Let’s think about legendary American substance addicts. There was Edgar Allan Poe, F. Scott Fitzgerald, Babe Ruth, basically every single glam metal musician from the ‘80s, Courtney Love, Rush Limbaugh, and a young George W. Bush. These are accomplished, highly-recognizable drunken individuals, one and all. But there are only really two professional wrestlers whose in-ring accomplishments are matched only by their heights of hard partying: Jake “The Snake” Roberts, and “The Bad Guy” Scott Hall.
As the story goes, Hall became a big honkin’ WWE star under the alias “Razor Ramon” in the ‘90s. He was also an influential member of the “Kliq” - a squad of backstage politicians who controlled Vince McMahon for a time. Then he went on to co-found the nWo with Kevin Nash and Hulk Hogan. Scott Hall did lots of significant things in pretend fighting! He was a big deal!
Then, Hall underwent a decade-plus long downward spiral that led to him (not even exaggerating) praying for death at a few of his lowest points. Since then, Hall’s entered the fourth quarter of his life’s Behind The Music trajectory, and frankly, it’s nice to hear that he’s reported discovered something akin to a light at the end of the tunnel (or, at least something aside from another tunnel). Hall’s led one heck of a life, boy howdy.
But when you’re as drunk as Scott Hall used to be, which was very, very drunk, you’re probably going to get up to some crazy shenanigans. But amid all the focus on his substance abuse, it’s easy to forget about plenty of equally-bizarre happenings from Hall’s career that had little or nothing to do with his substance abuse.
Here, we’ve compiled just a handful of some of the least believable yet astoundingly true chapters from The Bad’s Guy’s ongoing saga. Let us learn from his triumphs by always pointing to our crotches and reminding our opponents to tuck their chins whilst taking the Razor’s Edge. We can also learn from his mistakes and never grow a horrible mustaches.
In the silly gimmick-based years of the WWE, it wasn’t at all uncommon for Vince and his underlings to hire a bankable talent, then saddle them with a worthless character guaranteed to draw no money and ruin their careers. By the time 1993 rolled around, rumor has it that the writers planned to remake “Big” Scott Hall into an army guy of some sort. As arrangements were made for Hall's WWE unveiling, according E:60, he said to Vince McMahon, “If you want me to be GI Joe, I’ll be the best GI Joe I can be. But have you ever seen Scarface?”
Way back during the Reagan years, a young Hall was forced to shoot another man in the head at an Orlando nightclub. According to Hall’s account of the story - which the courts have basically signed off on - a disagreement over a young lady’s affections led to a club patron running outside and breaking all the windows in Hall’s car. Hall chased him down and the ruffian had the lack of sense to pull a gun during the scuffle. Hall grappled the gun away from his adversary, and, amid the confusion, well, "boom."
Moral of the story: It’s not a good idea to carry a gun around, even if it's legal in your state to do so. And it’s definitely not a good idea to carry a gun around if you’re planning on getting crazy loaded and fighting a body builder over some women at a nightclub.
Unless you’re Morrissey - who unquestionably had a great decade - you probably did some things you regret in the ‘80s. During those years, President Ronald Reagan cancelled all taxes for the wealthy elite so they could buy more expensive things and invented crack to keep poor people distracted while he cancelled their second amendment rights by selling all of America’s guns to Iran. This writer soiled his own pants on innumerable occasions during the '80s, so he's in no position to judge. Meanwhile, Scott Hall had the world’s stupidest mustache.
As you can see in his old WWC promos, Hall had already begun developing the mannerisms that made his Razor Ramon persona so memorable in 1991, before his WWE or WCW tenures. But why was he ever a cowboy? Weren’t cowboys more or less outdated and antiquated by the early ‘90s? We’re certainly not agricultural experts here at TheSportster, but it seems like the The Meat and Dairy Industrial Complex would’ve negated any need for society to employ animal herders by this point in history. Nonetheless, some booker thought it made sense for Scott Hall to be a cowboy because wrestling isn’t real and is frequently stupid.
As Scott Hall could tell you, sometimes, drinking is loads of fun. Sometimes it leads to horrible, life-destroying unintended consequences. Like on this occasion, as reported by TMZ, in which the former Razor Ramon apparently choked his girlfriend after drinking heavily “for days” in 2012. The police had to take Hall to a hospital to sober up before they could officially book him at the station, and the odds that Hall remembers much of this incident appear entirely unlikely.
As has been well-documented, comedian Jimmy Graham was employed to crack funny lines for a 2008 roast of The Iron Sheik. During said roast, Graham observed, “After the Iron Sheik and 'Hacksaw' Jim Duggan got caught snorting coke in the parking lot, his career fell faster than Owen Hart.” Hall, in response, stormed the podium, roughed up Graham a wee bit, and delivered a sanctimonious speech about how it’s not okay to make fun of Owen Hart. Understandably upset that Hall intruded on his spotlight, The Sheik promised to f@#$ Hall in the @#$ and make him humble at an undisclosed point in the future.
The Nasty Boys weren't known as the safest, most stable workers in the world and this one counts as an "Insane Jerry Sags story" more than a Scott Hall story. Essentially, during the early era of The Outsiders in 1997 WCW, Hall accidentally potatoed Jerry Sags badly enough to give the saner half of The Nasties a concussion. Hall apologized and all was well.
Then, a few nights later, a chair fell seemingly from the sky and tagged Sags in the back of the head. Sags assumed Hall had tossed the chair, and proceeded to stop pretend fighting Hall and start regular fighting Hall. As The Outsiders were pretty much WCW's biggest draw at the time, both Nasty Boys were promptly fired. Sags sued the company for wrongful termination, but wound up feeling stupid despite winning the case. As it turns out, Nash was actually the guy who threw the chair. Nash denies this, but c'mon. We all know Kevin Nash loves to throw chairs.
If Marty Jannetty was famous enough for his hi-jinx to become headlines, we could likely put together a list of 15 Insane Marty Jannetty stories. But as it is, he's only making a cameo in a Scott Hall list.
The story goes that, long before Jannetty or Hall made it to the WWE, Marty Jannetty and a wrestler named D.J. Peterson developed a habit of trashing hotel rooms whilst conducting the type of glorious depravity specific to heavy partiers of the 1980s. On one such occasion, Peterson checked into a hotel room under the name "Scott Hall," apparently without letting Jannetty know their havoc was conducted in the name of one of his larger colleges.
Word inevitably got around to Hall that he might be in trouble for trashing a hotel room he had never set foot in. The future Bad Guy identified the culprits, or so he thought, and smacked the bejesus out of Jannetty, who up until that point had been sleeping on a table and had no idea why Hall was so mad at him. The two later reconciled.
In arguably the least crazy incident on this entire list, Hall got nailed for disorderly conduct and resisting arrest at a place called the Hitching Post Bar about six years ago. From the sound of things, it was one of those fiascoes that was newsworthy for the exclusive reason of Hall’s preexisting wrestling fame.
Let’s face it - we’ve all been kicked out of a bar or two. Some of us - TheSportster writers, for instance - have been kicked out of several bars. But without passing judgement, we can learn the moral of the story - If you’re going to drink, don’t go to a bar. The drinks are really expensive, and you’ll get tossed out if you get too rambunctious. Instead, find a dark corner in which to to drink alone and pass out harmlessly.
ESPN’s E:60 mini-documentary on Hall’s rise and fall might have its problems - particularly the beginning, in which purported journalists imply that drugs are no longer a problem in the wrestling business. Nonetheless, the show reveals some intriguing facts.
For instance, Hall claims to have totaled at least eight Cadillac cars in his lifetime, and for a while, ceased to drive completely knowing himself to be a danger behind the wheel. In the same doc, Stephanie McMahon claims WWE dropped six figures worth of dough into sending their former workhorse to several high end rehab facilities. Granted, Stephanie McMahon finds million dollar bills between her sofa cushions every now and again, so it's not as if WWE made a major sacrifice to help Hall get healthy. But it goes to show that rehab is way more expensive than people may realize.
Scott Hall and Jake “The Snake” Roberts have both heaped credit on “Diamond” Dallas Page’s life coaching for helping them stay on the straight and narrow path in recent years. While DDP's a noted motivational speaker and yogi, he's not really a substance abuse counselor by trade. So doesn’t it seem odd that Page appears to have succeeded where so many other drug and alcohol recovery programs obviously didn’t stick for Hall or Roberts?
Most substance abuse experts would probably agree that there’s no one-size-fits-all style treatment for addicts. Maybe Hall and Roberts needed guidance from another wrestler - even one who hadn’t experience similar chemical-related strife - to keep them sober?
As of 2010, a small metal object keeps Hall’s heart rate from dropping to the point where it would suck at pumping blood to the rest of his body and lead to the end of his life. We’re actually unclear on whether it’s one device called a pacemaker/defibrillator, or two devices, a pacemaker, and a defibrillator. Us = Not Doctors. But in either case, Hall isn’t opposed to having his body parts replaced with inorganic objects. After his hip replacement, he told “Stone Cold” Steve Austin that he would consider “going totally mechanical” if the opportunity presented itself. Which it might - if he lives long enough to experience the cyborg revolution of 2036.
Here’s a TMZ clip of Hall getting escorted off the premises of some New Jersey fairground. It’s kind of unclear what led up to Hall getting booted out. The video’s caption said the bookers complained that he was hired to wrestle, yet showed up too wasted to do so. But if he was ever expected to wrestle, why isn’t he wearing his wrestling gear? If there was footage of Hall shoving someone or acting out of control, wouldn’t TMZ have included that? We’re guessing the security guards didn’t recognize Razor Ramon and mistook him for a wacky drunk guy bothering the fancy pro wrestlers, which only shows their ignorance. Unless there’s more to the story, it’s the guards who should’ve been kicked out of the city fair, not Hall.
Anyone who’s seen footage of Hall’s 2011 Top Rope Promotions Fall River, MA, fiasco knows it belongs in the Ugly Public Meltdown Hall of Fame. Hall arrived at the event in no condition to perform, or walk, or talk, or do anything at all, really. At some point, he mustered up the energy to cut a promo on England, where he thought he was, instead of New England, which we should clarify for our geographically disinclined readers, is where the American state of Massachusetts is located.
The moral of the story - If you have a seizure and have to go to the hospital, cancel any scheduled wrestling appearances for the immediate future, especially if your doctor prescribes you a soma sandwich for treatment. And if you’re an indie promoter and your star attraction shows up to your event far beyond salvaging, consider the long term benefits of biting the bullet and doling out the refunds.
Sadly, ESPN reports that Hall ODed again the night of the show.
Over the course of his life, Scott Hall has consumed more alcohol and drugs than the city of Austin will during the SXSW festival this month. Yet not only is he still alive, he’s keeping his act together enough to do commercials for WWE video games. He’s become one of those old wrestlers WWE can prop up and say “See, everybody? We’re not the evil company everyone makes us out to be! Some of our former employees do survive the real world after we knock them out from under our umbrella! And we’ll take credit when they do.” But WWE shouldn’t pat themselves on the back too hard, ‘cause ultimately, if anyone rescues or has rescued Scott Hall from booze ‘n drugs, it's Scott Hall. And we couldn't be happier for him.