You could fill up a few different articles of hilarious Stone Cold Steve Austin moments. Even though being dropped his stack of dimes by Owen Hart halted his in-ring career a few months, the WWE kept their hottest act on the road and a put a microphone in his hand. Stunner after stunner and promo after promo awakened a beast on the microphone. Sometimes, the Rattlesnake would be deadly serious in his promos, other times he’d fire at the McMahons with a beer hose. One day, the Bionic Redneck left a voicemail on his buddy, Christian’s phone, what? He left a voicemail on Christian’s phone, what?
The chant that beleaguered some fans and talent for years was born. But the Hall Of Famer was funny before the What chants started as well. Here are 10 Funniest Moments Of Stone Cold's Career, Ranked.
10 Stone Cold Chairman - Raw 06/14/1999
Stone Cold defying and fighting with Vince McMahon more or less helped turn around the WWE’s fortunes in the Monday Night War. The pair was a real-life Bugs Bunny and Elmer Fudd. Whenever Vince got his comeuppance, it usually came in a big-time funny way.
For several weeks, thanks to Linda, Austin was made CEO of the WWE. On his first day in the office, he taught the receptionist how she should really answer the phone (“Who the hell is this, and what the bell do you want?”), having a drinking contest in the boardroom, and leaving all kinds of manure in Vince’s office.
9 Kumbaya - Raw 07/21/2001
At WrestleMania X7, the unthinkable happened when Austin not only turned heel, but he partnered up with Vince McMahon. As a heel, Stone Cold’s humorous side showed more and more.
He was a complete fool, even though he was the WWE Heavyweight Champion. In the midst of the Invasion, Austin’s new buddy Vince was feeling a little down in the dumps. Who better and what better to cheer up the Chairman than having the ornery Rattlesnake strum and out of tune guitar and singing Kumbaya horrendously.
8 Olympic Beer Toss - Smackdown 12/07/2000
Kurt Angle as a “nice guy,” type of heel that was so easy to hate, but also hysterical. When he interrupted Stone Cold on Smackdown during the build to Armageddon, he found himself right in the crosshairs of the world’s toughest SOB.
During this exchange, anytime Angle spoke up, Austin hurled a beer can right at him. The sight, plus Angle trying to talk about drinking milk was priceless.
7 Flair For The Old - Saturday Night 06/05/1993
While his stint in WCW showcased more of his in-ring ability as a mechanic, there were a few segments where Austin was able to show his mic skills. Along with Brian Pillman, The Hollywood Blonds parodied Flair’s talk show and brought us “A Flair For The Old.”
The promo featured Pillman dressed up like the Nature Boy, but the future Loose Cannon wasn’t a glory hog either. He knew exactly how to let his friend and tag partner shine through.
6 Supermarket Sweeps - Smackdown 12/13/2001
Booker T done did a bad thing at Vengeance 2001. He interfered in Austin’s business, which allowed for Chris Jericho to become the first-ever undisputed heavyweight champion. As the Rattlesnake would say, “that’s something that you just don’t do!”
Several days later on Smackdown, the Rattlesnake struck Booker T, and hit him hard. He assaulted the former WCW champion all over a supermarket, capped off with the obvious but still great punchline - “price check on a jackass.”
5 Cowboy Hats - Raw 07/05/2001
Less than a year after hurling beers right at him, Stone Cold and Kurt Angle were a bunch of goofs vying for the friendship of Vince. One week Austin thought it would be a nice gesture of friendship to get matching cowboy hats. One for himself and one of the Chairman.
With the Olympic Hero looking on and sad about being left out, Austin reassured Kurt that he liked him a little bit and got him a matching hat too, only it was a tiny baby cowboy hat. Kurt sold it as a sweet gesture and happily exclaimed “yippie kay yay,” not realizing the rib was on him.
4 Corporate Rattlesnake - Raw 04/06/1998
One of Jim Ross’ classic calls came on this night. After being told he could do things the easy way of the hard way, Austin seemingly decided to do things the easy way and strutted to the ring as WWE World Champion in a suit and tie, and Stone Cold cap.
The crowd booed a little bit, but it was clear that yet again, the rib was on Vince. The Bionic Redneck had no interest in becoming the Corporate Redneck as JR explained, “Rattlesnakes don’t make Corporate Pets!”
3 Extreme “Brother” - Hardcore TV 09/26/1995
Superstar Steve Austin didn’t spend a long time in ECW, but after getting fired by Bischoff via FedEx, his old Dangerous Alliance manager, Paul Heyman asked him to come to ECW and vent his grievances.
The result were several infamous promos ripping on WCW like “Monday NyQuil” and this one here. It’s a quick bit of Austin acting like a Hulkamaniac, “brothering” around nearly as much as the What chants several years later.
2 Do You Want To Hear A Story? What? - Raw 01/21/2002
Stone Cold had vowed to win the 2002 Royal Rumble. But when that didn’t happen, the next night on Raw - What? - The next night on Raw - What?
He stomped to the ring, beat the tar out of Mr. Perfect and Val Venis, in the middle of their match and the crowd ate it all up, chanting What? in between each punch and kick and then all throughout Austin’s completely insane and hilarious riff on The Beverly Hillbillies theme and then his beer-drinking, burger-eating exercise routine, vowing to be at the next year’s Rumble and still head to WrestleMania to open up a can of Whoop Ass.
1 Bedpan McMahon - Raw 10/05/1998
Give credit to the Chairman for this one (and many other moments during the years). He’s willing to make a fool out of himself for a good laugh and get the babyface over. McMahon was doing a hospital stint and hoping Austin wouldn’t attack him while he was convalescing.
Unfortunately for the Boss, Austin would not be denied. Fortunately for us fans, we got treated to the Rattlesnake smashing a bedpan on McMahon’s head with a satisfying thud sound effect too.