Professional athletes do not make up a whole lot of this world. You would think they’re all over the place, but it’s mostly because they’re just in the limelight throughout the year, and then every four years when the best of the best come together to make about seven billion people realize their years of exercise and practice have not completely paid off. In honor of winter (in the Northern Hemisphere at least), we will focus on the incredible athletes who play on ice.
We’re talking specifically about the NHL because that’s where the best players in the world convene to showcase their talent every season. There’s just something about the toughness, the extreme athleticism, the grit, the beards, the missing teeth, the long hair flowing as they zoom down the ice on skates. Wait, what are we talking about here? Hockey or their sexual prowess? Well, both in a way. Hockey players tend to land some of the hottest wives and girlfriends in the world – I’m not over-exaggerating, it’s a very international sport so the claim is valid.
Many of these men are good-looking in their own way so you can see the natural attraction as they step out on the town with their brides or dates. For example, we could never blame Lauren Cosgrove for marrying T.J. Oshie because he’s an all right looking guy with a nice smile, baby face, and flowing hair; or WWE bombshell Barbie Blank (Kelly Kelly) for tying the knot with tattooed, dark-eyed Sheldon Souray. Of course we’re all going to have our opinions on which hockey player is hotter than the next… oops… I mean which hockey player’s girl is hotter, but there are a couple things we must point out. One: Some of these women are a little too hot for their men. Two: Some of these women are just girlfriends. In the words of Lloyd Christmas, “So you’re telling me there’s a shot?”
15. Blakeny Robertson Too Hot For Cory Perry
Blakeny Robertson is a very attractive woman; she may not be the hottest WAG, but it’s not the worst thing in the world to be at the end of this list. Frankly, if you’re one of the 15 most attractive girls on any list in comparison to the amount of women in the world then I believe you’re doing something right with your personal maintenance. With that being said, this may be more of a Corey Perry issue if anything. I’m sure the Ducks’ star is a great guy, but there is just something about his look that makes another man question how he landed his wife, Blakeny. Money? Limelight? Personality? Yeah, yeah, those are all good things, but there’s definitely a difference in appearance here. However, it could be that I believe Corey’s complexion doesn’t necessarily go well with Anaheim’s color scheme; he is a little too pale and a little too blond or red or orange or whatever for black, gold, purple, teal, and whatever other mess the Ducks throw on their uniforms.
14. Katie Hoaldridge Too Hot For Jamie Benn
There are levels of attractiveness. The aforementioned Blakeny Robertson is cute (which in some ways is the best), there is hot which represents lust and desire, there is beautiful which is virtually unattainable, and then there is pretty which is all relative. Katie Hoaldridge could probably fall under every one of these categories, but her athletic stature and ability separates her from the crowd in a pretty way. She is a model and an ex-Texas track star – a deadly combination. Her boyfriend, Jamie Benn, is a pretty darn good athlete himself, but is kind of two-faced in a different way. Katie has the looks and the athleticism to change from a gorgeous photo face to a game face. When I think of Jamie, I think of that Seinfeld episode where Jerry dates that woman who is good-looking only in certain lighting. Sometimes Jamie looks good, but sometimes he looks like a doofus.
13. Lauren Rodych Too Hot For Jordan Eberle
Jordan Eberle is one of the solid young players in the NHL, helping a good Oilers’ core bring glory back to Edmonton. They’ve been rebuilding for a long time, but I still wouldn’t hold your breath. Eberle’s girlfriend can definitely take your breath away though (that was a really lame transition). Lauren Rodych falls in the cute category with Blakeny Robertson. Lauren is a blonde down-to-earth woman who has a great smile and is crafty (in a non-criminal way). I think the fact that she sells tea and tea accessories makes her even cuter somehow. Eberle on the other hand, well, he looks like he sips on a special kind of tea from time to time because in many pictures I’ve seen of the guy his eyes are certainly looking a little lazy… or hazy I should say. I’m not implying anything that would make the NHL drug test the skater, but the stoned look isn’t something someone should strive for.
12. Melanie Collins Too Hot For Scottie Upshall
Oh boy, Melanie Collins. The only reason the model/sideline reporter is this far down on the list is because technically she is no longer an NHL WAG – so says the internet, and you have to trust everything Google says. Wait, what? So she’s available? Ahh, if I wasn’t so happily-married! Who am I kidding, who are all men kidding? On the other hand, if someone like Scottie Upshall could have dated her for quite some time then I guess anything is possible. Melanie is now probably one of the most eligible bachelorettes if she hasn’t already been swept off the market. I’m not sure if anyone is actually paying attention to the live sport she is covering or if they are gawking at her beauty. They probably don’t even know what she’s saying on the sidelines. To successfully distract a man from whatever game is on solely by looks is something to be quite proud of. Sports and Melanie at the same time: a senses overload.
11. Rachel Linke Too Hot For Sam Gagner
Let’s get this out of the way: there are worse-looking dudes in the world than Sam Gagner. Also, there are worse hockey players, so the guy isn’t half-bad at life. However, this necessarily isn’t so much that Rachel Linke is too hot to be his wife, but that fact that she is a doctor on top of being Canadian and incredibly-attractive makes her ideal in the eyes of many. So why Sam? Well, perhaps he was persistent, and he has a very good argument: his job requires high physical-risk and she can probably fix him up easily at home and without the use of Canada’s free health care. Okay, there’s obviously many more reasons of why the two are married – much to the chagrin of most men. However, I’m sure some patients purposely “need” medical attention if the chances of having Rachel tend to their “issues” are high. Just remember though, her husband plays hockey, so if you jokingly ask for a physical as a pick up line, you may end up going to the emergency room for different reasons.
10. Maripier Morin Too For Brandon Prust
I’m going to be comfortable with my sexuality once more and say that Brandon Prust is a good-looking guy, and the Montreal Canadians are lucky to have the talented player. He has a strong jaw and beautiful blue eyes – I guess I didn’t need to say that though. Maripier Morin may be a step above her fiancé. However, there have been claims of infidelity by the model/actress and rumors that the two are not a good match. Eesh, celebrity couples, when will they learn? Prust should be thankful he did date Maripier for quite some time; she certainly adds credibility to future females if in fact they do call it quits – or maybe they already have? Okay, men, you have two goals: Melanie Collins and Maripier Morin. Now go out there and get them, team! Be wary of burly obstacles with sticks and skates though. With that in mind, you’re probably better off without them. Just kidding, you’re not.
9. Cristine Prosperi Too Hot For Jeff Skinner
Young Jeff Skinner is a big part of the Carolina Hurricanes rebuilding structure. The franchise wishes to return to Stanley Cup glory because the drought – even though that’s a strange word choice while referring to North Carolina – has been going on for quite some time now without a glimmer of possible success. Skinner, on the other hand, is doing quite well in his personal life due to the fact that Cristine Prosperi is his girlfriend. There were rumors about Skinner’s infatuation with Taylor Swift turning into something more, but their 2013 meet and greet was nothing bigger than the media blowing things out of proportion as they like to do, for he was already involved with Cristine. Personally, I think Taylor looks like Artificial Intelligence minus the intelligence so Cristine is definitely the right choice. The Canadian actress is gorgeous and probably knows a lot more about hockey than Taylor. Good for you, Skinner, at least you have more confidence than looks.
8. Brenna McGuire Too Hot For Brandon Dubinsky
Born into a sports family, Brenna McGuire is the complete package. Al McGuire’s granddaughter was a star basketball player at Virginia – I know what you’re thinking, and yes, some female basketball players do date men; in fact, Brenna even married one! Her hockey husband is Brandon Dubinsky, the droopy-eyed Blue Jacket star who parts his hair strangely at times. An excellent hockey player, but his better-half is definitely the looker in the family. Brenna is not only athletic enough to compete at a high level, she is also a model who has graced the cover of magazines (the appropriate ones, unfortunately). If the couple chooses to have children, the kids will be blessed with quite the genes so hopefully they are taken advantage of – the genes, not the kids. However, let’s hope the looks come from their mother’s side as well. No offense, Dubinsky.
7. Elisha Cuthbert Too Hot For Dion Phaneuf
She was the girl next door in that movie (you should be able to figure out which one); the girl every teenage boy wished they lived next to. While every teenager ogled her from a safe distance, every man wished to be invited in. Dion Phaneuf landed Elisha Cuthbert and the two are now married, but the Ottawa defenseman wasn’t the first hockey player the Canadian actress courted. Sean Avery was linked to Elisha as well. I guess Avery is better looking than Phaneuf? Truthfully, I think they both look a little too goofy for Elisha, but she obviously has a thing for hockey players. I wonder which member of the couple is more famous though? Regarding international pop culture, Elisha of course. Regarding last names of people you can’t pronounce properly, the edge goes to Phaneuf. These Canadian girls know what they want; it’s the sport, not the man perhaps.
6. Carrie Underwood Too Hot For Mike Fisher
Then again, good old American country girls love hockey as well. Who would of thought the young American Idol Carrie Underwood would break out of her small-town Oklahoma shell and become the diva she is today? She definitely has the look to go with the voice, one of the purest beauties in the industry. Her husband, Mike Fisher, isn’t the worst-looking guy; he kind of has an odd brow like a caveman, but he certainly could defend his woman while those Oklahoman football players she knew in high school try to take her back to the farm. He would knock the straw right out of their mouths. However, it’s safe to say that more people are aware of Carrie’s fame rather than Fisher’s. This ranking is probably not as much of a WAG of NHL players, but a HAB of CMT stars. Hopefully you figure out what that stands for or Carrie may dig her keys into the side of your truck or take a Louisville slugger… I mean a Bauer stick to both headlights.
5. Lindsey Vecchione Too Hot For Jonathan Toews
Surprised that Carrie Underwood and Elisha Cuthbert were not in the top five? Well, it’s tough in the world of WAG’s. Lindsey Vecchione is probably the best example of hot there is. Then why is she number five? Since you’ve asked; it’s because she probably has the better looking dude of the women remaining. Jonathan Toews is the lucky boyfriend of this bombshell. The Chicago-native (I guess we can figure where they met now) is a model and a hairdresser, but she doesn’t need the latter. However, many people are quick to assume that blonde models only have their hair and body going for them, but Lindsey is also quite the athlete. She was a member of the Lingerie Football League – yep, they were actually playing football while you were staring at them; I wonder why you didn’t notice? She also modeled for a PSP advertisement in Playboy just so you know. This girl keeps getting better and better.
4. Emma Andersson Too Hot Henrik Zetterberg
Some may question why Emma Andersson is above Lindsey Vecchione, or even others who have been ranked above her. My answer: stop being so picky; you get to gawk at 15 of the most beautiful women in the world in one article and a simple scroll gets you back to the other pictures. There are actually two reasons Emma is number four. First, she’s Swedish and we all know that’s where all the beautiful people are, even the men. Second, Henrik Zetterberg is her husband and he’s not the greatest looking of guys which makes my previous statement a tad exaggerated because he too is Swedish. He’s also a darn good hockey player though. Emma is tough as nails as well, coming to fame while competing in Sweden’s version of Survivor, Expedition Robinson. In addition, she is a singer and a television personality. If you’re a good-looking celebrity in Sweden than you’re easily one of the hottest women in the world.
3. Noureen Dewulf Too Hot For Ryan Miller
Noureen Dewulf is benefiting from her husband’s appearance in regards to this list, skyrocketing her up to the third spot. Don’t get me wrong, she is drop-dead gorgeous, but that’s why her marriage to Ryan Miller is odd from a physical attraction standpoint. Actually, considering his play with the Canucks, he doesn’t have the whole goaltending thing going for him at the moment either. Honestly, it could be the defense as well because he’s still good at his position. We’re definitely not in Buffalo anymore, Miller. However, he has been able to keep his beautiful bride since 2011 and things continue to be strong. Noureen is a smart girl so we will assume she knew what she was doing marrying Miller. She is fluent in four languages, a cultured woman, and an actress (that doesn’t necessarily support the claim to intelligence, just an added bonus).
2. Nastya Shubskaya Too Hot For Alex Ovechkin
There’s just something about Russian women. It’s not the fact that you can get them in the mail, it’s not the fact that even though they look angry it’s still irresistibly seductive, it’s not the fact they’re generally tall and slim, but it’s probably… okay, it’s all that. Nastya Shubskaya (it’s a name, trust me) is a Russian socialite, model, and aspiring actress who is now married to superstar Alexander Ovechkin of the Washington Capitals. Ovechkin is lucky he’s so good at hockey because the guy doesn’t even seem to try to put himself together. However, maybe that’s the Russian look, or maybe he just concentrates on his job so much that he doesn’t care about appearance. If you’re showing up to black-tie events with missing teeth and disheveled hair, then I believe that to be the case – and maybe that’s also why he’s so good. However, with Nastya by his side no one is looking at Ovechkin anyway.
1. Anna Kasterova Too Hot For Evegeni Malkin
This was the toughest one-two ranking yet. Both Anna Kasterova and Nastya Shubskaya are Russian models who are married to the two best Russian hockey players – arguably two of five best players in the world. Anna gets the edge over Nastya not because Evgeni Malkin is worse-looking than Alexander Ovechkin, but because Anna is a tad more established. She is a model, obviously, but also a journalist making Russian television a lot easier to watch – I assume it’s very difficult to tune in to, but that may because I don’t know Russian and don’t really like continuous angry shouting. This is probably why they make mute buttons on televisions. Though Malkin is better-looking than Ovechkin, he still has this certain dorky dull look to him similar to Eli Manning, so it boggles the mind how he was able to snag Anna. Sometimes the world just doesn’t make sense. With all this being said, sure, the women in these relationships may be more attractive than their men, but that shouldn’t take away from their loving relationships. Frankly, they’re cooler than us average Joe’s. Get it, cooler, hockey pun? You’ll get it.
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