Life was once so simple, so pure, so enjoyable. The grass was a vibrant green and the sky was a piercing blue. The invisible man in the clouds known as “God” seemed to take care of every little creature on the planet and at night, falling asleep was quick and easy … then you grew up and everything changed.
Simplicity no longer exists as complication rules your world. The grass is dead and the sky is in constant overcast. “ God” is gone and now you're an existential mess, navigating through the absurdity of being alive. The heavy bags and bloodshot bulbs are distinctly visible as scatterbrain insomnia comes back to visit each and every night.
You begin to notice the little gray hairs peeking through or the thinning hairline that recedes more and more each day. Your stomach is soft, your knees are no longer as sturdy, and your back aches at the end of any psychical task. You are growing older and there is nothing you can do about the inevitable change and final destination.
The bars which you once frequented as the conniving Casanova patron have been taken over by a younger generation. The women you once desired have faded into obscurity as the next-gen females seem foreign to you and your aging body. No longer do you search the scene, you now sit on a lonely bar stool and drink yourself into a stupor; awaiting last call and the 3:00am fast food purge that will only reemerge in your toilet bowl.
“DRINK. EAT. VOMIT. SLEEP. REPEAT.”
This brings us to your wrestling habit and your inability to remove yourself from that world despite your age, status, or situation in life. Why are you still watching wrestling at your age? Well, there are a number of different reasons; which we will explore moving forward.
These are the top 15 reasons grown men can't get over professional wrestling:
15 The Anger of Others
Fans of WWE will know all too well how the product can have its ups and downs. Often falling into a slump and growing stale for a substantial amount of time. This could lead to a brief break with the company but not always.
14 An Alternative to What's "In"
The Attitude Era is over (Yes, it is hard to admit). Professional wrestling hasn't been considered "cool" since that time and will probably never reach that level of coolness ever again ... but it remains an alternative to what is considered "cool."
13 It's Comforting
Michael Cole catches a lot of heat from fans but face it: you have grown used to the voice. Monday morning may have been rough but come Monday night, that old Michael Cole voice provides a feeling of comfort.
12 Wrestling Fans Don't Care
The strangest group of professional wrestling fans you can find are usually the grown men who are attending shows. This is not a bad type of strange bur rather a strange that is embraced by those within the wrestling community.
11 Better Than Other Programs
Flip through your channels and what will you find? A bunch of inbred reality television stars, the same tired sitcom concepts, and overplayed cop drama. Then you find yourself searching around Netflix for something better which you think you find by lack of strong comparison.
10 The Stereotype Entry
"It's still real to me, dammit!" ... This is a necessary entry as the stereotypical wrestling fan actual does exist. Mostly all grown male wrestling fans know full and well that the show is scripted and results are predetermined.
9 It's Still Entertaining
You may not watch with you mouth agape anymore. You may predict outcomes and storyline twists long before they happen. You may jeer at certain performers regardless of the situation but you're still sitting there watching ... and why is that?
8 It Can Be Addicting
While professional wrestling is not a vicious street drug, it can prove to be addicting. The habit for many has been running strong for many years with no signs of kicking professional wrestling and moving on to something else.
7 Escape From Reality
Life can be boring, bogus, and outright brutal. The daily grind seems never-ending and the ability to maintain interest in petty things becomes increasingly difficult as you grown increasingly frustrated with your surroundings.
6 Violence is Violence
Men are the brute beings that roam the Earth in search of food and mate. Men are hostile and haggard and love a good fight. Violence makes a man feels warm and fuzzy inside, almost like love but less intense and more involved.
5 The Nostalgia Aspect
There are those who believe that the "past is the past" and things that once were should not be dug up and recreated simply for the nostalgia that comes along. In professional wrestling, nostalgia is constant... especially now with the WWE Network.
4 Children at Heart
Can you recall your earliest professional wrestling memory? It may involve Hulk Hogan, Bret Hart, or Shawn Michaels and it is probably the catalyst of your professional wrestling affair/addiction/affliction.
3 Cinderella in Wrestling Boots
It's no secret that attractive women capture the attention of men. In professional wrestling, attractive women are a-plenty. They're the girls you would love to meet in real life: beautiful, athletic, women, who actually like wrestling.
2 Vicarious Living
Admit it: you have lived vicariously through a professional wrestler at some point. Perhaps it was Ric Flair and you saw yourself flying in a private jet, wearing an expensive suit, and hanging out with a gorgeous woman.
1 Sharing it with Someone Special Someday
All right, let's conclude this list with a nice sentiment (not my usual style but let's change it up today). Why can't grown men get over professional wrestler? Because their fathers and grandfathers couldn't get over professional wrestling.
One day down the road - or perhaps right now - you may have a son who looks at you with those same hopeful and heartfelt eyes that you once had as the two of you share a moment and bond over professional wrestling.
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