We all know that the most important thing about Fantasy Football is winning. You get to take home the prize money, earn the bragging rights for the year and become the holder of your league trophy, which is yours to do what you please with. This makes your players the most important part of your team, but what this assortment of players need is an identity; a reason to show up big on Sundays (okay, maybe not. These players don’t really care about your team but it’s nice to believe you are a GM every once in a while) and the way to achieve this is through the use of a team name.
Some consider this one of the most important decisions that has to be made by a fantasy owner. Every year we scour the internet for the perfect team name. Many among us try to include the name of a player on our squad in our team name and try to make it humorous, clever, or down-right cheesy. This is both a fun and time consuming task, yet it should be considered a serious decision.
At the end of the day, if your fellow fantasy owners have a good laugh or two because of your team name, I’d consider that a job well done… just make sure not to try too hard. Well, here comes the good news, I have compiled a list of the Top 25 Fantasy team names for 2014, which include puns and player names using only the players I expect to be drafted in the majority of fantasy leagues. Have fun with it and may the fantasy gods smile upon you in the 2014 season.
25 It’s Always Runny in Philadelphia – LeSean McCoy/ Darren Sproles
This is the only team name that is included on this list that doesn't directly involve a player name. However, given the strength of the Eagles run game, this play on words related to the TV series “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia” is quite fitting. This name can be used if you happen to draft either LeSean McCoy or Darren Sproles on your fantasy team.
24 Foles Gold – Nick Foles
Nick Foles was a revelation last year as he put together an incredible season after taking over as the Eagles QB following Michael Vick’s injury. Yet, there is some question if he is the real deal and can repeat his 2013 performance over the course of a whole season or if he is Fool’s Gold. As such, if you are willing to take a risk on Foles, this name fits the bill given the uncertain nature of what those who draft him will get this season.
23 Gym, Manning, Laundry - Peyton Manning
This reference may be a touch old, however who could forget the train-wreck that was the Jersey Shore cast. For anyone who indulged in this guilty pleasure, likely remember the motto they lived by “Gym, Tanning, Laundry.” If you know that there are managers who watched Jersey Shore in the past, and you draft Manning, this name should still invoke some laughter.
22 Le’Veon on a Prayer – Le’Veon Bell
Le’Veon Bell is looking to improve on his impressive rookie season. Bell will likely be drafted early and naming a team named after one of your studs is something many managers look to do. As such, he has inspired his very own fantasy football team name. This play on Bon Jovi’s song “Living on a Prayer” should have your league mates laughing, as this is one of those clever and funny team names that should be good for a laugh or two.
21 Sproles Royce – Darren Sproles
Sproles joined the Eagles backfield this off-season, a backfield that already features LeSean McCoy, which likely implies Sproles will be drafted as no more than a flex or a backup RB. However, this car themed team name belongs on this list as Sproles was a luxury acquisition which is in line with the luxury car that the name was inspired by. If you’re a car guy, and happen to draft Sproles, this would be the perfect name for your team as it references the always classic Rolls Royce.
20 Mr. Rodgers Neighborhood – Aaron Rodgers
Alright, so this name doesn’t exactly invoke fear in your opponents, yet it likely causes your opponents to feel slightly nostalgic as they remember the mornings they used to watch Mr. Rodgers, his sweater vests and all those life lessons he taught them in their youth. It turns out school is back in session as Mr. Aaron Rodgers is teaching defenses it’s impossible to completely shut him and his high flying Green Bay offense down.
19 Spiller Instinct – C.J. Spiller
Alright, so maybe C.J. Spiller lost the killer instinct that made him so good in 2012 last season . However, he is looking to bounce back from that disappointing season during which he battled a high-ankle sprain for a large portion of the season. In 2014, expect to see Spiller’s killer instinct return, which should allow him to return to being a consistent fantasy starter. This is a name that implies your squad has what it takes to win the close games that require players to come up with clutch plays to help you win your week.
18 Forte Year old Virgin – Matt Forte
This may be a reference relating to an old movie but it doesn't change the fact that it was hilarious, and though you may have seen this name in the past, if it has not been used in your league to date, it’s a great way to include the name of your first round pick in your team name (this assumes you draft Matt Forte). Alternatively, if you happen to be in your first fantasy draft and wind up with Matt Forte on your team, you can always name your team “Not my Forte”; consider this a bonus team name.
17 Clowney with a Chance of Meatballs – Jadeveon Clowney
For those of you with children, this reference is quite clear. For those of you who do not have kids, this name is a reference to the movie “Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs.” This name can be used if you pick the Houston Texans D or if you pick this talented rookie in IDP leagues. He was a beast in college, he’s been a beast in the preseason thus far and all indications are that he will continue to be one once the season rolls around.
16 Wham! Bam! Thank you Cam! – Cam Newton
This team name is obviously a play on the saying "Wham! Bam! Thank you Ma’am!" It’ll be a saying you’ll be screaming every Sunday if you draft Cam Newton. He may have lost his top receivers from a year ago, but let’s be honest, there is not a major difference between Brandon LaFell and Kelvin Benjamin. What makes Cam a star fantasy option is his ability to make plays with his legs and his arm.
15 I Pitta the Fool – Dennis Pitta
Mr. T says “I Pitta the Fool who doesn't consider drafting Pitta this year”… okay well may he hasn't said this but Denis Pitta has returned to health and had a great season in 2012. So, there is no reason to believe that he won’t pick up where he left off. He should be drafted as a starting TE in most leagues, and as such when you beat your opponents, you can continue to pity the fools who drafted a worse team than you.
14 The Luckness Monster – Andrew Luck
Andrew Luck is one of the biggest and fastest rising stars in the NFL, and with the addition of Hakeem Nicks to a receiving core that already includes Reggie Wayne and T.Y. Hilton, Luck is poised to be a fantasy monster this year. As such, being compared to the legend of the Loch Ness Monster is quite appropriate and makes for the perfect Fantasy Team name if you happen to draft Andrew Luck.
13 Manziel in Distress – Johnny Manziel
With Johnny Football locked in a heated camp battle with Brian Hoyer for the starting QB job, his spot on fantasy teams will be no more than a backup QB with tremendous upside. Even if Manziel wins the starting job before the end of camp. Given his inclination to scramble, he may be distressed quite often this season, making this quite the fitting name. If the female fantasy football participants happen to draft Johnny Football and are willing to embrace the Damsel in Distress stereotype, this would be one of the funnier names they could use.
12 Ladies and Edelman – Julian Edelman
Well Ladies and Gentlemen, for those who didn't know, Julian Edelman became Tom Brady’s favorite target last season in the absence of Gronkowski and was a pleasant fantasy surprise. His 2013 fantasy performance not only turned him into a player well worth drafting in this year’s draft but it earned him the right to have a fantasy team named after him.
11 Dez-ed and Confused – Dez Bryant
Led Zeppelin’s Dazed and Confused is not only a rock classic, but it is exactly what Dez Bryant does to defenders. He leaves defenders wondering what they have to do to keep him out of the end zone. Defenders can’t stop Dez, they can only hope to contain him. If you are the lucky one to draft Dez and have an appreciation for old school rock and roll, this is the perfect name for your 2014 fantasy team!
10 Turn down for Watt – J.J. Watt
Though J.J. Watt will not be drafted in any standard league, he will be drafted in IDP drafts and, additionally, this name can be used if you happened to draft the Houston Texans defensive and special team unit. “Turn Down for What” by DJ Snake & Lil Jon was one of the most popular songs of 2014, which makes this team name one of the most modern references used in this list.
9 Everyday I’m Russelin’ – Russell Wilson
In most leagues, Russell Wilson won’t be drafted as a starter. However, this team name might be too good to pass up on if you happen to pick up Russell as your backup QB. In case you haven’t picked up on the reference yet, it is a play on the popular song by Rick Ross: "Hustlin’." To win your league, you will have to hustle and bustle your way to the top. If you have the propensity to make trades during your season and consider yourself a hustler in these trades, then this is the perfect team name for you.
8 Cruz’in for a Brusin’ – Victor Cruz
If you happen to grab Victor Cruz on draft day, this is a great name that can be used. Not only does this name creatively include Cruz’s name but it will likely give your team one of the more intimidating names in your league. Your league-mates will know what they are in for when you face off against them. Now it’s time to live up to this team name, and beat down others and take home the hardware this season.
7 Beats by Ray – Ray Rice
This is one of the more sensitive team names and shouldn't be used by the faint of heart. Beats by Dre is a popular set of headphones today, however, this play on words makes reference to why Ray Rice will be sitting out the first two weeks of the football season. Rice was involved in a physical altercation with his wife in the offseason and the reason this is to be considered quite the risqué fantasy name.
6 Make it Wayne – Reggie Wayne
Reggie may be coming off of a season ending ACL injury, however, he will likely still be drafted in most leagues and should still be fantasy relevant. The goal for all teams is to pour on the fantasy points week in and week out and stack those points sky high.T hose who do draft Reggie Wayne certainly will hope that he will be able to make it rain, or should I say Wayne, fantasy points.
5 Gotta Catch Jamaal – Jamaal Charles
This team name is more likely to resonate with managers who grew up in the 90s, who grew up playing and watching Pokémon as a child. This witty pun plays on the lyrics of the Pokémon theme song, which makes reference to catching them all, yet has the added bonus that Jamaal is one of the toughest backs in the NFL to catch in the open field and thus will have all your opponents screaming "Gotta Catch Jamaal."
4 Better Call Ball – Montee Ball
For those who haven’t watched the hit series Breaking Bad, this team name won’t make much sense to you. However, for those who have, this name is quite clever as it was the punchline for all of Saul Goodman’s commercials, which informed the public that if they got in trouble they “Better call Saul.” On top of that, there's a spinoff coming by the name of Better Call Saul. Saul was there when people needed to get out of trouble. The hope is that Ball will replace Moreno and be Manning’s check down option that will be able to help get Manning out of trouble.
3 Breesus, King of the Drews – Drew Brees
For those who draft one of the most consistent top tier QBs in fantasy football, this clever religious play on words is one that will leave both your fellow fantasy owners in stitches and wondering why this name has not been used before. Granted Jesus was actually a prophet in the Jewish religion, an argument can be made that Drew Brees is a true king among the fantasy QB rankings.
2 Percy Whipped – Percy Harvin
There are many men among the fantasy manager ranks that may consider their fellow owners to be at the beck and call of their female counterparts. If this applies to one or more of the members in your league (or yourself for that matter) and you happen to be willing to draft the injury –prone Percy Harvin, this play on words would be quite fitting and quite humorous.
1 Munchin’ on Bundchen – Tom Brady
This is by far one of the best team names this year, as it is both clever and has just the right amount of acceptable sexual innuendo. For those who don’t know, Tom Brady is not only a Superstar on the field but he’s done pretty well for himself in the love life department as well. He scored world famous model Gisele Bundchen as a wife, and thus the origins of Muchin’ on Bundchen.