Do you wake up on Monday morning and instantly wish it was Friday night? Such is the grind of the work wee. Forty-plus hours on seeing how much a man can take before finally snapping and leaving it all behind.
In WWE, characters are often provided with occupational gimmicks. We have seen clowns and garbage men and accountants make their way through the curtain. However, they haven't all beeb bad.
Here, we will take a look at some of the best and worst in WWE history.
15 8. Best: Joey Mercury and Jamie Nobel - Security
There is a new song to sing within the WWE Universe these days and it no longer sounds like the aggressive, hardcore style of Seth Rollins. The new song is that of a French-Canadian Superstar. (Celine Dion vibes?)
Yes, Kevin Owens has replaced Seth Rollins in the heart of Triple H. However, not that long ago, Rollins was considered the "Golden Boy" of The Authority and as such required constant watch; constant "security."
Enter two former WWE Superstars: the hapless duo of Joey Mercury and Jamie Nobel; known collectively as J&J Security. While well-intentioned, Mercury and Nobel were anything but competent security guards.
However, there antics and interactions with Seth Rollins provided some fantastic comedic relief on WWE programming. Unfortunately, J&J Security are no longer in business.
14 7. Worst: Ricardo Rodriguez - Personal Ring Announcer
On the surface, appointing one as your own personal ring announcer could work. However, when said ring announcer is annoying and you're failing to connect with the audience, there is little chance of this gimmick getting over.
Alberto Del Rio once played the role of a high-society Mexican aristocrat who enjoyed flaunting his wealth via fancy suits and expensive automobiles. To go along with this lifestyle, Del Rio would hire his own personal ring announcer.
Prior to each match (and following, pending victory) Ricardo Rodriguez would announce with great exuberance the name of Alberto Del Rio. Rodriguez would also assume the role of outside weasel; often interfering on behalf of Del Rio.
The gimmick was obnoxious; and not in a good "heel obnoxious" sense. Real life obnoxious. Potentially punch the television set obnoxious.
13 7. Best: Diamond Dallas Page - Motivational Speaker
The catchphrase was simple enough: "That's not a bad thing; that's a good thing." When your WWE debut portrayed you as a stalker, anything henceforth should definitely be considered a good thing.
The once watcher of Sara (The Undertaker's real life wife at the time) would eventually shift his focus following a Tony Robbins seminar and a little character inspiration. Diamond Dallas Page would become WWE's resident motivational speaker.
While short-lived, the Diamond Dallas Page/motivational speaker gimmick would provide some ear-to-ear smiles; from Page and fans alike. Perhaps Page assumed this role with future endeavours in mind.
DDP Yoga has bene cited by many individuals to be a life-laving service. Diamond Dallas Page has even extended personal help to some hard-up industry legends in the process.
12 6. Worst: Los Matadores - Matadores
Primo and Epico have fallen hard down the gimmick ladder in recent years. Currently working as The Shining Stars - glorified travel agents - Primo and Epico remain far from the top of said symbolic ladder.
However, even worse than The Shining Stars, Primo and Epico once assumed the role of Los Matadores. That's right, wrestling matadors. Adding to this parade of puke, Los Matadores would be accompanied by their own bull, El Torito.
El Torito (a little person dressed as a bull) would appear in a Royal Rumble match and constitute as one of Roman Reigns' record-breaking eliminations (cheap way to go about surpassing Kane).
In an awful moment for the company, WWE (against their better judgement?) would place El Torito and Hornswoggle in the first-ever WeeLC match.
11 6. Best: Brother Love - Preacher
Over the years, the WWE has produced a number of "talk shows." From Piper's Pit to The Highlight Reel, these in-house versions of daytime talk have produced a number of great segments and personalities.
In the late 1980s, WWE would introduce The Brother Love Show; hosted by a red-faced, loud-mouthed, Souther-style preacher by the name of Brother Love. The character was based on the lunacy surrounding the televangelist phase.
Brother Love - who actually served as the original manager to The Undertaker - would play the role of wrestling preacher with great enthusiasm. Love would spread his own unique message of "love" while angering many in the process.
What made this gimmick work was the mirror of real life nonsense. Everybody has seen the late-night preacher on the television; and now there was on on the wrestling show.
10 5. Worst: Road Dogg - Roadie
"Road Dogg" Jesse James will forever find himself linked to D-Generation X; which is not a bad wrestling legacy to have considering Dogg was never going to headline WrestleMania with "Stone Cold" Steve Austin.
However, prior to his degenerate lifestyle, Jesse James was simply known as "The Roadie." James would provide his handling services to the "country star" of WWE, Jeff Jarrett. In fact, James was actually much more.
When it was revealed that Jeff Jarrett's hit single "With My Baby Tonight" was actually performed by Jesse James and not Jeff Jarret, controversy ensued. Well, as much "controversy" as one could find on the WWE music scene.
The idea of a roadie tending to a WWE Superstar didn't quite make sense. Wouldn't the WWE Crew qualify as such?
9 5. Best: Jonathan Coachman - Assistant
We will get to the bad side of personal assistants in a while. For now, let's focus on the good. Jonathan Coachman, former assistant to Monday Night Raw General Manager, Eric Bishoff. Yes, "The Coach" was great at his job.
Johnathan Coachman's motives were always clear: The Coach wanted more power on Monday Night Raw and by sucking up to Erich Bischoff, Coach was going to find his spot somewhere along the way.
Jonathan Coachman has since moved on from WWE to ESPN but has maintained a working relationship with the company. Coach now hosts a weekly interview segment with current WWE Superstars.
Who knows, perhaps we will see Jonathan Coachman back on WWE television someday in a regular role.
8 4. Worst: David Otunga - Legal Advisor
Often times in WWE, their unique form of art will imitate life. Such is the case with David Otunga who in the real world is a Harvard educated Lawyer. However, this high-end education and often lowlife career choice did not translate well on WWE programming.
At one point, David Otunga served as the "Legal Advisor" of John Laurinaitis. While sippin' on a cup of coffee, Otunga would offer up his advice on certain situations and dealings going on backstage.
The gimmick while mirroring David Otunga's real life was plain awful. Perhaps this gimmick can serve as a prime example that incorporating real life into WWE programming is not always a good decision.
David Otunga currently sits at the SmackDown Live broadcast desk where the lawyer does an even worse job. Otunga is easily the worst on-air personality in WWE.
7 4. Best: Goldust - Drag Queen
The original Goldust character was a far cry from the fun-loving buddy of R-Truth. Sexual ambiguity ran wild as Goldust - a perceived Drag Queen - began to shock and scare the WWE audience and Superstars.
While the Attitude of the '90s if often credited to "Stone Cold" Steve Austin, The Rock, and D-Generation X, Goldust remains a forgotten anti-hero of the times. The character was pushing a limit that had never been pushed in professional wrestling.
However, the Goldust character was apparently "taken too far" and would soon bounce around between copycat gimmicks. Down the road, the character would return to WWE with a much more tamed approached.
However, the WWE's first Drag Queen not only proved to be a great gimmick but a timeless one as well.
6 3. Worst: Stacy Keibler - Personal Assistant
The "personal assistant" role is one that has been seen quite a few times in WWE. That said, we could have chosen a number of characters to place here for this entry but let's go with the long-legged beauty, Stacy Keibler.
Stacy Keibler was "hired" to be Vince McMahon's personal assistant following a table dance in the middle of the ring. Yes, these were the days when the women of WWE were treated with the utmost class.
Basically, Stacy Keibler was a hired escort. Keibler and Vince McMahon would take part in a number of awkward and plain painful to watch make-out sessions on WWE television; a sight for sore eyes indeed.
Thankfully, such a role would no longer find a place on WWE programming as the women have now a place among Superstars and have finally been taken seriously.
5 3. Best: Damien Sandown - Stunt Double
Damien Sandow will go down as one of the biggest wastes of potential in WWE history. Sandow could have been and should have been something more; and not simply an expendable character.
When Damien Sandow was given the Money in the Bank briefcase, there was sudden hope; hop that Sandow would finally attain the next level of stardom in WWE. However, it was all for nothing as Sandow would fail in his cash-in attempt.
Some time later, Damien Sandown would become Damien Mizdow; stunt double to The Miz. What happened next? Mizdow would absolutely steal the spotlight and shine much brighter than The Miz.
Wth the possibility of creating a new mega-star, WWE would once again ruin an opportunity and allow Damien Sandow to fade into obsurity.
4 2. Worst: Bob Backlund - Life Coach
The movement to "Make Darren Young Great Again" has seemingly failed. Young's "Life Coach" Bob Backlund has become the crazy grandfather of Monday Night Raw in the process and almost painful to watch.
Darren Young has floated around the mid-card for some time now and will likely never find his way out of said position. And let's be honest was Young ever that "great" to begin with? No, not really.
Bob Backlund has served mainly as an elderly cheerleader than actually coach. Meanwhile, Darren Young has not done anything to indicate his greatness. At best, Backlund has helped Young achieve mediocrity.
If you think way back to Kurt Angle losing the Intercontinental and European Championship on the same night, it was due to Bob Backlund's advice.
3 2. Best: Paul Bearer - Mortician
The greatest character in the history of professional wrestling will forever be known as The Undertaker. And while "The Deadman" has walked on his own for a number of years, perhaps "The Phenom" would have never gotten over with some help.
Paul Bearer - the white faced Mortician - who lead The Undertaker to the ring for a number of years played his part in helping 'Taker reach the mystics heights that he reched during the early days o his career.
Paul Bearer would eventually turn on The Undertaker but the two would reconcile and reunite years down the road. The great manager has since passed but his legacy lives on every time the gong strikes.
The Undertaker and Paul Bearer can easily be considered the greatest wrestler/manager tandem in WWE history.
2 1. Worst: Dolph Ziggler - Caddy
The brand new Intercontinental Champion duked the WWE fans with recent rumours of his departure following his match against The Miz at the No Mercy Pay-Per-View event. Ziggler finally won something once again.
Now, what does the future hold for "The Show Off?" It would appear a newfound hope; and potential push back to the main event scene. Dolph Ziggler is back in a big way following this big victory.
Not bad for a guy who was once a male cheerleader. Of course, that's not the worst part of Dolph Ziggler's career. Prior to wearing the green tack suit, Ziggler accompanied Kerwi White (Chavo Guerrero) to the ring.
Sounds harmless enough, right? Well, olph Ziggler would actually assume the role of a Caddy during this early phase of his career.
1 1. Best: Paul Heyman - Advocate
Sure, and Advocate is not a common career choice but for those who play it well, play it really well. And who plays the part better than Paul Heyman? Nobody. Heyman is the absolute best at what he does.
Representing Brock Lesnar, Paul Heyman has helped make "The Beast" the most marketable Superstar in WWE. Heyman puts Lesnar over in a big way and sells his matched with his sly speech.
Paul Heyman has been called a number of things over the years. Sleaze. Crook. Loudmouth. However, bad entertainer will never be associated with Heyman. "The Advocate" is simply the best.
Hopefully, more Paul Heyman screen time arrives in the near future as Heyman can make any segment worth watching.
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