Wrestling shoot videos and podcasts across the spectrum all feature majorly exaggerated stories about all sorts of antics, tomfoolery, and Superstars. But all of them speak the same way about Tonga 'Uli'uli Fifita, better known to wrestling fans as Haku or Meng.
You wouldn’t realize it by his career-long midcard status, according to anyone whose ever shared a locker room with him, Haku is the toughest man walking the face of the Earth. How tough? Andre The Giant only feared two men — Haku was one of them. Wrestlers might exaggerate their stories, but they can’t all be kayfabe about the former king, can they? Here are ten backstage stories about Haku that we can’t believe.
10 Don’t Interrupt A Conversation Among Friends
According to Eric Bischoff, if you ever tried to interrupt Meng, you probably shouldn’t no matter what business you had to conduct.
While he was hanging around talking to Chris Jericho, Chris Candido, and Tammy, Bischoff and Greg Gagne came into the room and started talking to Haku. In mid-sentence, Meng yells “hey!” and demands that Eric and Gagne apologize for interrupting his friends.
9 Jimmy Jack Funk’s Eye
Eyeballs and wrestling. There are enough stories both kayfabe and not to fill up and entire list in and of itself. One such instance involved Haku possibly ripping out Jimmy Jack Funk’s eye. But as the former King tells it, the real story is slightly different. He about to and had his hands around the guy’s eye socket, but instead realized how silly they were being. After all, they’re all brothers on the road.
8 The Devil And Meng
As head booker, Kevin Sullivan learned quickly that Meng was not to be trifled with when he refused to work a shady storyline. But Sullivan also harnessed that power as well. Similar to JR and The Undertaker in the WWE locker room, it was pretty hard to refuse The Devil it he had Meng standing around him or delivering the news.
7 Too Stiff For The Barber
It has been noted over the years that some guys just work stiff. It’s their style and almost every Superstar accepts this. But there was an incident where Brutus The Barber Beefcake felt that the Islander was a little too stiff in the ring and had brought this to the attention of management instead of just talking it over with Haku personally.
According to legend, Meng found the Barber in the shower and choked him out, hoisting him several feet above the ground.
6 The Nose Knows
Everyone remembers the story — Dr. D David Schultz slapping the heck out John Stossel when the journalist asked if wrestling was fake. However that question had been asked a lot over the years in bars across America. One surely fellow who had a few too many in him one night thought it would be a good idea to mention the F word around Haku. Tonga reached for the guy and bit his nose off. After that, Haku and his friend, former wrestler Siva Afi cleaned house.
5 Mace? What Mace?
See that picture above? It’s a wrestling angle. However, for Haku this angle was based in reality. As is the case with a lot of wrestling road stories, the real action was crazier than the angle. According to Rick Steiner, Haku had it out with several cops one night. The brawl involved officers hitting him in the face with pepper spray. Tonga simply took a deep breath and kept on fighting. The Steiners realized on this night that they were nowhere near as tough as they thought.
4 The Real Tongan Death Grip
Like everyone else, Bobby Heenan had stories that went on for days about the called Meng. The former head of the Heenan Family once told a story about the toughest man he ever met getting into a bar fight that involved the Islander jamming his fingers into a guy’s throat and yanking out his teeth! It’s astonishing to think about how many of these stories are out there and how little mugshots there are of Tonga Fifita.
3 Uncle Tonga Helps Electricity
The most feared man to ever walk the Earth is also an extended member of the Anoa’i wrestling dynasty. The Great One has on more than one occasion referred to Haku as Uncle Tonga. For all of his wild stories, Haku remained a family man at heart. When Dwayne was just starting out, the former King led the future Most Electrifying Man In Sports Entertainment some cash. Years later, The Rock would repay that kindness by gifting Uncle Tonga a massive pickup truck.
2 A Former Sumo
There are several members of both the WCW and WWE locker rooms that believe if MMA was around when Haku was in his prime, then he would have been the world champion for as long as he wanted. While it wasn’t MMA, the legend of Haku began in earnest in Japan.
On order of the King Of Tonga, Haku, Sioni Vailahi (the future Barbarian), and several other Tongans were sent to Japan to learn Sumo. But like something out of a wrestling angle, their teacher passed away and the Tongans got into a dispute with the successor leaving Fifita to leave Japan.
1 Typical WCW
With a guy as tough and respected as Meng, you’d a promotion would be hard pressed to let the guy go. At the Sin PPV in 2001, Meng would win the WCW Hardcore Championship, his only title in the promotion. But WCW certainly wasn’t operating on all cylinders at this time and somehow let their new champion flee to WWE as a surprise Royal Rumble entrant a week later as the unbeaten Hardcore Champion.