Theodore "Teddy" Long was the mack daddy of SmackDown for nearly a decade. From 2004 to 2012, Long reigned supreme as the General Manager of the blue brand. The charismatic former on-screen boss of SmackDown hasn't been seen on WWE television for over a year, but he's still active on the internet in the form of dank memes made by fans, mostly about his penchant for tag team matches, playa!
Throughout Teddy Long's storied career spanning three decades, he has taken on many roles in the great business of professional wrestling. Long has played the role of referee, a provocative heel manager, and an authoritative yet wacky general manager. But when it comes to memes, most fans seem to only remember him for stringing together tag-team bouts, putting people up against Da Undertaker, and Holla Holla Holla! Let's get to those memes!
10 Hey, Playa, There's Tag Team Matches, Tag Team Matches Everywhere... Holla Holla
"X, X Everywhere" is a relatively popular meme that can be found on various social media websites. This meme typically features Toy Story character Buzz Lightyear explaining to his pal Woody about something being everywhere, and any meme-maker can fill in the blanks as to what that something might be. In this case, that something is Teddy Long and his blatant obsession with booking tag team matches.
As any pro wrestling fan, who watched WWE programming between 2004 and 2012, will tell you is that when it comes to Teddy Long as general manager, there were always tag team matches everywhere, playa!
9 Want To See What Happens When You Refuse A Tag Team Match, Playa?
We weren't kidding when we said Teddy Long is obsessed with tag team matches. In this meme, Long has completely lost it and set a limo on fire because someone refused to take part in one of his impromptu tag team matches. The image of the burning limousine dates back to June 11, 2007, during a storyline in which Vince McMahon was presumed dead after his limo exploded. This storyline was discarded a couple of weeks later following the real-life death of Chris Benoit. However, this storyline continues to live on in the form of this hilarious Teddy Long meme.
8 Fake Karate-Master Teddy Long Says, "You Will Go One On One With Da Undertaka"
Besides his unquestioned love for "surprise" tag team matches, SmackDown GM Teddy Long was known to punish the bad guys by making them go one-on-one with "The Demon of Death Valley" The Undertaker. But when it comes to the background story of this image, Teddy Long is punishing the fans by making them sit through an awful one-on-one encounter between himself and Raw GM Eric Bischoff at the 2005 edition of WWE Survivor Series. Let's just say this fight wasn't a "match of the year" candidate. Thankfully, it only lasted for a little over five minutes before The Boogeyman came out and helped Long pick up the victory over a legit black belt karate master.
7 Teddy Long's Decision Chart
To say Teddy Long made predictable decisions as a general manager would be an understatement. His formula to success was fairly simple; either a tag team match would be in the works or possibly a one-on-one encounter with The Undertaker, with the occasional Randy Orton to fill in for The Deadman. By taking a quick look at Teddy Long's decision-making chart, it's not hard to see how this trend can become both humorous and stale at the same time. Seriously, Teddy, haven't you heard that variety is the spice of life? We still love you, though.
6 Teddy Long Pokémon Card
Teddy Long must be the rarest Pokémon known to mankind. No other Pokémon can win a battle with a "Holla Holla Dance" and by doing so completely incapacitate their opponent. What other Pokémon do you know that will make you compete in a tag team match or make you go one-on-one with The Undertaker?
At the bottom of the meme are the words "fake card," as if the reader hasn't already guessed that this isn't an authentic Pokémon card. But don't you wish it were? How cool would it be to see a little Teddy Long pop up on your next Pokémon Go playthrough? Gotta catch 'em all!
5 Teddy Long's Love For All Things Tag Team May Go Back Further Than We Think
Even when Teddy Long was a young lad he still couldn't stop declaring "tag team match" for all to hear, at least according to this meme. Of course, this little boy really isn't the actual real-life child version of Theodore Long, but let's play along for memesake. And we all know a tag team match is never a wrong answer when it comes to the former SmackDown general manager.
By the way, 'two plus two equals tag team' sounds a lot cooler than 'two plus two equals four' even though that'd be an incorrect answer on a math test. We'll give little Long an A for effort!
4 Teddy Long's Taken Meme
Teddy Long will stop at nothing until you're placed in a tag team match, playa! If you're familiar with the Taken franchise then you'd have no problem deciphering this meme. In this meme, someone had obviously done Teddy Long wrong. This person may have not gone as far as to kidnap his daughter like in the first Taken, but still far enough for Long to track down the culprit and book a tag team contest out of retribution. Whoever it is, he or she will soon face the wrath of a numbingly reoccurring trend of professional wrestling booking.
3 Teddy Long Knows How To Stop Kim Jong Un's Ballistic Missiles
Teddy Long knows that neither Kim Jong Un nor his ballistic missiles are any match for a tag team match, playa! Long wasn't afraid to stand up to SmackDown's top competitors and show them who's boss, much like in this meme he isn't afraid to confront the North Korean dictator. But what will Teddy Long say to this chubby-face heel? Considering that it may be hard for Kim to find a tag team partner, Long might make him fight The Undertaker! Now, that's a match worth seeing. Holla! Holla! Holla!
2 Teddy Long Loses Job As GM, Tag Team Matches Turn To Singles Competition
When Teddy Long walked away from his role as general manager of SmackDown, it left a tag-team-sized hole in the heart of many a wrestling fan. After spending nearly a decade as GM of the blue brand, Long forfeited his spot to John Laurinaitis after his team lost in a winner-take-all twelve-man tag team match at WrestleMania XXVIII in which "Big Johnny" became both the Raw and SmackDown GM. It's a shame that Long came out the loser, but at least he went out with one more huge tag team match, playa!
1 Teddy Long Runs Into Kids On A Playground, Books A Tag Team Match
Alright, Teddy Long might have a problem here. He's clearly addicted to booking tag team matches. Not saying tag team matches are itself a problem, but he obviously just went overboard. They're children, Teddy! Little kids shouldn't be tag team wrestling on the playground. The "Don't Try This At Home" motto should really mean something, but in this case, don't try this on the playground either. Though knowing the influence of professional wrestling, it may all be inevitable anyway. But, kids, if you are by chance reading this, it's better to leave the tag team wrestling to the professionals!