Do politics and wrestling go hand in hand? Well, it appears that way if an individual watches a lot of cable news, where Republicans and Democrats fill in for faces and heels, depending on whether one is a bigger fan of Fox News or MSNBC. However, the comings and goings on in American politics can have global ramifications that potentially impact the lives of the entire human race, as opposed to wrestling, where events are basically imaginary and meaningfully alter the lives of almost no one. So it’s best that the low-stakes world of pro wrestling crosses over into the high-stakes realm of politics as little as possible.
Still, let’s say it’s opposite day. Of all the countless performers known for their accomplishments inside the squared circle, who among them would be best equipped to run for office? And not even necessarily for president - they could run for senate, or town treasurer or city council in one of those local elections everyone forgets to vote in despite their far greater immediate relevance to their communities.
Wrestling and politics crossovers aren’t unprecedented, of course. Jesse Ventura did okay as governor of Minnesota and now he's a well known a celebrity commentator/pundit. Linda McMahon wanted to be Connecticut’s US Senator, but her campaign was a catastrophic embarrassment that forced WWE to go PG in an act of self-flagellation. “We are so sorry that I ran for senate, that we’re taking all the blood and cursing out of our show, so no one will watch it, because we obviously can’t be trusted with money, we the McMahons,” said Linda, in a historic press conference after her shameful loss.
So now, let’s take a gander at wrestling people who could potentially do a little better than Linda McMahon at politics. We deliberately left John Bradshaw Layfield off this list, because expertise at acquiring and enhancing one’s own wealth should not qualify one for public office and we’ll never forgive him for that ugly episode with the Blue Meanie.
15 The Rock
Never underestimate the value of likability in politics. Who wouldn’t vote for The Rock? Everybody loves The Rock. Not only is he one of the most beloved wrestlers in the history of ever and ever, he’s also one of the highest paid movie stars, even though the criminally misunderstood and under-appreciated Southland Tales is by far the best movie he’s ever starred in.
14 Mick Foley
12 Alberto Del Rio
10 Bob Backlund
9 Vince Russo
8 Stephanie McMahon
7 The Insane Clown Posse
5 The New Day
We might not have the best understanding of what goes into the daily lives of public servants here at TheSportster. But we know for sure that they’ve got to make a lot of speeches. Big E Langston, Kofi Kingston, and Xavier Woods have established that they can do a speech, or a “promo,” as it’s referred to in wrestling parlance, for a solid 17 minutes. Plus there are three of them, which means they could hold three public offices at once, which is two more than they would be able to hold if they were only one person.
4 Paul Heyman
3 "Stone Cold" Steve Austin
2 Jim Cornette
1 Val Venis
According to the Drug Policy Alliance, 1.5 millions Americans were arrested for nonviolent drug offenses in 2014 and, in 2010, more than half of all drug arrests were for possession of small quantities of marijuana. Wouldn’t it save everybody a lot of money and/or energy and/or time in prison if we just made marijuana legal and let all of those people out of prison right now? Since his wrestling career has wound down a wee bit, Sean Morley’s devoted his energy to legalization advocacy. If anybody from the pro wrestling world is suited to help shut down the pointless and miserably failed War on Drugs and put a dent or two in the Prison Industrial Complex, it would seem to be The Big Valbowski.
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