The life of a professional wrestler is not a simple one.
Between the hectic schedule, bouncing between hotel rooms, daily workouts, daily training, sticking to a strict diet and multiple public appearances, there isn't a whole lot that is simple.
However, there are those that have life much easier than others: those that pull up their tights or trunks, lace up their boots and go on with their careers as planned; those are the blessed wrestlers.
The true difficulty comes when you stick to that schedule, do those workouts, make those public appearances and then when it comes down to the nitty gritty, you have to wear something that's ridiculously impractical while you're slammed around in front of 15,000 people on a nightly basis.
"Forget tights and trunks," Chief Overlord McMahon says to his bright-eyed new recruits. "Here's a loincloth or some generic lingerie, go out there and get yourself over."
While some in this list have made their awkward wrestling outfits work, others have become an embarrassing part of wrestling folklore - and one of the top Google search result under "stupidest wrestling gear ever."
These are the men and women who truly have it tough. Spare a thought for these 15 professional wrestlers who have had to deal with wrestling in the most impractical gear possible.
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What's with professional wrestling bookers in the 80s and 90s putting all their fat guys in one-pieces? Furthermore, a brown one-piece and the most awkward-looking bull hat-jacket-thing known to mankind. While the legendary Mantaur was lucky enough to remove that atrocity from his head on most occasions, the cases where he wrestled with it on are enough to make some scratch their heads and others completely give up on professional wrestling.
14. The Boogeyman
Look, the whole worm-eating situation was bad enough without having to look at the eyesore that was The Boogeyman's wrestling attire, but can you imagine trying to perform in that mess? Aside from the serious chafe risk that comes with wearing leather pants, those weird, brown, stringy thingies tied all over his body are just unnecessary. The guy already digests worms and beats himself over the head with a clock, give the dude a break.
13 Doink the Clown
Not only is wrestling in a clown costume an unnecessary eyesore, the whole idea of having to constantly monitor your wig and mask situation on top of the obvious risks that come with wearing lyrca for a living brings just seems like a terrible time. That's probably why eight different wrestlers have used the character at various times, and who could blame them for ditching the gig?
12 The Mean Street Posse
Pete Gas, Rodney and Joey Abs, The Mean Street Posse aka the lords of the sweater vest. When you think of how hot it gets under the bright lights in the squared circle, sweater vests and dress pants are terrible choices for wrestling outfits. In fact, sweater vests and dress pants are terrible choices at all times unless you're a Colombian drug pusher.
11 Dean Ambrose
We've seen guys wrestle in jeans before, but Dean Ambrose wrestling in skinny jeans while also being a relatively athletic wrestler is just plain impractical. Sure, the waistband may be elastic, but anyone who has ever had to do the skinny jeans pants dance knows that moving freely and doing other important things, like being able to breathe, can be difficult even with an elastic waistband. No wonder they call him a lunatic.
10 Hillbilly Jim
If you thought wearing skinny jeans was hard enough, try having your body draped in denim. After all, what’s a blatant hillbilly gimmick without overalls? Not only were Hillbilly Jim's completely uncreative overalls dull and predictable (hello, 1980s professional wrestling), think of the severe pummeling the poor man's nipples would have endured. Denim on sensitive skin is a no-no.
9 Nia Jax
Wrestling with a bigger frame in the current world of the preferred and more attractive fast-paced style is hard enough, but doing so while dressed as a Saiyan from Dragon Ball Z is just plain difficult. While the likes of Goku and Vegeta had no problem manoeuvring in their home planet's customary clothing, Nia Jax's home of San Diego, California isn't Planet Vegeta last time I checked.
8 Roman Reigns
While it might not come off as impractical at first, Roman Reigns' completely mind-boggling bulletproof vest severely limits his upper body movement. Taking away the impractical side of it, why in the world does Reigns need a bulletproof vest exactly? Is WWE slowly building up to some kind of Pillman's Got A Gun-esque storyline? Furthermore, why is it that when Reigns gets punched or kicked in the gut, he feels it just as any other non-bulletproof-vest-wearing wrestler would? Kayfabe, you so inconsistent.
7 Bastion Booger
Every possible thing about Bastion Booger was terrible, so it's no surprise that his ring gear was horribly impractical as well. Looking like a version of "Double J" Jeff Jarrett that had let himself go significantly, Mr Booger’s silver sparkly onesy at least allowed him to tuck his massive gut into his trunks, so that's a positive; the only positive about anything Bastion Booger related.
6 Tyler Breeze
Sequins and faux fur and boot tassels, oh my! While Tyler Breeze at least removes the fur vests and disposes of the fluffy selfie stick before entering the ring, those boot tassels are sure to cause some awkward problems. If only WWE would air one of the many times Breeze has had a boots-related botch. In the words of Elsa Schiaparelli, "In difficult times, fashion is always outrageous."
5 The Gobbledy Gooker
Have you ever tried to wrestle in a turkey outfit? Enough said. Talented wrestler Hector Guerrero, brother of the late Eddie Guerrero, was hired by WWE to debut in an egg and perform in a turkey suit – yay WWE. Although the original suit was never used in a sanctioned match and was hopefully dumped off a pier to never be seen again, Guerrero returned to don a revised turkey outfit in the WrestleMania X-Seven gimmick battle royal to nobody’s delight.
4 The Shockmaster
What's a good countdown without an appearance by The Shockmaster? Completely disregarding the horrible train wreck that was The Shockmaster's debut, just look at the attire Fred Ottman wore. Not only was the purplish Stormtrooper helmet, which was covered in glitter, clearly not suitable for a wrestling match, what in the hell was the black, puffy vest for? While The Shockmaster went on to perform in the promoted match, it was in a plain white shirt, jeans and a white construction helmet, an equally impractical outfit.
3 Big Daddy V
Any woman with a sizeable chest will be able to tell you that they need some kind of support when engaging in significant physical activity or you're in for some pain. Clearly WWE didn't care much for Viscera when he was repackaged as Big Daddy V, who was only provided with suspenders for breast support. But hey, at least his tights would have never fallen down, which is a significant plus.
Not only is a thong loincloth unsightly on just about anyone who decides to wear one, it's probably not the most comfortable thing to wear when you're running and being tossed around. Combine that with the fact it's a 425-pound man doing so, who also enjoys rubbing what is basically his bare buttocks in his opponent's faces, and you're in for an all-round bad time.
1 Every Bra and Panties Match Outfit Ever
Lingerie was designed for intimate moments and not to withstand the clawing, slapping and pulling of hair that all female competitors in the Attitude Era were limited to. When you consider most lingerie either resembles a doily or some dental floss, it's safe to say competing in a match where the sole aim is to expose your opponent's undergarments probably isn't the most practical thing ever. Oh WWE, you and your late-90s-early-00s casual sexism.
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