When you put a bunch of testosterone fuelled guys in small spaces, for extended periods of time, strange things are going to happen. Sometimes those things are funny and memorable. Sometimes they are downright raunchy and despicable and in some cases, you just wish you had never heard about them. They would make a nun blush and a priest cringe. They can be everything you would have come to expect out of say, Animal House…only amplified to ridiculous heights.
Some tales will make you go pale. Some will make you want to hurl. Some might even involve vomit, or other bodily excrement. Suffice it to say, some of these wrestlers can have a sadistic sense of humor. It’s a game of one-upmanship, with guys always trying to out-do the others. Some of this is really disgusting child’s play, boys being boys just trying to have a good time. Some of this is really nasty and gross, with the boys in the back trying to send a message or prove a point or just completely mess with someone’s head because he’s new, or because they don’t like him, or just because. In that sense, a wrestling locker room is very much like a college dorm, filled with 18 to 21 year old guys. Except that a professional wrestling locker room, while it might have some 18 to 21 year old guys, is usually filled with men two and three times those ages. That makes you think, doesn’t it?
If you had any doubt as to how frequent the shenanigans are, consider this: once the WWE Network went live, it did not take long for WWE to push original content. And one of those shows is Swerved, which of course highlights WWE Superstars playing all sorts of pranks on one another. Well, those are tame pranks. Those can be show on television, Network or not. What is about to unfold here? Trust me, none of these will ever be seen on the WWE Network.
15 15. Sunny Was Allegedly Passed Around For Drugs
This could either be considered raunchy, or perhaps just sad. I actually tend to lean toward sad, considering what a destructive spiral the beautiful Sunny had set out on. Her and long time beau Chris Candido were quite the couple in the ring, and seemed to have a bright future within the business. But outside the ring, on the road, these two battled some serious demons. So bad was their addiction that Chris would effectively pimp her out in order to score the duo some drugs. There are several stories about this: from the time she allegedly pleased Sabu in an ECW locker room in exchange for drugs, to the time she spent some alone time with Ahmed Johnson to “earn” some drugs for her and Chris, but while on her way back to Chris she got a better offer to spend the night at the Heartbreak Hotel.
14 14. The Godwinns' Slop Bucket Was Sometimes Filled With Actual Slop... And Worse
Here was a tag team that had everything going for them. OK, not everything, but almost everything. Big guys, strong, talented. Crappy gimmick though. The one upside to it? If you want to call it that… Their opponents, upon being defeated, usually could find themselves getting hit with whatever happened to be in their slop bucket. Well, this little story goes that while at times the bucket was filled with some rather boring, harmless stuff, there were times where the bucket happened to contain some really nasty stuff. Think bodily fluids. Excrement. All sorts of things that, once you get rid of them from your body, should really never be introduced to it again. I could have easily made this one number one, just because of how disgusting it was to read it.
13 13. Harlem Heat Used To Never Wash Their Trunks
This one will make you want to hold your nose, or your breath. Perhaps both. The story goes that, the guys who used to wrestle against this great tag team, they used to notice a rather funky, pungent stench coming from the duo. Turns out, it was their tights. And not for a nice reason like you’d necessarily expect, such as being superstitious. Nope, it wasn’t that at all. Turns out, when they travelled, for a good bit they only brought the one pair of tights, and they weren’t fond of taking the time to wash them. Put it another way, they were disgustingly lazy. Thankfully for them (and their opponents), this was when Sister Sherri came to them as a manager. And she then started to do their laundry, too.
12 12. Mr. Perfect Pooped His Pants Under The Ring
Ok, fine. Technically, this one wasn’t backstage, but rather… under it. This goes back to when Hennig was in World Championship Wrestling, working as part of the New World Order, when many times they had a guy, or several, hanging out under the ring for run-ins. As the story goes, Hennig was in that unenviable position one evening, and the need to defecate hit him. It hit him hard. So hard, he did not have any chance of making it from under the ring to any proper location for relief, so said relief happened right there, under the ring. And anyone within close proximity had to endure the disgusting and pervasive odor, which while it did not directly influence the outcomes of any matches, made some matches harder work than the wrestlers would have liked.
11 11. Raven and Saturn, Slip n’ Slide, And Escorts
Need I say more? Yes, I suppose I do. These two go back to the old Extreme Championship Wrestling days (back before World Wrestling Entertainment bought it and ruined it). I’ve heard stories that something along these lines happened when both men worked for Heyman, too, and it certainly sounds like it would be plausible. But, in this case, the tale that I’ve heard most about happened in a hotel in Florida. They laid a Slip n’ Slide down in the hallway of a dumpy motel. At the end of the slide were their hired dates for the evening, and sliding down toward those poor women? Use your imagination. As crazy as this one might sound, those two guys (as well as many others from ECW) were known to be kind of crazy outside the ring, so it’s not actually that surprising after all.
10 10. The Kliq Took A Dump In The King’s Crown
Wrestlers, these guys can be a sick and twisted bunch. For this one, we go back to when The Kliq was pretty much running the entire show, calling all the shots. They wielded tremendous power, probably too much all things considered. Now, I can’t recall exactly what put them at odds with Jerry “The King” Lawler’s returning presence, but something inspired the younger generation’s top stars to take a rather disgusting level of effort to knock The King down a peg, or two. A deuce, if you will, is rather appropriate in this instance, as the story goes that the group collectively left a big, heaping, steaming pile of human excrement in Lawler’s favorite crown. As funny as they surely thought it was, I can’t for the life of me imagine what it was that Lawler did to warrant that.
9 9. Lita Slept Her Way Through Almost Every Locker Room
Yes, our lovely and popular, World Wrestling Entertainment Hall of Famer, was willing to do anything and everything to make it in this business. That is not an uncommon theme amongst the Legends, it would seem. But as far as Lita was concerned, that whole idea of doing anything and everything took on a whole new meaning. Specifically, while she was training and learning the business in Mexico (and elsewhere), she just so happened to have a unique method of rendering payment to her trainers. Supposedly, she was willing to offer up her body to pay for her training. And apparently was a fan of the golden shower too, though whether that was just because it was a form of payment, or because she just liked it, remains, and forever shall remain, a mystery.
8 8. Sid And His Squirrel
This could actually go down as more of a bizarre and crazy story, if it weren’t for where the squirrel went. As I understand it (and I am not exactly sure that I really do understand it), for whatever reason, Sid Vicious had a habit of bringing a squirrel with him on the road. Odd choice for a road companion, I suppose, but to each his own. Where things got worse, and why this one landed on this specific list, is because someone cooked up the idea of convincing Sid to shove said squirrel down his shorts. I am not sure why anyone would do that (the dare, or the actual shoving down shorts). And, it ended very badly, as could have easily been predicted. That is, while the squirrel was up close and personal with some nuts he had no interest in, the squirrel warmed up and took a bite out of Sid.
7 7. Scott Hall (And Others) Dumped In Sunny’s Bags
Are you detecting a theme here? Call it deuces wild, I suppose. Hall, also a member of The Kliq, who had a role in the eleventh item on this list, also used his posterior to land at number ten as well. There are several theories as to what could have prompted Hall to do this (if, in fact, he actually did, because as it stands right now, it’s just a very…steamy story). But the one that makes the most rounds is that this was just another way for the guys in the back to dump on Sunny. They took advantage of her addictions, and it was just another (extremely disgusting) way for them to have fun at her expense. Just another chapter in Sunny’s sad story.
6 6. JBL and His Shower Antics With New Wrestlers
Honestly, while it “only” landed at number six, this one kind of surprised me. Of all the raunchy and crazy tales that I uncovered -some which did not make the list- this one was one I did not expect (both what it was, and who was involved). But, supposedly, either as hazing or initiation or just because, JBL had taken an interest to rather liberally soaping up some of the new guys while they were in the shower. The tamer versions make it sound like that was about as bad as the touching got - that he made them think more was coming. The more risqué versions either have him slipping a digit up their nether regions, or otherwise making them expect to be assaulted. Either way, clean as the soap might have been, this was some sick fun for Bradshaw.
5 5. Lawler Likes Feet
I’ve actually seen this story for several different guys over the years, but Jerry Lawler was the one it was said about most frequently. That either means it’s really true, or it’s just the most popular story making rounds-I haven’t decided which, but this sort of thing just strikes me as being up Jerry’s alley. That being said, as the tale unfolds, someone was walking around the backstage area in one of the locker rooms, and they unfortunately walked in on Lawler, with a female Superstar’s footwear in hand, touching himself. Now, I get the whole foot fetish. I do. But I don’t know that I get it when it specifically boils down to using the actual shoes… but to each his own, I suppose. Even with the self gratification, this is still less grotesque than several other entries.
4 4. HBK Relieved Himself In Divas' Bags When They Declined His Advances
This is a story from the old Shawn Michaels. Before he was born again, before he found God all over again. Yes, the younger Michaels thought he was hot stuff (no, not Eddie Gilbert), and he used to hit on the Divas incessantly. As the story continues to unfold, if those Divas were silly enough to rebuff his advances, he would, as a manner of revenge, relieve himself on and in their bags. Now, I don’t know what the veracity of this one really is, because I don’t know if it was a one or two time thing, or a regular occurrence. But knowing how much of a punk the early HBK could be, it’s not exactly hard to imagine.
3 3. Raven Got Caught With An Underage Ring Rat
This one, to some, was the epitome of Extreme. Back in the day, when the promotion was running shows out of Philly, some fans were always around. Groupies can be fun, except that for the most part, the guys were often a bit under the influence, and not always making the best decisions. In this instance, Raven was smashed and wound up passing out in a room. As things have been said, what happens next is that he was woken up (by police) next to a naked Becky Bayless, who at the time wasn’t even close to the legal age. Whether or not Raven actually did anything with Bayless isn’t on trial, but the mere fact that a top ECW star was in such a state that he could wind up naked with a minor? Yikes.
2 2. Pat Patterson’s Boys
It’s a sex scandal. It was covered up. To some it’s raunchy, and to others it’s no big deal. Pat Patterson, the first ever Intercontinental Champion, was effectively out to his peers many years ago, though he didn’t publicly declare that until Legends House aired on the WWE Network. That in and of itself isn’t bad. I mean, you can like whomever you like, it doesn’t mean you are raunchy. But, over the years, stories have come up about Pat exchanging sex for favors, or keeping (or pushing) certain guys based upon their looks or willingness to commit to the process in order to get pushed. Look, I really don’t care who did (or did not) sleep with Patterson or anyone else for that matter. What I do know is there have been a fair amount of tales to go around.
1 1. Rock n’ Roll Express Walk In On Jimmy Valiant And A Working Girl
This one is number one, but ought to have been number two. You’ll see what I mean in a minute. I drop this one here, in honor of the Express getting into the WWE Hall of Fame this year. This story is a rather raunchy one, if I do say so myself. Why? As the story goes, Robert and Ricky walked in on Jimmy Valiant and a hooker. Nothing wrong with that, right? Well, maybe not, except that in this case, Valiant was laying under a glass table, and the hooker was on top. Squatting. And defecating. One of the guys got sick seeing it, while the other apparently wasn’t bothered and wanted to see more. One thing’s for certain: wrestlers are some sick puppies!
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