Everyone-and I do mean everyone-seems to run a “hottest women” list. I’ve done it too. They are wonderful lists to compile, and usually at least somewhat subjective. As the saying goes, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, right? Who I chose as my number one hottest of all time, may not be yours. And, honestly, when I did those lists, I had women on there, or on there higher, than if I was keeping the list all to myself. But, as many of these hot lists as there are, there aren’t enough of the opposite lists-as in, the least attractive women in wrestling history. I know, I must be crazy to come up with one, but the idea popped into my head and I felt compelled to run with it. I assure you, some of these you will see coming a mile away (and probably wished you had not), while others on this list you will vehemently disagree with.
That is the beauty of such lists-even if the list itself is not made up of anyone beautiful, the idea is that what I come up with for the top fifteen (or would it really be the bottome fifteen?) will differ from your fifteen. It is expected, accepted and anticipated. And before we really dive into this exercise in ugliness, I figure I should preface this all the same. This is just my own opinion. Some women on here may have very well been attractive at one point in time, even. But, based on when I saw them, or when most of us saw them, their appearances warranted inclusion here. And, beyond that, because I don’t need folks thinking we are all shallow (we aren’t, I swear!), I know full well that a woman is not defined solely by her looks, and even if she’s on this list she’s probably beautiful to someone, and may be a totally awesome person. With all that said, let’s dive in and see who made the list!
Let me first start off by saying: yes, I know I had Madusa on some hot lists. Because, to some, she is or was gorgeous. And, I am sure she had her moments. Even as Alundra Blayze, she never really did much for me (though, I will preface this all by saying, it’s not like if she or anyone else on this list were interested in me, I’d refuse-because I’d probably make the ugly list myself). But, to me, I consider Madusa someone who was more concerned about being in great shape and being a great women’s wrestler. She was not concerned about fashion shoots, Playboy spreads or really being some young guy’s evening fantasy. So, with that in mind, I have her low on this list (or is it high, as the higher on this you are, the less unattractive they must be, right?).
Yes, I know, here is another one who I have also ranked on the hot lists. And, Nancy Sullivan Benoit had her moments, to be sure. But I also think she could be a bit of an acquired taste at times. And, toward the end of her career in front of the cameras, I think she was showing the wear and tear, the mileage if you will, of a long career. Even as “merely” a wrestling valet, the travel, the hours, it can and does take a toll on someone. I think, in the grand scheme, she’s not someone most of us would have turned away, but when you compare her to some of the other “gorgeous women of wrestling”, I can’t say she quite stacks up.
13. Tamina Snuka
Yes! I did it. I put Tamina on the list. Why? Because I never, ever understood her appeal to anyone. She is, without a doubt, the epitome of getting a job because she was related to someone who was famous. (OK, maybe Horace Hogan in WCW would object). But seriously, what did she ever bring to the table, outside of the Snuka name? The answer would be, effectively, nothing. As a wrestler, I always thought her work was boring, sometimes sloppy, and never really interesting. She was painful to watch, and honestly sometimes painful to look at. I mean, I get it, she’s had knee injuries, but the people I am most used to see wearing those bulky braces? Guys, like Stone Cold. Or NFL offensive linemen. Just saying…
12. Sister Sheri
I believe she has made quite a few lists herself. Sheri is on here not because she was hideous her entire career – she wasn’t. I don’t even think I would call her ever hideous, honestly. But she did make my list, and here is the honest answer. She got old (shocking, I know). It happens to us all, and when you have a career that was as long and distinguished as hers was, well, you accrue a lot of wear and tear, and that shows up when you age. I suppose most of us wish we had looked as good as she had over her life and times. Thinking it over, I suppose she takes a hit because she stuck around so long. Where some women walk away really early (Trish Stratus comes to mind), others like Sheri are lifers, and just can’t walk away. So, that means we see them age, and it’s not always graceful.
11. Mae Young
Speaking of sticking around too long, or not growing old gracefully, here’s perhaps the biggest poster child for such a statement. Now, many of us, myself included, are well aware that Mae Young had a long and storied career as a women’s performer. That is great, and she was a pioneer and no one is taking any of that from her. We have no reason to. But what is also indisputable is the fact that for the vast majority of people reading this list, they didn’t get to know Mae Young until Mae was way over the hill, and was more like one of our grandmothers. Or great-grandmothers. And I am willing to go out on a limb and presume that most of my awesome readers don’t have a granny fetish. But, if you did… Mae Young would be your girl!
10. The Fabulous Moolah
Or, if you do have a thing for those silver haired vixens, but Mae Young didn’t quite tickle your fancy, how about a woman who has Fabulous in her name? That’s right folks, what about The Fabulous Moolah? Now, she was, I am sure, a stunner in her own right, back in the day and when Moolah was in her twenties or thirties. But, as with Mae Young, most of the fans reading this here and now only recall the version of Moolah we got that looked like she was one bad hit away from landing in the senior center and rolling around in a wheelchair. We aren’t saying Moolah was never hot-far from it. What we are saying is, the Moolah we got during the Attitude Era and other appearances, was not.
9. Tammy Sytch
Now, don’t shoot me for this one. When she was Sunny? She was smoking hot. I mean, there is absolutely a reason why she was one of the most downloaded women at the time. But, here’s the thing. That time seems like it was eons ago, because she has done herself no favors whatsoever. If the stories that are out there are to be believed, she’s gotten around. A lot. And, in the process, she’s also managed to get into some really bad stuff, in terms of narcotics. It all takes a toll, and it makes a woman who was extremely attractive in her prime, look like your average forty-something with a drug problem. And, I think she’s still hoping there are people out there who will see her as the woman from the posters they had when they were teens (why else would she be selling Skype dates and such?). For Tammy, it was a hard fall from grace, without a doubt.
I know I am going to get someone upset here, with the counter-argument possibly being “she can’t be unattractive, she posed for Playboy!”. But, here’s the thing. One, Hefner was offering the money for any woman in the WWE (supposedly), and she qualified. Heck, considering that until she bared it all, how much flak did Chyna get for looking like a man? A lot. It’s part of why she probably had some minor cosmetic enhancements, too. I am not saying I would have turned her down (because if she ever had wanted me, she could have beat me into submission and had her way with me anyways). But when you think of a classic beauty, I don’t think she was ever anyone’s definition of that. To me, she will always be proof that you don’t have to be a stunner to be naked in Playboy.
7. Luna Vachon
Here’s someone where, if you were going to tell her she was not attractive, you’d probably want to do it over the phone. From another country. And with a security detail on standby. Come to think of it, a lot of women on this list would fit that description! But seriously, Vachon was a tough as nails woman in wrestling, when there certainly were no other women who looked anything like she did. From the hair and the tattoos, to that constantly angry or miserable sourpuss expression, she was scary from the instant she walked through the curtains. Unless you had some really sick and twisted tastes in women, there was almost no way she was ever someone’s dream date. But, if you liked your women crazy, then look no further.
6. Bertha Faye
Here’s another woman who was absolutely not looking or trying to be anyone’s sex symbol. She was, first and foremost, a wrestler. Her build supports that, as she was a bigger woman (nothing wrong with that, those are my favorites! Not that anyone wanted to know…). She had been all over the world, but got her most exposure in the World Wrestling Federation working as a more comedic wrestler known as Bertha Faye. While she did actually hold a women’s title for a brief stretch, she was more known for living in trailer parks and loving Harvey Wippleman. I am willing to say that, if WWE had not been so hell-bent on having her be more comic relief than anything else, and had not decked her out as they did, we might have a different perspective. But, they didn’t, and we don’t.
I suppose she might have appealed to a particular group, though I’ve never knowingly met anyone in that group. She seems nice enough, based on her Hall of Fame induction. But this isn’t something we are judging on their niceness, or anything like that. Let’s be blunt- it’s a beauty contest, plain and simple, and for this one, you do not want to finish number one. And Miss Jackie won’t, I can assure you of that. But she is another woman on here who, by all appearances, was more interested in being in amazing shape and being an amazing in ring performer, as opposed to being a wrestling sex symbol. With that in mind, I can’t help but say “mission accomplished”. I mean, she got into the Hall of Fame, didn’t she?
4. Bull Nakano
You want to have nightmares? Look at Bull Nakano. Seriously, I remember when I first saw her on television, and this woman scared me. I can still picture the hair. Oh my, that hair. I suppose I only wish I could have grown my hair that long, or gelled my hair that much to add feet to my stature! So, what doesn’t do it for me? I suppose it was the hair. Or the outfits. Or the facepaint? Maybe the facepaint. Honestly, it was a combination of all of the above. Plus, as a heel, when she came to the ring she always looked ready to rip someone’s head off, which, unless you have a beheading fetish, is not really attractive. I mean, if that’s what you are into, who am I to judge…but it’s not for me.
OK, we know for a fact she was someone’s type, otherwise she has a lot of explaining to do about the pregnancy that ultimately meant she was done with World Wrestling Entertainment. But, she basically hit her lottery, you know? I mean, there is absolutely someone for everyone. I am a firm believer in that, especially when you consider how many millions of people live on this rock we call Earth. But, all that said, she was never in WWE because Vince thought “wow, people are going to be so attracted to Kharma”. No, she was in WWE because Vince thought “oh my God, she’s going to destroy the women we have on this roster”. Except, thanks to nature, she never really had a chance to get on track and destroy.
2. Nicole Bass
It’s OK if you don’t remember Nicole. I mean, she might not like it, and she could have easily snapped upon finding out you don’t remember her. Or, that you don’t like her. Because, she was then more ripped and jacked than I ever so much as dreamed of. Seriously folks, she was buff. To put it another way, she had more muscle tone and definition than some former World Champions (like, she was way more chiseled than Daniel Bryan). And, despite speculation to the contrary, she really seems to be a she. She was married (her husband passed away), though she had no kids. Her overly masculine appearance can no doubt be entirely blamed on her obsession with bodybuilding, and her use of steroids did not do her any favors. While she was involved with ECW and WWE, many folks may actually know her more for her work with Howard Stern.
1. Nia Jax
This one, I think, some people might hate me for, but here it is all the same. Nia Jax is not my idea of attractive, especially not if you compare her to the other women in WWE right now. I mean, she’s easily the least attractive out of all of them (I’d call Charlotte among those honorable mentions, but again, this is all based on personal taste). She comes off as this current era’s wrestler who doesn’t care what people think. She’s not worried about her looks, or if she messes up her opponent’s hair. She’s here to win, and she wants to become the WWE RAW women’s champion. So, while I bet she wouldn’t want to be given this honor, I do believe she’d much rather win multiple WWE women’s titles as opposed to being worshipped and adored as a sex symbol. I can respect her perspective, if that’s true…but it doesn’t make me change this at all.
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