So WrestleMania 33 is almost here. The card is shaping up and a lot of it just seems very underwhelming. Does anyone think Brock Lesnar vs. Goldberg III will be any good? Does anyone care to see Randy Orton win another WWE Championship? Do they really have to do the giant battle royal every year? Does anyone still think The New Day’s funny?
RAW was okay. It had its moments. SmackDown Live was a bit better due to a) the show-stealing performance by the phenomenally sadistic AJ Styles and b) it’s an hour shorter, and less is more. Here are the five best and five worst moments this week in WWE.
5. WORST – Silence For The SmackDown Main Event
American Alpha were defeated by The Usos in the main event of SmackDown. I guess this means a title match on the pre-show of Wrestlemania but the crowd couldn’t care less — instead more focused on the backstage drama involving Shane McMahon. This isn’t to blame the Superstars involved in the match, but WWE Creative hasn’t really given us a reason to care about it’s tag team divisions. A main event match now is too little too late.
5. BEST – Bray Wyatt More Powerful Than Ever?
After Randy Orton burned the remains of Sister Abigail, we thought Bray Wyatt had lost his powers for good. But leave it to that weirdo to find her ashes and baptize himself by rubbing her remains all over his body to absorb her evilness. Gross.
Cheesy? Yes. But it works. I like to believe Bray Wyatt isn’t really supernatural, but is crazy enough to believe he is. For example, if he actually possessed powers, wouldn’t Orton have actually been brainwashed? And wouldn’t Bray have defeated Cena at WrestleMania XXX?
4. WORST – Another Pointless Dolph Ziggler Segment
Dolph Zigger turning heel was supposed to reinvigorate the showoff, but instead he’s just bouncing around from point a to point boring. Remember when he attempted to murder Jerry Lawler? We want more of that. Instead, he and Mojo Riley are in a feud we’re failing to care about. They’re fighting about who is going to win the Andre The Giant Battle Royal even though we know both of them won’t win the Andre The Giant Battle Royal.
4. BEST – Seth Rollins is… Back?
Mick Foley was given the task by Stephanie McMahon to fire somebody by the end of RAW just because. So because Mick Foley didn’t want to, Stephanie and Triple H horribly scolded him before socking him in the nuts. Where is WWE’s HR department?
Seth Rollins eventually ran out for the save only for Triple H to get the upper hand once again and re-re-injure Seth’s knee. This time, in storyline. At least, I hope so.
What exactly does this mean? Was this just a way to tell us Seth Rollins won’t be competing at WrestleMania? Or is the match back on? We don’t know, but we’re intrigued.
3. WORST – A WrestleMania Opportunity? Nah
Nia Jax is not happy about not being included in the RAW Women’s Championship match at WrestleMania. So McMahon and Foley decide to give her an opportunity by putting her in a match with the the Champion Bayley. If she would win, they would consider adding her to the match. So what does Nia do? Instead of actually trying to reign supreme, she gets herself disqualified instead by beating the living hell out of Bayley.
Why do the heels have to be so careless and dumb? If Nia doesn’t care to win, she shouldn’t compete at WrestleMania. Better yet, Mick Foley should’ve just fired her.
3. BEST – 205 Live Main Event
In the main event of 205 Live, a Five Man Elimination match saw Austin Aries pen himself into the Cruiserweight Championship match at WrestleMania. Like always, the five men involved (Aries, TJ Perkins, Brian Kendrick, Akria Tozawa, and Tony Nese) delivered top-notch action and even though Aries would predictably win, it’s deserved. I don’t know what changed, but I’m actually invested in the Cruiserweights and you should be too.
2. WORST – Another WrestleMania Opportunity? Nah
Solidifying the fact that these guys are absolutely awful, Luke Gallows and Karl Anderson interfered in the Number One Contenders match to make sure there would be no winner. Their reasoning? If nobody won, then nobody could face them at WrestleMania. I’m sorry, but since when do WWE Superstars try and get themselves OFF the card at WrestleMania? This is another example of terrible writing by WWE’s creative team. If wrestling were real, Mick Foley should have stripped them from their titles and fired these a******* too.
2. BEST – Braun Strowman Kills Roman Reigns
So after Roman Reigns failed to take Shawn Michaels’ warning seriously, Roman cockily walked up the ramp, did his stupid little head nod and WHAM – with one swift hit, Braun Strowman knocked Roman flying down the ramp in what looked like legitimate murder. It was awesome. These were easily the best five seconds I’ve seen of Roman Reigns.
1. WORST – Jetsons Jealousy
In another horrible segment featuring The New Day, The Big Show was interviewed by the formally important tag team to talk about The Jetsons. If you didn’t already know (because you probably don’t care), The Big Show got a starring role in the cartoon and midway through the cheap plug, Titus O’Neil interrupted to tell us that the role should have been given to him instead. This resulted in a pointless match between the two because RAW is too long. That and WWE Creative can’t make three hours creatively interesting.
1. BEST – AJ Styles Snaps
Randy Orton commits arson and instead of going to jail, gets to main event WrestleMania. Make sense? AJ Styles doesn’t think so either. After Shane McMahon and Daniel Bryan forced Styles through hoops all for nothing, Styles finally snapped this past Tuesday by viciously beating up McMahon and smashing his head through a car window. Ouch.
We all knew it was coming. AJ Styles vs. Shane McMahon IS happening. As much as we could moan and groan at the predictability, they did a great job setting this up.
Until next week!
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