They say it is a case of the good, the bad and the downright ugly. But appearances can certainly be deceptive at times especially on the field of play. After all, today's modern footballers are surrounded by swarms of agents who want nothing but the best for their client. This includes a number of different endorsements as well as sponsorship deals endorsing their man.
Money talks and the impact of advertising can do wonders to a footballers mug. Take for example David Beckham who has used his notoriety not to mention his face to achieve maximum impact. Not only has Becks been the star of a host of ad campaigns for leading brands such as D&G but he has gone on to model for the likes of H&M. In addition, he has even launched his own whisky brand thanks to Brand Beckham. One cannot deny the significance of having an attractive demure in order to clinch those all important lucrative deals. As a footballer's career is so short, this is even more essential as he really has to work hard on and off the pitch to earn as much money as possible.
Another successful former professional who ticked all the right boxes in terms of looks was David James. The former West Ham United, Liverpool and Aston Villa shot stopper was literally a player in his day. He was signed up to Dolce and Gabbana in order to front a few campaigns. On the other hand there are those individuals who have not been so fortunate when it comes to the handsome stakes. Through no fault of their own, they have not been blessed in the looks department and may wait an eternity for a modelling contract to drop through the mail. Whether they have been lambasted for their hair style or something else here is the rundown of the top 10 ugliest premier league players of all time.
17 Neville Southall
The Welsh keeper made 578 appearances for Everton. There's no doubt Neville Southall was one of the best of his generation, but where he was blessed in his ability didn't translate to the looks department. Perhaps his appearance could have been salvaged with a different haircut, or perhaps a neatly trimmed beard rather than a mustache. Since retiring Southall has had a few stints in coaching at different levels.
16 David Hopkin
The Scotsman spent most of his career at Crystal Palace and Leeds United. He is currently an assistant head coach at Livingston. Something about his appearance just never seems quite right, whether it's his haircut, his ears or some facial expressions he makes.
Hopkin didn't make all that many appearances for his country, but he did manage two goals in his seven caps.
14 Steve Bruce
The current manager at Hull City was also quite the player in his day. Bruce made over 300 appearances for Manchester United, a feat not many could claim. But he wasn't a looker then, and he's not one now.
Steve Bruce also spent some significant time with Gillingham, making over 200 appearances for the club and bounced around a little after his Man U days, going to Birmingham City and Sheffield United.
13 Jimmy Bullard
Jimmy Bullard is living proof that long locks of blonde hair are no guarantee for good looks, despite what fairy tales may have conveyed. The former Wigan Athletic midfielder has actually made some television appearances since retiring from the EPL. This past November, he was a contestant in I'm a Celebrity... Get Me Outta' Here! Not many would think he has the looks suited for TV, but there he was.
12 Phil Jones
Phil Jones might have been able to avoid this list had he kept a straight face in his games, but he has provided us with some hideous contortions. Jones has given Manchester United some splendid play on the pitch, but he clearly wasn't signed for his looks. Jones has made 89 appearances for the Red Devils and has 14 caps to his name for the national team. In any event, Jones isn't paid for his looks and he shines in what he is paid to do.
10 Carlos Tevez
Having bagged a few goals to send Juventus through to the UEFA Champions League Quarter Finals, Carlos Tevez is a definite contender. Having played for both sides of Manchester featuring in both the red and blue of City and United, Tevez had his plaudits. With his never say die attitude, he had the ability to chase down many balls during his time in the North West of England. However, the former West Ham United player drew plenty of controversy when he made the move across Manchester to play for City. Yet poor Carlos has made it into the list not for his footballing prowess but more for his looks.
9 Martin Keown
Known for his aggressive tackling and no nonsense attitude, former Gunner Martin Keown is another front runner for the all time ugliest Premier League player. The ex-Aston Villa and Everton defender was an integral part of the successful Arsenal team which won the double and went on a 49-game unbeaten streak. Anyone who want to know why he is in should only have to look at his reaction after Ruud Van Nistelrooy missed a penalty for Manchester United at Old Trafford. His brusque treatment of the Dutch striker would have put anyone off their dinner. In fact many of the Tottenham Hotspur supporters allegedly had a chant for Keown. This was along the lines of "Keown's got a monkey's head." as they taunted one of Wenger's boys when the North London rivals faced each other.
8 Wayne Rooney
Down the years, there have been many comparisons to what Wayne Rooney resembles much to his detriment. This of course far outweighs his talents on the field for Manchester United but nevertheless some of the list includes a potato as well as Shrek. Some supporters even went further by producing some Shrek style masks which they have already worn to some of the games involving the former Everton front man. It appears that the number 10 is not in the slightest bit distracted and has been a main player for the Red Devils over the last decade. On current form, he is one of the most consistent performers in the red shirt despite a transitional period which is taking place at Old Trafford. Add on top of this his lucrative boot deals and wages which are currently in excess of half a million dollars a week and Rooney is without doubt having the last laugh.
Ivory Coast international Gervinho is another player who rates quite highly on this particular list. After Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger brought him over from France, there was much promise for this rising star. However, Gervinho failed to make a significant impact at the Emirates and was soon shipped on Serie A side AS Roma. Thanks to his headband and his increasingly large forehead, it is little wonder Jose Mourinho could park the bus on it.
6 Gareth Bale
After a record $140 million plus transfer from Tottenham Hotspur to Real Madrid, Gareth Bale has often been the purge of many. This has been largely in part down to his face which many have compared and contrasted to Planet of the Apes. It is unfortunate for the Welsh international but this has not detracted from the fact that he has blossomed in the white of Los Blancos. This includes scoring the equalizer in last year's Champions League Final which Real won by four goals to one. In addition to this, Bale also scored the winning goal in the victory over Barcelona which Real won by two goals to one.
5 Francis Jeffers
If ever there was a football journeyman then Francis Jeffers has to be right up there. After signing for a staggering $15 million he donned the red of Arsenal. However, all good things must come to an end and this is what precisely happened if a little quicker with Jeffers's career at the Gunners. He only managed to bag four goals in a hopeless career in North London. His nomadic journey took him to several other teams north and south of the border which saw Jeffers play for Motherwell amongst other sides. His soccer talents somewhat paled to insignificance and eventually he hung up his boots for good.
4 Dirk Kuyt
Often compared to Sloth who starred in one of the all time classic movies the Goonies, former Liverpool marksman Dirk Kuyt is a member of the top 10. The ex-Dutch international player had an impressive playing career and made a great contribution to Liverpool's trophy haul in most recent years. He helped the Merseysiders overcome Chelsea in the UEFA Champions League semi finals and is even a record holder in his own right. This is for the latest penalty ever scored in injury time which came when Kuyt scored against Arsenal from the penalty spot in the 102nd minute.
3 Peter Beardsley
Considered to be one of the most influential players to have graced the black and white of Newcastle United, Peter Beardsley makes it into the top three, or bottom three, depending on how you look at it. The former Liverpool midfielder made the move to Tyneside where he struck up an impressive partnership with Andy Cole. This was to be a formidable partnership which netted Cole a bagful of goals. Meanwhile, the Geordie boy enjoyed several years playing at Anfield with several illustrious players including John Barnes as well as Ian Rush and Bruce Grobbelaar. After his departure from Liverpool, Beardsley then went on to play for a wealth of clubs from Bolton Wanderers and Manchester City to Vancouver Whitecaps and Hartlepool United.
2 Luke Chadwick
It has been a long and winding road for Luke Chadwick which has ended up at what looks like his final footballing stop. Currently, he is turning out for Cambridge United in the lower leagues and even had an emotional reunion with his former side Manchester United in this season's FA Cup. It was at Old Trafford where Chadwick made a name for himself and appeared on several occasions with members who were soon to become Fergie's Fledglings. This featured Ryan Giggs not to mention Paul Scholes, David Beckham and Gary Neville as Ferguson built his dynasty around these young players. Poor Chadwick, imagine him having to stand next to Beckham! Yet for Chadwick, he he was unable to hold down a first team slot. In the end, he was moved on and went to several clubs including Burnley before heading to Cambridge.
1 Iain Dowie
Ex-Southampton player Iain Dowie takes top spot and is known for his often bemused look. Whilst in the Premier League, Dowie managed to pull on the shirt for clubs including West Ham United and Crystal Palace. He also dabbled in management with spells at Palace, whilst at Charlton Athletic, Dowie was involved in a disastrous campaign and they parted company after just fifteen games in charge. He now plies his trade on the media side as a television pundit.
Wow, didn't any producer tell him he had a better face for radio?