The following fifteen matches will never be confused with Sasha Banks vs. Baley's NXT Iron Women's mat classic or Trish Stratus vs. Mickie James at WrestleMania 22, or anywhere close to Trish and Lita squaring off at Unforgiven 2006. And there is no way in hell (excuse the pun) that any of the below will be compared to the ground breaking, history making Hell In A Cell match between Charlotte and Sasha. With all that out of the way, the extensive and in-depth analysis taken while researching and constructing this list was something that only a select few journalists have the ability, patience and privilege to undertake.
Unfortunately for fans of Jerry Lawler, the PG era will most likely never have "Puuupppiees" moments like the Attitude Era or the Ruthless Aggression Era brought us. Before the Divas Revolution Era, many fans would use the time during PG Era Women's matches for a snack or washroom break, but one can't imagine ever walking away during one of the matches listed below, purely from a warmblooded male point of view. While there are some fans who appreciate the change in the way that the ladies are portrayed, admiring them for their talents, more than their "talents," there are other fans who enjoyed the controversial and racy backstage moments and in ring "action" that WWE brought to the ring every week.
So with that being said, thanks to the internet, let us take a trip back down memory lane to relive the Top 15 Divas Matches that were pretty terrible from a wrestling standpoint, but were oh so enjoyable from a lighthearted fun appreciation for the female body point of view.
15 Chocolate Pudding Match - Candice Michelle def. Melina (One Night Stand 2007)
Who doesn't like chocolate pudding? Add in two scantily clad beautiful women and you have a surefire recipe for success. Okay, success is a strong word when it comes to describing this match. From a technical standpoint, there was very little to be noted, as one might expect from a match in a kiddie pool full of chocolate pudding.
While sex and chocolate do go hand in hand, this match up, eh not so much. After having her head submerged in the gooey dessert repeatedly, the reigning champ was forced to tap out, but managed to keep her gold in this non-title affair. As an added bonus for all the male fans, Maria managed to find her way into the mix following a post match interview, making the event a triple treat. Surely there were many fans offering to assist with helping to clean up the Divas after this match.
14 Egg Nog Match - Torrie Wilson def. Stacy Keibler (Raw Dec 24, 2001)
It would be interesting to know what Torrie and Stacy were thinking when they woke up on Christmas Eve morning knowing that they would be parading around in skimpy little Santa's Helpers costumes and then splashing and thrashing in a giant pool filled with Egg Nog. Chances are Vince and many warm blooded wrasslin' fans couldn't care less as a couple of slaps and kicks soon led to two minutes of these beautiful blondes slathered in what appeared to be the traditional Christmas beverage.
Other than a glimpse or two of "holiday cheer" from Wilson, there was very little in the way of entertainment in this match that both ladies probably regret agreeing to.
13 Mud Match - Velvet Sky def. Lacey Von Erich (TNA Impact 2009)
Fans have "Big Sexy" Kevin Nash to thank for this match and his convincing ways to sell the ladies in the match. The key word in that sentence would be "sell" as he pointed out to the members of The Beautiful People that ratings equals money (Nash was always focused on the all mighty dollar, real or kayfabe). Envisioning that millions of fans would be tuning in to catch a glimpse of two of TNA's hottest knockouts, Nash announced a Mud Match between the two friends. Add into the mix Madison Rayne as the special guest referee and you knew it would be a mat classic (sarcasm).
Like with anything TNA did compared to the WWE, the kiddie pool was smaller, but the chees factor was equally as high. Following Velvet's traditional entrance (which may be second to only Melina's in terms of all-time best female ring entrances), the actual wrestling in this match was minimal. Some rolling around and splashing mixed with the two taking time to wipe mud off of each other's faces was about all that took place. The winners here? Lonely single men who live in their parents basement.
12 Mud Match - Trish Stratus def. Stacy Keibler (Raw Aug 19, 2002)
Seven years before The Beautiful People jumped into the pool, Eric Bischoff announced a Mud Match between these two Raw vixens. Hyping up the crowd by exposing a matching set of black undergarments, Trish quickly found herself thrown into the pool following a sneak attack by Keibler, clad equally as scantily in a matching pair of unmentionables.
In what appeared to be a "Falls Count Anywhere" event, everyone and everything got involved including official Charles Robinson (which few cared to see) and a camera. A couple of hair pulls, slaps and a number of crowd pleasing spanks to the derriere later, Trish would wind up happily having her hand raised in victory.
11 Evening Gown Match - Luna def. Sable (Unforgiven 1998)
In a battle of two very different ladies, Sable and Luna would usher in the very first Evening Gown Match at the Unforgiven PPV. Now beauty is in the eye of the beholder and traditionally the babyface tends to walk away victorious in these types of matches, but sadly the vote to see Luna in her skivvies probably was a bit lopsided when it came to the pre-match planning. At the time, Sable was one of the hottest Divas on the roster and you knew fans wanted to see her take it off once more.
During the match, Jerry Lawler was more animated and excited than a teenage boy on Viagra. Much to the joy of everyone watching, Sable would end up exposing her purple Victoria Secrets and lose the match. But just to make sure she got her revenge, a half naked powerbomb...err Sablebomb, led to Luna having her gown ripped off after the bell. Sometimes when you win, you actually lose and sometimes when you lose, you actually win.
10 Playboy Evening Gown Match - Sable & Torrie Wilson def. Stacy Keibler and Jackie (WrestleMania XX)
Totally different than a regular Evening Gown match, this one featured a pair of ladies who appeared on the cover and insides of the gentlemen's magazine, Playboy. With four hot leggy blondes filling the ring, before the match could even get underway, Sable would doff her gown into a full on black lingerie outfit, with Stacy and Torrie quickly following suit. Jackie on the other hand didn't appear as willing to disrobe, before her opponents would lend her a helping hand.
Typical Divas action ensured. including a quality roll up series between Torrie and Jackie. Depending on your vantage point, Miss Jackie ended up giving fans quite an eye full when Torrie eventually pinned her for the win. For pure comic relief, this match is actually worth watching with the volume turned up.
9 Lingerie Pillow Fight - Ashley def. Melina vs. Jillian vs. Maria vs. Mickie James (Monday Night Raw Roulette 2008)
Hats off to Mr. McMahon, who made this match possible with a little controversial backstage shenanigans. Sadly for fans of Melina, the camera man missed her classic entrance. With what looked to be a king sized bed in the ring, along with a number of pillows, this match was not for the weak at heart, because to be totally honest it was complete garbage...unless you consider Maria's broncobuster on Jillian and a few token booty slaps to Melina who was draped over the ropes to be Match of the Year worthy.
A handful of botches later, some over flowing braziers and a triple team middle rope elbow later, Ashley would walk away with a "W" in the record books.
8 Bra & Panties Match - Torrie Wilson def. Melina (Great American Bash 2005)
An added bonus to the first B&P match in the history of the Great American Bash was GoDaddy spokeswoman Candice Michelle as the special guest referee, filling out the stripped shirt far better than any other official during the night. Torrie managed to get the upper hand early, before Melina would mount a comeback. Along with a handful of primal screams by Melina and some half decent wrestling moves, the match would end thanks to a top rope clothesline and a quick pin by the manager of MnM.
A few seconds later, Melina would drop a sneak attack on Michelle, which lead to a double team by the two fan favorites and the loss of Melina's bottoms, completing her exposure. But the action was not done there, as Wilson and Michelle would celebrate in the ring together, with both Playboy models eventually leaving the ring in their bra and panties.
7 Thong Stinkface Match - The Kat def. Terri Runnels (SummerSlam 2000)
How do you follow up an epic Table, Ladders and Chair match? Well with a totally stupid Thong Stinkface Match, of course. The rules of the match were traditional, except instead of pinning your opponent, the only way to win would be to drop the other into the corner and stick your thong clad rump in their face.
High heels, butt slaps, some outside interference by Al Snow and Perry Saturn and a horrible crotch shot to the official led to losing five minutes of your life (along with a bad taste in your mouth, especially if you are Terri Runnels) that you will never get back if you watch this match. Unless you are into massive wedgies, then by all means fill your boots.
6 Fatal Four-Way Bra and Panties Match - Ashley Massaro def. Kristal Marshall vs. Jillian Hall vs. Michelle McCool (Great American Bash 2006)
Channeling her inner Velvet Sky, Kristal Marshall entered the ring first for this epic battle against McCool, Hall and Massaro. With the bell rung, the ladies paired off with Ashley and Kristal battling in the ring, while Jillian and Michelle took to the outside. Sadly, only one of the four ladies in the ring could actually call herself a wrestler, but there was enough screaming, moaning, groaning and hair flying to make this match somewhat watchable...from a wrestling purist standpoint. But let's face it, nobody was watching this for technical wrestling moves.
Somehow, Ashley found herself with her hand raised as she took advantage of a quality "motorboat" (and you thought the "rear view" was a horrible finishing move) from Jillian to Kristal, which would lead to the punk rocker winning the second ever bra and panties match at the Great American Bash.
5 Lingerie Match - Torrie Wilson def. Stacy Keibler (No Mercy 2001)
In the first ever Lingerie Match, Stacy Keibler and her 5"11" frame entered the ring first, dressed in black, which we could only assume identified her as a heel. Torrie, (who made most of her career appearing in matches found on this list) would make her way in to the contest next, wearing a more fan friendly pink outfit, symbolic of a more fan friendly tone.
For the most part this was a pretty basic match, if you consider a set of cat-o-nine tails to be basic. Again a series of crowd pleasing small package roll ups would highlight the affair before Torrie would close out the match with a handspring elbow for what might be the best 1,2,3 in WWE history. Or not.
4 Bra & Panties on a Pole Match - Trish Stratus def. Stacy Keibler (Monday Night Raw)
In a Women's Championship match, Jim Ross would happily point out Keibler's 41 1/2 inch legs, highlighted by her purple booty shorts. Why was there a paddle on the pole? Why the heck not? Remember this was RAW in the early 2000s.
While fans were cheering on Keibler to grab the victory (and Trish's pants), they went home just as happy after Stratus reversed the pin and rolled Stacy up for the win. A sneak attack after the bell led to Keibler grabbing the paddle off the pole on top of the third turnbuckle. Have no fear as the champion would not only retain her title, but also her dignity as she gave Keibler a good ol' 1, 2 on the rump. Someone get The King a stiff drink and a cigarette.
3 Seven Women School Girl Battle Royal - Trish Stratus def. Gail Kim vs. Jazz vs. Molly Holly vs. Nidia vs. Stacy Keibler vs. Victoria (Taboo Tuesday 2004)
It's hard to take a match like this serious when Lilian Garcia can't keep a straight face when announcing the rules and contestants. For the next ten minutes, these seven Divas would make fans fantasize about their younger years (hence the Taboo Tuesday Fulfill Your Fantasy Match). Somehow Gail Kim would hail from Korea rather than Toronto, but who was really paying that much attention to what Lilian was saying.
Unlike traditional Over The Top Battle Royal rules, if a Diva was thrown through the ropes and both feet hit the ground, they would be sent to the back. Fortunately there was a lot of actual wrestling talent in this match with Stratus, Kim, Jazz, Victoria and Holly. With no friends in the ring, it was every Diva for themselves, though the occasional double team would assist with a few Divas being removed from the match. After nearly being eliminated from the match by Keibler, Trish would prevail by dumping Molly Holly out of the ring from behind as the final three battled it out. Call it a cheeky move by Stratus if you will.
2 Wet and Wild Water Contest - Torrie Wilson def. Candice Michelle (Monday Night Raw)
With the epic special stipulation of appearing on the cover of the WWE Summer Special Magazine (considering both would appear in Playboy, it was kind of a "meh" award) we got this wet and wild water contest. As water balloon and super soakers and buckets would fill the ring, it was a pleasure to see that both contestants would wear white as their ring attire, because, well why wouldn't you wear white to a water fight, what's the worse that could happen?
Unfortunately for Candice her guns were faulty, so the next best thing would be to belly to back suplex Torrie on a pile of water balloons. Why Michelle would ever attack the official with a bucket of water is beyond explanation as is how the WWE managed to get this match on TV without censorship. A wet wedgie stinkface and a facebuster on Michelle would award Wilson not only the match, but also the cover of the highly sought after WWE magazine.
1 1.Bra & Panties Match - Lita def. Trish Stratus (Monday Night Raw)
This is the match that started it all. In the first ever Bra and Panties Match, Lita would defend her title against her long time foe (and friend). There would be no pinfalls and no submissions, which was a total shame as they were far more capable of putting on a match rather than a gimmick event. But with the crowd firmly behind the event, chanting "We want puppies," Vince must have felt like he gave the sold out crowd what they came for.
While the two future Hall Of Fame wrestlers would put on a hard fought, but short-lived match, with Lita walking away the victor, Ivory and Right To Censor must have seen the future as they declared that the match was demeaning and degrading. Although fans would enjoy the fine body (or bodies) of work that thediDvas displayed nightly through the Attitude and Ruthless Aggression Eras, thanks to Linda McMahon and her political ventures, the WWE would eventually turn into the PG Era and true wrestling fans could appreciate the talents of the WWE Women's Division today.