Giving a wrestler the right theme song can instantly make him or her memorable. It's fitting that some of the biggest legends in the business also have some of the best theme songs ever. Names like Stone Cold, Hulk Hogan, The Undertaker and The Rock all had amazing themes, not only because they are awesome to hear, but they also match the characters these guys portrayed.
Even today in WWE, there are some awesome themes that are undoubtedly on a playlist of yours. Many of you have probably played Bobby Roode's "Glorious" theme on repeat or have bobbed your head to AJ Styles' theme.
This list won't just be focusing on the worst wrestling theme songs of all time. When a theme is incredibly bad and sticks around a long time, chances are it will remain seared in your brain. I'm sure by now, you can't get the Mr.Ass theme out of your head. While that song might be on a worst list, it's memorable so it's not on here.
We're focusing on the forgotten themes of the past. Here are 15 themes that will get you mad at me for bringing back to your attention. Enjoy!
15 Sting - Man Called Sting
While many love to make fun of the later days of WCW, the company had a pretty bad run in the early 90s as well. It was like they were trying to be what the WWE was but took things a step in the wrong direction. One constant in WCW was that Sting was always their top star and this was a time in his career when he was coming to the ring in colorful face paint and tights.
Sting had some of the best WCW themes, particularly when he switched to his 'Crow' persona, but this theme "Man Called Sting" is incredibly cheesy.
‘He does this, he does that…..drives the girls wild, old people act like a child’
The worst part about this is, it did nothing to tailor to Sting. This song could have gone to anyone by merely omitting the word Sting from the song.
14 David Flair
Well I suppose it's only fitting that one of the worst wrestlers from WCW would also have some of the company's worst themes. Truth be told, none of David Flair's theme songs were good and it was hard deciding which one to go with here. I opted for the 'Spin, Spin,Spin' theme simply because it sounds incredibly generic. When you think of Ric Flair's theme, it's so majestic and captures the essence of The Nature Boy. Granted, David Flair wasn't originally planned to be a permanent fixture on WCW television, but how on earth did the company think this paint by numbers theme would elicit any sort of reaction?
It's not that the music itself is terrible, but this sounds like it'd be the opening theme for an 80s action show.
Flair's 'Crowbar' gimmick music sure wasn't great, but at least it did a little more to fit with his character.
13 John Cena -
When John Cena first debuted on WWE television, he came down to the ring in a ridiculous haircut to challenge Kurt Angle. Cena walked down the ramp to generic jobber type music. Eventually Cena evolved into a rapper and with it had to come hip hop music. Don't worry, his 'Doctor Of Thuganomics' theme is not what I've listed here. I thoroughly enjoyed that one.
No, this is the one Cena had before recording his own theme song. This was a theme with no lyrics, which would allow Cena to spew his own trash talk on his way down to the ring. It includes a lot of spinning record sounds and gives you a headache after a while. This sounds like it would be in a Tony Hawk PS1 game.
Thankfully Cena got over enough to convince the company to let him sing his own theme.
12 Steven Regal - A Real Man's Man
Okay, this theme is bad, but for me, it almost falls under the 'it's so bad, it's good' type of category. Before William Regal came to the WWE under the gimmick of "Britain's good-will ambassador" he had a run with WWE in 1998 as Steven Regal, A Real Man's Man. This theme would include the sound of a hard work day at the quarry ending, then boasting how Regal was a real man's man.
What makes it even cornier is the titantron. It includes visuals of Regal squeezing his own orange juice, shaving his face with a knife and lugging heavy bags on his back. This theme was short lived, as Regal would make his way back to WCW for about a year after this, before returning to the WWE for good.
11 American Males
For some reason, many of WCW's wrestlers were built around the image of chippendales dancers. This horrific theme belonged to Marcus (Buff) Bagwell and Scotty Riggs. WCW also seemed to have a recurring theme in their entrance songs that would include lame rock. This one took it to a whole new level though. On top of the lame rock, the American Males' theme also included lame techno sound effects and even lamer robot vocals. The robot vocals simply featured robots singing 'American Males, American Males' over and over again.
The lyrics also went on to say: ‘If they want to talk to you, you better not listen. You might wind up in critical condition’.
It just goes to show what kind of garbage can slip through the cracks when you don't have WWE's Jim Johnston there to compose some good music.
10 Chris Jericho - First WCW Theme
Chris Jericho has one of the most iconic themes in wrestling history. Since debuting with the WWE in 1999 he's come out to the same music, with some tweaks here and there. Even though Jericho continuously evolves his character, somehow the theme is always true to him. This wasn't the case in WCW though. Jericho was originally given one of the lamest themes you could imagine.
Sure, Jericho was originally just some lame pretty boy babyface, but how on earth did this theme get approved? This sounds like the opening theme for a teen show airing on Saturday mornings. You could just picture a group of teenagers walking and laughing along a beach while this music plays.
I'm sure if Jericho wanted, he could have just written and composed a song himself. Jericho definitely wouldn't claim to have invented this.
9 Jesse & Festus
Okay, we get that Jesse and Festus were supposed to be country boys, but how on earth would a theme beginning with the words "Biscuits & Gravy" get over with a mainstrem wrestling audience?
If any babyface team on the main roster wants to make fun of Luke Gallows, they should pull up this old theme to play on the screen. Needless to say, this music was part of a lame gimmick that were Jesse & Festus.
Ray Gordy (Jesse), son of Fabulous Freebird Terry Gordy never really got a chance to shine in WWE, especially after getting this theme. He has since retired from the wrestling business and is now a police officer in Atlanta.
Gallows was able to overcome the Festus gimmick and eventually joined CM Punk's Straight Edge Society.
8 Rob Conway
After splitting up La Resistance, the WWE still saw some potential in Rob Conway as a singles star and had to find a good gimmick. With Conway having a good physique, the WWE decided to give him the gimmick of a self absorbed individual who was obsessed with how good he looked. Thus, they gave him this horribly cheesy theme that outlined how great the character thought he looked.
'Just look at me.
Ain’t I a sight to see?
The whole damn world wants to look like me,
But they don’t, so just look at me.'
While you would think that a theme like this would go to a comedic jobber, the WWE actually thought this theme would help make Conway a star. Needless to say, he went nowhere with this theme.
7 Kung Fu Naki
Funaki was initially a part of the Kaientai stable when he first arrived in WWE. After his fellow Kaientai mates left WWE, Funaki was mostly used as a SmackDown announcer. Amazingly Funaki was an active wrestler for 12 years in the WWE, but was never given a semi-serious gimmick. One time, in a backstage segment in 2008, Funaki revealed to R-Truth that his full name was Kung Fu Naki. From there, he adopted the new gimmick of Kung Fu Naki and began incorporating theatrical martial arts moves into his moveset. His titantron even included cheesy green screen effects.
'Kung Fu Naki, yeah
(Oh, oh, Kung Fu Naki)
Gotta believe he wasn’t born in Milwaukee
(Kung Fu Naki)
Mighta grown up in Nagasaki, yeah'
Any chance Funaki had of moving up the card in WWE was killed with this theme and gimmick.
6 Reverend D-Von
When the WWE first split brands in 2002, they decided to split up their most iconic tag team, The Dudley Boyz. Perhaps they felt the Dudleys had done all they could as a tag team and they wanted to see if either guy was capable of being a singles star. Bubba Ray would prett much retain the Dudley gimmick on RAW, but when D-Von went to SmackDown, he adopted a new gimmick, one of a crooked reverend. Pretty soon, Reverend D-Von was born and D-Von took his 'testify' catchphrase to a whole other level. He began acting as Vince McMahon's spiritual advisor and even brought in Batista as his deacon.
With it, came some terrible church music. I will admit though, that it's a pretty catchy theme, but thankfully the gimmick was scrapped and the WWE reunited the Dudleys just months after splitting them up.
5 Kerwin White
Chavo Guerrero was given one of the worst gimmicks imaginable back in 2005. He renounced his Mexican heritage and adopted the name of Kerwin White. He began proclaiming 'if it's not white, it's not right'. He would dye his hair light blond and dressed in golf shorts and cheesy sweaters. With his gimmick came a terrible theme with lyrics summarizing the old fashioned American dream. The dream of waking up in a big house, with a white picket fence. The song boasted "I never thought my life could be this good."
This theme was short lived, which is probably why it's now forgotten. The gimmick was dropped following Eddie Guerrero's tragic death, which prompted Chavo to take back the Guerrero name. The gimmick change to Kerwin White though, did irreparable damage to Chavo's WWE career.
4 Rocky Maivia - Blue Chipper
Rocky Maivia was already one of the lamest characters ever thought of by the creative team. The fact that Dwayne Johnson was given yet another white meat babyface gimmick was a sign that WWE still didn't know what would click with a late 90s crowd. Here they had a talent that had all the potential in the world to be a big star and they gave him a gimmick that was 10 years too late.
Anyway, with a plain gimmick like this, naturally it would come with lame music. Maivia eventually got a second theme that would sound very similar to his subsequent themes as The Rock, but his original one included generic rock and clearly wouldn't get anybody over. All I can say is, thank God Dwayne Johnson spoke up and told Vince McMahon he wanted to turn heel.
3 Right To Censor
If you got this horrible theme out of your head after all these years, I'm sorry for bringing it back in. Right To Censor emerged as a faction as the WWE's way of playing to the fact that the PTC (Parent Television Council) wanted them to tone down on the racy content they were producing during the Attitude Era. They even threatened to boycott several of WWE's sponsors. Thus Right To Censor was born and led by Steven Richards, who was booked as a cult like leader and full of hypocrisy.
Eventually the group recruited the pimp Godfather, the adult-film star Val Venis and former Women's Champion Ivory. Oh yeah and there was Bull Buchanon too.
All this theme is, is a siren continuously wailing for minutes on end. Even if it kind of fit with the group, it still is horrible to listen to, even after all these years.
Following the permanent split of D-Generation X, all of the group's members besides Triple H had trouble finding their own identity outside the group. X-Pac was eventually paired with Justin Credible and in February 2001, Albert joined the group, forming the X-Factor. This theme was produced by Uncle Kracker and Kid Rock. The theme doesn't sound anything close to what a wrestling theme should sound like.
For years, X-Pac had been coming to the ring with an awesome remix of D-X's theme. X-Pac was completley left in limbo once he got this theme, as he had no chance of getting over. I still don't quite know what the X-Factor stable was supposed to be and clearly the WWE didn't know either, as not much thought went into this theme.
1 Isaac Yankem
Much like the Right To Censor theme, you probably put this one out of your head. After all, Isaac Yankem was one of the worst gimmicks ever thought of, and it's amazing Glenn Jacobs was able to resurrect his career after this abomination. Under the gimmick of the sadistic dentist, Yankem had a theme that consisted of drilling sounds you would hear at an evil dentist's office. I tried to find any theme that would sound worse than this, but I can't find any.
I suppose there was nothing else WWE could really do with his entrance music once they determined he'd be an evil dentist. Still though, a wrestling theme shouldn't want to make you cover your ears. It should pique your interest and get you invested in the character. I'm sure many people were hitting mute on their TVs when Isaac Yankem made his entrance.
Leave A Comment
Looking for an AD FREE EXPERIENCE on TheSportster?Get Your Free Access Now!