The Beast Incarnate. The 1 in 21-1. Bork Lazer.
Brock Lesnar is known by many names, but the most important thing about him, and the thing the WWE and UFC would most like you to remember, is that he is a scary, ass kicking rage monster who will destroy anything that gets in his way and may have actually been responsible for the Hindenburg explosion (don't fact check that). Paul Heyman's most terrifying protege is portrayed as the most destructive force in WWE - as he should be, because he's legitimately a former UFC world heavyweight champion. And unless you've been living under a rock this past month (a rock thrown on you by Brock Lesnar), then you'll know that the Mayor of Suplex City himself recently returned to the Octagon for a (supposedly) one-off appearance at UFC 200, where he defeated remorseless knockout machine Mark Hunt.
While the WWE has announced that Brock Lesnar will be facing Randy Orton at this year's SummerSlam event, that will likely be a one time exhibition match for both men, and soon everyone's favorite force of nature will need a new opponent. Now that Brock's apparently moonlighting as a two sport athlete, like the terrifying love child of Bo Jackson, the Predator, and a volcano, this is the perfect time to look at the men who could challenge the Beast in the WWE and the UFC, assuming he continues to work in both promotions (and his recent failed PED test doesn't derail his present career and this list).
29 WWE - Bray Wyatt
This one is a no-brainer. Brock Lesnar has been connected to the Wyatt Family on numerous occasions. Sometimes, he's supposed to feud with the Family in its entirety, and others, he's supposed to feud with individual members, specifically Braun Strowman or the patriarch himself, Bray Wyatt. This feud doesn't need an elaborate history to start it up, because the Wyatt Family operate as rogues. They occasionally start feuds based entirely on imagined beefs. Bray could easily be mad at Brock for trying to take his title as the scourge of the WWE. The Eater of Worlds vs. The Beast Incarnate, if you will. He can repeatedly throw his henchman at Brock and run away from actual confrontation until he eventually as no choice but to meet the Beast in the middle of the ring and engage him in fisticuffs. Both men are excellent wrestlers and brawlers, so the match would likely be dynamite. However, the highlight of the feud would be watching Bray Wyatt and Paul Heyman go toe-to-toe on the mic. If you don't want to see that, you're a liar and a bad person and get out now.
27 UFC - Alistair Overeem
Who doesn't love a redemption story? A quick refresher, for those who aren't avid MMA fans: the last fight of Brock Lesnar's first UFC run was against Dutch Kickboxer and avid horse meat enthusiast, Alistair Overeem. The Reem kicked Brock's liver clean out of his body, then hammered his face with punches until the refs mercifully ended the bout. That fight sent Brock out of the UFC and back into the loving, questionably sculpted arms of Vincent Kennedy McMahon. However, now that Brock's back to fighting, he'd surely love an opportunity to avenge that loss, especially since their last fight was marred by questions of Brock's then recent battle with diverticulitis. Overeem is currently the number one contender to Stipe Miocic's heavyweight championship and if he won it, a possible confrontation between he and Brock, with the belt on the line, would be a big money event for the UFC.
25 WWE - Cesaro
Cesaro is a very, very strong man. He may be the pound-for-pound strongest man in the WWE. People are actually excited to see him spin other men around by their legs. That sounds like something dumb Hulk Hogan would have done in the 90's, but Cesaro's turned it into an actual attraction. On a scale of 1 to 10, Cesaro's a 200 pound weight lifting three other 200 pound weights over his head while screaming. Unfortunately, Brock may be the strongest person in the known universe. He's more than likely Thanos in disguise (Marvel reference: check). A battle between Brock and Cesaro would be an excellent exhibition match to bolster a bigger PPV. Cesaro could interrupt one of Paul Heyman's gloating, post-victory promos, possibly after Brock tears Randy Orton limb-from-limb, and challenge Brock Lesnar for the crown of "Strongest Man in the WWE." Since Cesaro is incapable of having a bad match, their in-ring work would be stupendous. Plus, who doesn't want to see Cesaro try to swing Brock Lesnar? That's the best possible use of the WWE Network.
23 UFC - Cain Velasquez
Back to the UFC side of the list and there's another redemption fight to be made. Brock Lesnar's UFC heavyweight championship reign was incredibly profitable for the UFC. UFC 91, UFC 100, and UFC 116, the PPV where he won the title and the two PPV's where he successfully defended the title, respectively, all did over one million PPV buys. Unfortunately for Brock, however, UFC 121, the PPV where he lost the title, also broke the one million buy threshold. The man who took the belt from him was none other than Cain Velasquez, quite possibly the baddest man on the planet and one of the most ferocious fighters to ever compete in the heavyweight division. Cain simply outgunned, out-wrestled, and out-punched Lesnar at every turn and shocked the world. Considering this was during the brunt of his battle with diverticulitis, Brock would probably love an opportunity to meet Velasquez one more time to try and settle the score.
21 WWE - Dean Ambrose
This entry may seem a bit redundant, seeing as Dean Ambrose was Brock Lesnar's last opponent, having lost to the Beast in a Street Fight at Wrestlemania 32. However, it became a very different ball game when the Lunatic Fringe claimed the WWE World Heavyweight Championship at Money in the Bank. Brock Lesnar loves championship gold almost as much as he loves money and because of his Wrestlemania win over Ambrose, he's in a perfect position to demand a title shot. Considering that after the Draft, Brock will most likely be a roving mercenary, doing whatever he wants, whenever he wants (Kinda like literally right now) and having Brock Lesnar in the title picture is definitely best for business. Having the two men rehash their Wrestlemania feud, amplified with gold hanging in the balance, would be a definite money maker for the company. Also, the two deserve a chance at a do-over in the ring, because their Wrestlemania match was not their best work. Give these men a chance to put on the show the world knows they're capable of. Do it for the children.
19 UFC - Frank Mir
In the relatively short history of the UFC, there have been a number of legendary rivalries. Chuck Liddell and Tito Ortiz. Anderson Silva and Chael Sonnen. Conor McGregor and literally every person who looks at him. The rivalry of Brock Lesnar and Frank Mir probably belongs in the same breath as those confrontations. Brock and Frank first faced off at UFC 81, Brock's first fight in the organization. It ended by way of first round submission, when Mir tapped The Beast out with kneebar. After that, Brock went on to destroy Heath Herring at UFC 87, then Randy Couture at UFC 91, where he claimed the heavyweight championship. At UFC 100, the UFC's centennial (PPV) event, Brock got his second shot at Frank Mir, this time defeating the future hall of famer by second round knockout. With Brock back in the UFC and Frank Mir's career winding down, why not go for the rubber match? At the very least, it would be a massive moneymaker for the fight promotion and give Mir a proper career sendoff.
17 WWE - Kevin Owens
The problem with having Brock Lesnar, a former UFC heavyweight champion, in the WWE is that there are very few opponents who can even plausibly take him on. As much as everyone loves wrestlers like Sami Zayn and Finn Balor, it's difficult to believe they could challenge Lesnar in a physical confrontation. Even John Cena, a man made almost entirely of muscles and patriotism, got rag dolled by him over and over again (Summerslam 2014!). Anytime Lesnar loses in the WWE, it's via dubious circumstances or in hardcore matches. Kevin Owens may be one of the few men in the company that could believably challenge Lesnar one on one. Despite his rotund figure, he's sneaky athletic and incredibly strong. On top of all that, he's a vile human being and will do anything to win. He's a self described prize fighter and a win over Brock Lesnar is almost more valuable than any gold. Both men are brutal brawlers, so their matches would be viscous and hard hitting. Also, Kevin Owens on the mic against Paul Heyman would give way to some of the snarkiest promos of all time.
15 UFC - Fedor Emelianenko
One of two deeply unlikely dream matches on this list, Brock Lesnar vs. Fedor Emelianenko is one of those matches that people have been talking about since the moment Brock touched UFC gold. The man lovingly referred to as the Last Emperor, Fedor Emelianenko is considered by many to be the greatest heavyweight in MMA history, if not the outright greatest MMA fighter of all time. When Brock Lesnar was originally tearing up the UFC, Fedor was competing overseas in Russia and Japan, and then later in Strikeforce. Time and time again, Fedor was supposedly close to signing with the UFC, and time and time again, he slipped through their fingers, usually because of monetary differences. However, with Brock and Fedor both back in MMA, the UFC could make one last attempt at making this fight happen. Even if both men are over the hill, their fight would pull in beaucoup bucks, maybe breaking UFC PPV buy records. Regardless of quality, it would be a spectacle.
13 WWE - Roman Reigns
Cue the Wellness Policy Violation jokes! Okay, now stop. Stop it. Honestly, stop. Seriously, though, a rematch between Brock Lesnar and Roman Reigns makes sense for more reasons than just that they both pissed hot. Flashback to WrestleMania 31, where Brock and Roman faced off in the main event. Both men tore each other apart for 15 minutes before Seth Rollins (more on him later) cashed in the Money in the Bank briefcase and crashed their party. Since then, Roman Reigns has won the WWE World Heavyweight Championship three times and Brock beat up Dean Ambrose and had a weird feud with the Undertaker for a while. Now that Brock's PED adventures may have, at least temporarily, halted his UFC career, the two could pick up their feud where they left off. If the WWE is still dead-set on having the Samoan superstar be the face of the company (they probably are), then having him claim a clean win over The Beast Incarnate would be a huge career boost.
11 UFC - Jon Jones
The second nearly implausible dream match on this list, a match between Brock Lesnar and Jon "Bones" Jones doesn't even really have an outside chance of happening, but in terms of money making potential, there are few fights that could generate as much profit for the UFC. Jon Jones is the scary talented, albeit troubled, former kingpin of the UFC light heavyweight division. However, he's huge for the division (6'4" with an 84.5 inch reach), has defeated most of the division's top contenders, and has teased making a move up to heavyweight a few times. Brock Lesnar would be a perfect test for Jones' prospects in the division. He's a world class wrestler, as is Jones, and could probably punch a hole in a Panzer tank, so he'd be able to test Jones' chin. If Bones can survive an onslaught from Lesnar, than he'd be a much more believable threat in the company's largest division. However, he's in the same PED boat as Lesnar, so this fight his little chance of becoming reality.
9 WWE - Samoa Joe
Take all that stuff that was written about Kevin Owens earlier and apply it to Samoa Joe. Despite his lack of an arch-typical WWE build, Joe is highly athletic, ruthless as hell, and his in-ring style is blistering and viscous. On top of all that, he's one of the most decorated professional wrestlers in the past ten years, having wrestled all over the world, against many of the top names in the business. A battle between Joe and Brock Lesnar would be a thing of beauty, a whirlwind of punches and kicks and grown men throwing each other around. This would be an easy feud to set up. Joe could make his main roster debut, fresh off losing the NXT Championship to whichever young up and comer eventually dethrones him (or Shinsuke Nakamura, whatever) and attack Brock, demanding everyone give him the respect he deserves and pay less attention to some part time attraction. It sounds like a CM Punk storyline, but it works, because, logically, more superstars should be mad about part timers taking their screen time and Joe's one of the few men who could plausibly make Brock look like an ordinary human being, at least temporarily.
7 UFC - Junior dos Santos
In terms of UFC matchmaking, Brock Lesnar's more or less stuck in booking purgatory. He's too big of an attraction to not receive premiere booking, but he's been gone too long, and the rancid stench of failure from his last UFC run is still hanging in fans' minds, for him to be considered for a title match (probably). At the very least, he would have to face another top ranked opponent before he can even be considered for a shot at the heavyweight strap. Enter Junior dos Santos. The man known as Cigano has fallen on hard times since being destroyed by Cain Velasquez twice in one year, but before those beatings (seriously, they were very hard to watch) he was the UFC heavyweight champion and one of the most feared fighters in the company. Most importantly, he originally won the heavyweight belt from Velasquez, who took it from Brock. Short of fighting Velasquez again, beating dos Santos would be a good indicator that Brock's ready for bigger things (again).
5 WWE - Seth Rollins
Since Dean Ambrose and Roman Reigns have already appeared on this list, it's only fitting that Seth Rollins be included as well, just to complete the Shield trifecta (the best Pokemon collection of them all). Brock Lesnar has feuded with each of the former teammates, but perhaps none as extensively as Rollins. At the Royal Rumble in 2015, Brock, Rollins, and John Cena battled in a triple threat match with the Beast coming out on top (It was a phenomenal match; go watch it right now). However, that was the last time he'd triumph over Rollins. At Wrestlemania 31, Rollins cashed in the Money in the Bank contract as Brock battled Roman Reigns and stole the title. Then, at Battleground later that year, Brock failed to regain his championship, because of some shenanigans perpetrated by the Undertaker. Technically, Rollins has never defeated Brock without several levels of trickery, so the Beast has plenty of reason to go after the former Shield member, especially if Rollins claims the Championship at this year's Battleground event.
3 UFC - Stipe Miocic
Fun fact: Brock Lesnar didn't exactly earn his UFC heavyweight championship shot against Randy Couture. His UFC record was 1-1 at the time, with his only victory coming against Heath Herring at UFC 87. However, the UFC saw his money making potential and gave him a chance at the strap. It worked out, obviously, but it went against the company's policy of giving championship opportunities to the most deserving candidates. Cut to 2016: Stipe Miocic is heavyweight champ (He could easily lose it whenever; the heavyweight division is a never-ending game of hot potato) and the promotion has strayed even further from that merit based ideology. People are routinely handed title shots based on whether or not the UFC believes they can generate PPV buys. So, in this climate, why can't Brock get a shot at the belt he lost all those years ago? This isn't the most advisable course of action for the UFC, especially since Brock has tested positive for something, but a bout between Brock and Miocic (or Alistair Overeem) would earn enough money to fill Scrooge McDuck's vault, so don't count it out.
1 WWE - Shinsuke Nakamura
Fun fact: Brock Lesnar and Shinsuke Nakamura are both former IWGP Heavyweight Champions in New Japan Pro Wrestling and have actually wrestled each other before, albeit a long, long time ago, back when Nakamura was a little less weird (and awesome). 2016 would be a perfect time for these two to revisit their history with each other. Outside the ring, they couldn't be much different. Brock is a no-nonsense ass kicker who does whatever he wants, whenever he wants (like fighting in the UFC or PEDs), and Nakamura is the hyper flamboyant King of Strong Style, who's so charismatic he doesn't even have to talk to be over. However, inside the ring, they're very similar people. They both have a tendency to attack people with very brutal, very stiff shots. Brock once punched John Cena's open and Nakamura's kicks could probably crack the hull of the Titanic. Any match they had would be absolutely terrifying, with the entire crowd wondering if they may accidentally kill each other.
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