Day-to-day life can be dull and monotonous; a continuous routine filled with boredom, repetitive work flow, and predetermined meals. Each day is just another day gone by that inches each and every one of us closer to the inevitable fate of all humankind; sweet, sour, sorrowful death.
Sure, the world has its share of eternal optimists; the one’s who preach about running, and yoga, and rock-climbing, and all that gibberish that you know you’re never going to try anyway. And, in the back of your mind you envision yourself throwing a hard hook at their jawbone.
This is why people have vices. Drunkards and dope fiends and sadomasochists all searching for a cheap and worthwhile thrill; just to feel something different than yesterday and the day before that and the many years prior.
Professional wrestling can also provide an escape route for the imagination. Monday mornings may suck at the office but come Monday night; fantasies of stomping on the boss while watching the squared-circle lunatics do their thing for a couple of hours.
Of course, like everything in life, one could overdo it with wrestling; become addicted to the fantasy world and the joys of cheering and jeering your favorite faces and heels. Suddenly, you’ve become a wrestling junkie and you don’t know how to quit the stuff.
If you have in fact reached this point, then chances are this infatuation with professional wrestling has at some point gotten in the way of your regular life; thrown something off course or out has outright overruled a certain aspect of your world.
The following article is not meant to be a therapy session but simply an introspective look at the wrestling junkie. After all, there are far worse things to which one can be addicted – it’s only a little wrasslin’ … right?
These are the top 10 ways your wrestling addiction has interfered with your social life:
10. You’ve Been Mocked
Chances are you have faced some harsh criticism for your love of professional wrestling. You have been asked the same questions time and time again: “don’t you know it’s fake?” and “how can you watch that stuff?” And of course, those smug people who ask these questions feel an unearned sense of pride as though they were the first to call you out on your wrestling habit.
However, most die-hard fans have learned to accept the mocking and simply look past the rolled eyes and snide comments. And hey, as long as you never reach the point of the “it’s still real to me, damn it!” guy, you’ll be all right (Watch the video above if you are unfamiliar. Funny stuff).
9. You’ve Been Misunderstood
You were first introduced to professional wrestling as a child. In all likelihood, you cheered for Hulk Hogan and Macho Man Randy Savage. Then you went to high school and you still liked wrestling. Now, you were rooting for guys like Stone Cold Steve Austin and The Rock.
Then the real world hit you and you were suddenly an adult but you still had the wrestling juice running through your veins. You began to be more cynical but you still tuned in each week. You booed John Cena and cheered for CM Punk and nobody understood why you were still watching this stuff?
You don’t bother to explain; you just keep watching and allow those around you to question your choices as though you have committed some sort of vile action.
8. You’ve Ignored People
Sometimes you become one with your television set, so tuned in and dropped out from everything else that surrounds you in the room. You become locked into the professional wrestling trance. The circus has captured your utmost attention.
This has lead to you ignoring the people in your life. You can’t talk on the phone right now because Vince McMahon was shown walking out to the ring before the commercial break and you must hear what he has to say when he makes his way out in front of the live crowd.
7. You’ve Had Arguments
What was that? Did somebody call your favorite angle/storyline a dumb idea? Worse … Did somebody diss your favorite superstar? … Just let it go, man. Just let it go! … Ah, but you can’t. You absolutely must say something to this clueless casual fan.
Henceforth, you find yourself in an argument; a wrestling argument that really has no winner. The common rule states: no religion or politics while in a social setting. These subjects often lead to heated debates. However, whenever you’re around the rule is altered: no religion, politics, or wrestling.
6. You’ve Confused People
Whenever you have a friend around who is just as much a wrestling junkie as you are; things are going to get weird. Quotes will be tossed around throughout the night that only the two of you will understand.
This in turn will confuse all those around you and your buddy. “What the hell are they talking about?” someone will ask. “Oh, they’re just doing their wrestling schtick,” someone will reply. And now, you and your buddy are essentially left to yourselves; outcasts without realization.
5. You’ve Injured Someone
Every time you sit and watch the wrestling show you develop that itch. That desire to go out there and do it for yourself. Hell, you’ve been watching all your life; how hard can it really be? So, you convince yourself and someone else that you know what you’re doing.
The results are bad. You have no idea how to properly execute a maneuver and you friend is now laid out on the basement floor. You get called a plethora of horrible names as you attempt to help him up but he wants nothing to do with you and your delusion.
4. You’ve Skipped Gatherings
You receive a text telling you how the whole group is getting together on Sunday night. It’s Autumn and it’s football season. The bar will be stocked with cold beer and greasy pub food; things that you do enjoy but not this time around.
Survivor Series is Sunday and your friends really expect you to miss out on one of the “Big Four” Pay-Per-Views? Not going to happen. Sure, you love football as well but you can always catch the highlights later on in the night.
3. You’ve Suffered Through Monday Hangovers
WrestleMania was last night and you just couldn’t get Monday off or you couldn’t afford to miss another class. However, this is the biggest event of the year and the few friends in your life who will actually sit and watch wrestling with you have come over to enjoy the show.
Naturally, you had to crack open and brew which lead to another and another and before you knew it; you were wasted away on the couch cursing at the main event. The next morning was rough and you had to force your way to the office/warehouse/classroom.
2. You’ve Been Rejected
You’ve been searching for a long time but could never find someone who loves wrestling in the same capacity. You brought it up on dates – foolishly – and were looked at with complete disdain. “You’re actually into that stuff?”
The date is over and you know there will not be a second. You’re feeling down but it’s all right. You have the WWE Network. You go home and watch old D-Generation X programming and you laugh and feel better and forget about that awful date.
1. You’ve Lost Love
All right, so you’ve moved on from the bad date aforementioned in entry #2 and actually found a woman/man who can tolerate your wrestling addiction. This person is a keeper so hold on for dear life … don’t let go!
However, they still can’t quite fully grasp the concept of you and your friends in tights. This strains your relationship and you know that in order to save it; you must kick this evil habit and replace it with something more conventional.
But, you just can’t let go of all this junk. It has been there for you when you were feeling down and needed an escape from reality. Such is the life of the wrestling addict.
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