Wrestling plays an exaggeration of many primal instincts. Winning and losing, aggression, vulnerability, survival, strong men and attractive women. These basic traits are blown up on a grand stage for the entertainment of millions (and millions).
Women have long held roles in wrestling as competitors and valets, but they really began to take a larger role during the Attitude Era. Ever since Vince McMahon gave that landmark promo about 'the cure for the common show' a heavy amount of sex appeal was introduced to their product. Sable and Debra led the full frontal assault. Wrestling began to resemble the Jerry Springer show and the fans were eating it up. Puppies were praised and matches could involve dressing gowns, bras, and panties. The temperature would rise over the next few years with Torrie and Sable sharing a kiss and Edge and Lita sharing a bed, all on cable television.
The PG era has removed the obvious sexual elements but there are still plenty of puppies to go around. The girls have a much larger focus on actual wrestling, but they are still dressed as skimpy as possible (within the PG rating) and know how to work a crowd just by bending over to enter the ring.
Critics have pointed out that many of the Divas over the past several years were barely more than models who took a crash course in wrestling. They were rarely given more than a few minutes of TV time to wrestle so it hardly seemed to matter. But with NXT producing some top-notch female wrestling that rivals any of the men, the times look to be changing. Fortunately for lovers of puppies, the new crop of girls who can 'go' are just as gorgeous as the ones who can't.
For this list, we’re looking at the puppies of past and present, fake and real. So let’s take a look at what Jerry Lawler has been screaming about for all these years.
15 15. Terri Runnels
Obviously fake but iconic all the same. Her revealing outfits, epic cleavage, and gravity-defying orbs made a huge impression on the male fanbase. Her constant oral fixation on her lucky cigar put the look over the top.
Runnels had a long career that started in WCW way back in 1988. She was originally a makeup artist for CNN, doing what she could with Larry King’s mug. She moonlighted on the weekends prettying up the talent at jim Crockett promotions before becoming on-screen talent herself.
14 14. Lita
Not my cup of tea but she has plenty of fans out there who have proclaimed her pair as the best so she’s worked her way onto this list.
Besides her great wrestling career, she had many enticing moments with WWE. Teasing Matt Hardy with the puppies he’ll never experience again and of course the infamous sex with Edge segment.
13 13. Miss Elizabeth
For many young wrestling fans of the 80s, she was their first crush. Her incredible beauty and gentle demeanor added a touch of class.
Elizabeth was far different than most valets in history. She didn’t scream and she hardly slapped; she didn’t even say very much. She just quietly stood by her crazy man Randy Savage acting as an effective opposite.
But her beauty was radiant. The WWE loved having movie stars to pump up their image and she definitely looked like one.
As far as puppies go Elizabeth always looked great, but when she went to WCW it definitely looked like she had some work done. This was the era of Nitro Girls and Sable. Almost every woman in the business at that time had augmentation.
12 12. Kelly Kelly
This girl looks so nice they named her twice.
Making her WWE debut at the tender age of 19, Kelly was shocked to learn of the strip tease she would be performing. What might have been even more shocking is how she learned about it.
We all know that Vince is very hands-on with his talent, (and in Kelly’s case I completely understand). But this story is so weird that it almost ruins the sexy performance she put on. Apparently, when Vince explained the routine to her, he actually demonstrated it for her as well.
11 11. Debra
The women who gave birth to the term, Debra will always own a spot on this list.
Debra looked perfectly fine in WCW but before and after shots suggest she may have had a host of work done before debuting in the WWE. The boob job ended up becoming her gimmick with The King bouncing in his seat yelling ‘puppies!’ any time she drew near. Soon enough, the promotion contracted puppy fever and evening gown matches were invented.
10 10. Sable
Like Debra, Sable looked (and sounded) older than most of the women in wrestling, but made up for it with her assets and her ability to work them. In the age of American Pie, she worked the milf-fantasy angle quite well.
She battled Debra and the rest for puppy supremacy in evening gown matches and the like, but her wrestling career most likely peaked during her bikini match with Jacqueline. When fans thought they were finally going to see her puppies in the flesh, they were instead greeted with the hand prints of underwear. Strange hand prints painted in black will forever live in the memories of wrestling fans.
9 9. Stacy Keibler
My pick for hottest wrestling woman of all time has to go to Ms. Hancock herself. Her puppies weren’t the biggest but so what? Her body is damn near perfection and it’s all in perfect proportion. To augment it would be a crime against humanity.
Those long legs, unmatched ability to wear a thong and angelic face make her the true Total Package (sorry/not sorry Lex).
8 8. Eva Marie
Eva had a serious health scare earlier this year when one of her implants ruptured. The doctors recommended a removal before they leaked into her breast tissue, causing serious problems.
Eva's career had just started to take off and she actually was reluctant to go through with the surgery as it would have forced her to take a few months off for recovery. The Bella Twins helped her make the right decision and Eva had them replaced.
7 7. Maryse Ouellet
She seems to be quite fascinated with her pups as many of her own photos are aimed much lower than her face.
To no one’s surprise, Maryse background was in modeling instead of wrestling. She even won Miss Hawaiian Tropic Canada in 2003, which is a modeling competition created by a suntan lotion company. It’s actually a longstanding competition and many winners move onto other things like….Playboy.
Ouellet made it much further than Playboy however as she won the Divas Championship and was PWI’s ninth best Female Wrestler in 2009.
6 6. Nikki Bella
Finally, a way to tell the twins apart!
Nikki was asked about her recent additions and said, “I paid $6,500 for these babies so I’m proud!” Many fans would agree it was money well spent. Though considering her job as a Diva, I’m sure she can write them off as a business expense.
Nikki and her sister are fitness freaks so her incredibly rock hard body holds her implants well. Although this does mean Brie has to stuff her bra to perform their patented Twin Magic.
5 5. Beulah Mcgillicutty
A real vixen. Beulah had the look of a bad girl who would get you into the kind of trouble worth getting into. The slightly tousled hair, exotic eyes, dangerous lips and tight body were the best reason to follow ECW. She could pull off multiple looks as well. My favorite was her cheerleader gimmick with pig tails and school spirit sweater, but she was equally beautiful dolled up or even in fighting gear.
4 4. Alicia Fox
Would you believe that John Laurinaitis should be thanked by the WWE Universe?
While browsing a fashion catalogue (a bit creepy), Johnny Ace discovered the foxy one and got her signed. She has been heating up the Diva’s Division ever since.
Johnny Ace did good as Alicia is drop dead gorgeous and looks to be all-natural as well.
A quick google search will find a wonderful bouncy gif of Alicia in all of her glory. The Miz is trying his hardest not to be ignored by the camera, silly Miz. I don’t remember seeing Sable’s having that kind of motion.
Alicia is as foxy as her name, and her natural assets keep us wanting more.
3 3. Torrie Wilson
One of the hotter Divas in WWE, Torrie had quite the package. She not only had the bleached blonde look but was pretty from head to toe and had a banging body.
She starred in the promotion during it’s most titillating times. Her lesbian-esque scenes with Sable and Dawn Marie are two of the most risque segments WWE has ever produced.
2 2. Trish Stratus
Trish didn’t need fake breasts to become Diva of the Decade, but they didn’t hurt.
Stratus was the WWE’s Pamela Anderson. She had a smouldering look that oozed sex appeal from her tight little frame. Others got the ball rolling for the Attitude Era women, but Trish blew them away with her combination of sex appeal and actual wrestling ability.
Post-wrestling, Trish had her implants removed and went back to her natural hair color. She’s a successful yoga queen and unbelievably looks better than ever.
The King once said he didn’t know what the Seven Wonders of the World were, but he knew Trish had TWO of them.
1 1. Maria Kanellis
Maria only placed fifth in 2004’s Raw Diva Search, but she made a lasting impression on the WWE Universe. She displayed the right ‘attitude’ when she gave the Steve Austin middle finger salute upon elimination.
In a world that’s far too artificial, Maria is a breast of fresh air. In a Playboy interview, Maria called her natural beauties ‘Tiggers’ for the way they bounce around in a wrestling match.
I'll leave you to imagine the many other situations in which her Tiggers could be made to bounce.
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