Let’s think about legendary American substance addicts. There was Edgar Allan Poe, F. Scott Fitzgerald, Babe Ruth, basically every single glam metal musician from the ‘80s, Courtney Love, Rush Limbaugh, and a young George W. Bush. These are accomplished, highly-recognizable drunken individuals, one and all. But there are only really two professional wrestlers whose in-ring accomplishments are matched only by their heights of hard partying: Jake “The Snake” Roberts, and “The Bad Guy” Scott Hall.
As the story goes, Hall became a big honkin’ WWE star under the alias “Razor Ramon” in the ‘90s. He was also an influential member of the “Kliq” - a squad of backstage politicians who controlled Vince McMahon for a time. Then he went on to co-found the nWo with Kevin Nash and Hulk Hogan. Scott Hall did lots of significant things in pretend fighting! He was a big deal!
Then, Hall underwent a decade-plus long downward spiral that led to him (not even exaggerating) praying for death at a few of his lowest points. Since then, Hall’s entered the fourth quarter of his life’s Behind The Music trajectory, and frankly, it’s nice to hear that he’s reported discovered something akin to a light at the end of the tunnel (or, at least something aside from another tunnel). Hall’s led one heck of a life, boy howdy.
But when you’re as drunk as Scott Hall used to be, which was very, very drunk, you’re probably going to get up to some crazy shenanigans. But amid all the focus on his substance abuse, it’s easy to forget about plenty of equally-bizarre happenings from Hall’s career that had little or nothing to do with his substance abuse.
Here, we’ve compiled just a handful of some of the least believable yet astoundingly true chapters from The Bad’s Guy’s ongoing saga. Let us learn from his triumphs by always pointing to our crotches and reminding our opponents to tuck their chins whilst taking the Razor’s Edge. We can also learn from his mistakes and never grow a horrible mustaches.
14 Scott Hall Invented Razor Ramon
13 Scott Hall Killed A Guy In Self-Defense in 1983
Way back during the Reagan years, a young Hall was forced to shoot another man in the head at an Orlando nightclub. According to Hall’s account of the story - which the courts have basically signed off on - a disagreement over a young lady’s affections led to a club patron running outside and breaking all the windows in Hall’s car. Hall chased him down and the ruffian had the lack of sense to pull a gun during the scuffle. Hall grappled the gun away from his adversary, and, amid the confusion, well, "boom."
12 Scott Hall Used To Have An Embarrassing Porn Star Mustache
11 Scott Hall Was Briefly a Cowboy
10 Scott Hall Got Arrested For Domestic Assault in 2012
9 Scott Hall Got Arrested For Shoving A Terrible Comedian in 2008
8 Scott Hall Got Beat Up Because Kevin Nash Threw A Chair At Jerry Sags
The Nasty Boys weren't known as the safest, most stable workers in the world and this one counts as an "Insane Jerry Sags story" more than a Scott Hall story. Essentially, during the early era of The Outsiders in 1997 WCW, Hall accidentally potatoed Jerry Sags badly enough to give the saner half of The Nasties a concussion. Hall apologized and all was well.
7 Scott Hall Beat The Snot Out Of Marty Jannetty Over A Hotel Room Bill (That Wasn't Jannetty's Fault)
If Marty Jannetty was famous enough for his hi-jinx to become headlines, we could likely put together a list of 15 Insane Marty Jannetty stories. But as it is, he's only making a cameo in a Scott Hall list.
The story goes that, long before Jannetty or Hall made it to the WWE, Marty Jannetty and a wrestler named D.J. Peterson developed a habit of trashing hotel rooms whilst conducting the type of glorious depravity specific to heavy partiers of the 1980s. On one such occasion, Peterson checked into a hotel room under the name "Scott Hall," apparently without letting Jannetty know their havoc was conducted in the name of one of his larger colleges.
In arguably the least crazy incident on this entire list, Hall got nailed for disorderly conduct and resisting arrest at a place called the Hitching Post Bar about six years ago. From the sound of things, it was one of those fiascoes that was newsworthy for the exclusive reason of Hall’s preexisting wrestling fame.
6 WWE Spent at least $1,000,000 on Scott Hall's Rehab
ESPN’s E:60 mini-documentary on Hall’s rise and fall might have its problems - particularly the beginning, in which purported journalists imply that drugs are no longer a problem in the wrestling business. Nonetheless, the show reveals some intriguing facts.
5 WWE Probably Could’ve Just Sent Scott Hall To Dallas Page To Rehab Him For Free
Scott Hall and Jake “The Snake” Roberts have both heaped credit on “Diamond” Dallas Page’s life coaching for helping them stay on the straight and narrow path in recent years. While DDP's a noted motivational speaker and yogi, he's not really a substance abuse counselor by trade. So doesn’t it seem odd that Page appears to have succeeded where so many other drug and alcohol recovery programs obviously didn’t stick for Hall or Roberts?
4 Scott Hall's Chest Is Full Of Devices
3 Scott Hall Got Kicked Out of Some Lame Indie Show, Even Though He’s Really Famous
2 Showed Up To A Fall River Indie Show The Day After A Stroke, Immediately ODed after
Anyone who’s seen footage of Hall’s 2011 Top Rope Promotions Fall River, MA, fiasco knows it belongs in the Ugly Public Meltdown Hall of Fame. Hall arrived at the event in no condition to perform, or walk, or talk, or do anything at all, really. At some point, he mustered up the energy to cut a promo on England, where he thought he was, instead of New England, which we should clarify for our geographically disinclined readers, is where the American state of Massachusetts is located.
The moral of the story - If you have a seizure and have to go to the hospital, cancel any scheduled wrestling appearances for the immediate future, especially if your doctor prescribes you a soma sandwich for treatment. And if you’re an indie promoter and your star attraction shows up to your event far beyond salvaging, consider the long term benefits of biting the bullet and doling out the refunds.
1 Scott Hall Survived
Over the course of his life, Scott Hall has consumed more alcohol and drugs than the city of Austin will during the SXSW festival this month. Yet not only is he still alive, he’s keeping his act together enough to do commercials for WWE video games. He’s become one of those old wrestlers WWE can prop up and say “See, everybody? We’re not the evil company everyone makes us out to be! Some of our former employees do survive the real world after we knock them out from under our umbrella! And we’ll take credit when they do.” But WWE shouldn’t pat themselves on the back too hard, ‘cause ultimately, if anyone rescues or has rescued Scott Hall from booze ‘n drugs, it's Scott Hall. And we couldn't be happier for him.
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