Eli Manning’s playbook was very new to him. After the Giants hired Ben McAdoo to head their offense, Eli had to learn a brand new scheme for the first time in his career. It was painfully needed as he’d led the league in interceptions for the second time in his career the year prior. While they got off to a rough start, the Giants offense started to click halfway through the season despite the loss of star receiver Victor Cruz. While Eli hasn’t always been a guy that would put up huge numbers for your fantasy team, look to him to steadily improve in year two under this new offensive scheme.
1 Kung Suh Panda – Ndamukong Suh
Given his reputation as a dirty player, the fighting-style team name really fits his image well. Be it a stomp, kick or slap, Ndamukong Suh has done it all on the field, while still remaining one of the NFL’s best interior defensive linemen. Now with the Dolphins on a massive $114 million deal, Suh is going to be look at to anchor Miami’s defense. He’ll definitely get drafted in IDP drafts and given his level of production since entering the league, he should be on par with J.J. Watt and Justin Houston as one of the better pass rushers available.
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