While they complete feats of daring-do with varying degrees of success on a near-daily basis for our amusement, it’s important to keep in mind that pro wrestlers are just like you and I. They have their coffee in the morning, they work hard for at least eight hours, they get harassed by slack-jawed yokels at the airport, and when their tasks for the day have all been concluded, they’ve got to get properly torn the heck up.
WWE would like us to believe otherwise and keep its human action figures on pedestals above us mere mortals, but we all know the truth. Here, we’ve collected photos of multiple big name sports entertainers enjoying glorious, life-affirming, perfectly legal and easily obtainable booze.*
It’s important to remember that everyone depicted in these photos is over the age of 21. If you are under 21 years old, we discourage drinking alcohol, even if you have a sufficiently convincing fake ID or know someone who will purchase alcohol on your behalf. It’s also important to only consume alcohol in responsible, reasonable amounts. Sure, you might be able to impress your buddies by shotgunning 13 cans of PBR in a row, but their mild admiration won’t do you much good when you wake up in the morning naked in a dumpster behind Whole Foods, with no recollection of the events that led you to this sorry state.
We drink. Wrestlers drink. So do police officers, fire marshals, tax attorneys, and obviously, your mom. The Budweiser Corporation continues to make billions of dollars every year. Feast your eyes upon these pictures of wrestlers in varying degrees of intoxication, experience their inebriation vicariously, and feel their drunken power in your gullet.
Here’s Paige enjoying a post-match brew. Literally anyone can drink beer out of a plastic cup and have someone else take a picture, but only the mighty few like Saraya-Jade Bevis can do so while looking like a total ass kicker.
She claims otherwise, but it nonetheless seems plausible a tendency to party landed her and boyfriend Alberto Del Rio in WWE’s doghouse when they both failed a Wellness Policy Exam back in August. To indulge in baseless speculation -- which, we admit, is a little irresponsible -- it’s a little suspicious that both members of a couple were suspended for flunking the substance screener at the same time. WWE wouldn’t suspend two of their most talented, hard-working employees for something as trivial as smoking marijuana, would they?
14 Dean Ambrose
Because of his mannerisms and the way he slightly slurs his speech while doing promos, we have no real way to tell the difference between Dean Ambrose after 11 beers and Dean Ambrose sober. But he might have a legitimate buzz on in this photo! Blood loss lowers alcohol tolerance, which is why it’s inadvisable to pound a handle of Rubinoff after participating in a blood donation drive or to do much drinking at all after you’ve experienced heavy blood loss.
However, Dean Ambrose drinks beer and then pretends to hit people in the brain and then drinks more beer. He doesn't need to follow these needless rule, he's The Lunatic Fringe... or whatever he was called at this time.
13 Bo Dallas
We switch focus to a unique situation that shows a wrestler after he consumed some serious amount of alcohol.
Airplane rides can be pretty darn boring. Knocking back a few makes for a dandy way to pass the time, but you’ve got to be careful to not overdo it. Otherwise, you could end up like Bo Dallas did in August and get booted off your flight for singing your favorite song from the Lion King soundtrack, then telling concerned attendants to go make sweet love to themselves after they tell you to stop.
12 The Sandman
The Sandman is completely wasted in literally every picture that’s ever been taken of him, so we just picked one that truly looked the part. “Stone Cold” Steve Austin gets all the credit for pounding beers before and after his matches, but enlightened fans understand that it was The Sandman who originally came up with the idea of wrestling while ridiculously hammered without trying to hide his impairment.
11 The Hardys
Here's another picture that shows the effects of alcoholic after being consumed heavily.
10 Chris Jericho
As a truly memorable weekend bender winds down to a close, there’s almost nothing sadder than realizing you’ve finally run out of vodka. Chris Jericho understands this as well as anyone, as demonstrated by his forlorn expression in this photo. Interestingly enough, The Ayatollah of Rock ‘n Rolla happens to be wearing a vintage Meat Loaf T-shirt, which would be an example of quintessential hipster irony, except he’s not wearing it ironically.
9 The Iron Sheik
Not unlike the aforementioned Sandman, The Iron Sheik is severely intoxicated at all times and is therefore drunk in literally every picture of him that exists. Sheik made a history-altering mistake in 1984 by refusing Verne Gagne’s request to snap Hulk Hogan’s leg like a turkey's wishbone and prevent Hulkamania from running wild once and for all. That single act of mercy and compassion ultimately led to dozens of hard working journalists losing their jobs when Hogan bankrupted Gawker in a frivolous lawsuit. It also allowed the "main event" of Halloween Havoc 1998 to happen, plus numerous other atrocities Hogan would go on to commit.
8 John Cena
Here’s a screen grab from Total Divas in which Nikki Bella hurls a cup of beer in John Cena’s face, presumably because he has said or done something that Nikki Bella did not agree with. We would have to find and watch this particular episode of Total Divas to determine exactly what event has made Bella so cross with her World Champion fiance. We can sort of guess what might be going on, though! Perhaps Cena implied 15 smaller World Championship reigns are superior to a single record-setting tenure at the top of the proverbial hill? Maybe he’s so belligerently plastered that he called Nikki a bad word? Maybe he didn’t do either of those things and Bella’s only throwing beer in his face by accident?
7 Chris Jericho Again (Also, Kelly Kelly)
Here’s Chris Jericho and some fans partaking in a round of those little vials of syrupy, brightly-colored booze friendly ladies hand out at the type of bars that draw a big college crowd. Aren’t those little promotional vials weird? Like, they taste like a blend of cough medicine and Dr. Pepper, so even if you decide to have another $1 sample, you’d certainly never buy an entire glass of the stuff, right?
During his WWE career, Batista could have been easily mistaken as a deeply unhappy, angry man, who needed to power bomb the ever-lovin’ bejesus out of people to quell his boundless rage. Since then, evidence has surfaced that contradicts the notion that fury is the only emotion that can exist in Batista’s giant heart.
Sheamus and Drew Galloway shared quite the friendship, they've also been shown together in ridiculous Halloween costumes under the influence. That picture shows no alcohol, but considering Sheamus has a giant white toy in his mouth and Galloway is attired in the manner of a stereotypical pimp for some reason, it seems obvious that the two have blood alcohol levels that could rival that of Saint Lemmy himself.
4 Shawn Michaels
While hyping an upcoming match with the British Bulldog (RIP) back in the '90s, HBK was insanely ramped up on drugs, at least according to legend. But nothing goes better with two or three quality lines of nose candy than a tasty mix of top-shelf whiskey and your favorite tonic. Shawn Michaels knows this, therefore it’s safe to assume he’s also a little drunk in this photo.
Many people assume “Stone Cold” Steve Austin and The Man Called Goldberg can’t stand each other, simply because Goldberg totally stole Steve Austin’s look. But this is not so. Never underestimate the power of bald men’s abilities to feel compassion toward one another. It’s on a nearly psychic level.
2 The Undertaker & Bret Hart
Here we have a photo taken likely sometime during the ‘90s, which includes The Undertaker, Paul Bearer, Bret Hart, Tatanka, the performer who at that time was known as the 1-2-3 Kid, and a blonde woman who may or may not be a public figure of some sort.
1 Andre The Giant
Standing a few notches above seven feet tall and weighing 500 pounds gave Andre a legendarily high threshold for alcohol consumption. Apparently it was not at all uncommon for him to smash down between 125 and 150 beers in a single sitting. Here, Andre appears with a man who is not as big as Andre is and the man is pointing to the beers, as if to indicate “Now is the time to drink these beers, Mr. Giant Man. Do this, and then I will fetch you more.” To this request, we can guess Andre like said something along the lines of “Sure thing, man who is not as big as me, but who I nonetheless respect for his beer providing abilities.”
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