Ever since Linda McMahon’s repeated failures to get elected to the U.S. Senate, WWE has persisted under a family friendly “PG” mandate to keep its image sparkly, pristine clean. For some fans - principally children who can’t watch anything their parents deem inappropriate - that’s been just swell. But older fans with fond memories of Stone Cold Steve Austin flipping off opponents and The Rock threatening to turn various objects sideways and forcibly insert them into opponents’ rectums, the PG era has proven to be a bit of a drag.
Anyone who sat through Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice knows all too well that “darker,” “grittier” and “more realistic” certainly doesn’t always mean “better.” So don’t get us wrong - we’re not suggesting WWE load up its programming with graphic violence and nudity simply for shock value or to satiate a minority of the audience. But the restrictions have started to interfere with the growth and modernization of the product. Plus, Linda McMahon’s political career is over and fans’ collective trauma from the Chris Benoit murder/suicide has dulled somewhat.
So here’s a collection of practical (or practical-ish) reasons to lift the PG-restrictions of WWE content...and why maaaaaybe pushing Monday Night Raw in a PG-13 direction could be the best way to go. In fairness, we’ll consider putting together a list of reasons why WWE absolutely should not switch over to an NC-17 format. To give readers a sample of that list, it'll include: 1: Simulated Murder Would Be Bad For The Business 2: Braun Strowman Should Always Wear Pants. And 3: Game of Thrones Already Did A Better Incest Story Line Than Shane and Stephanie McMahon could ever pull off.
16 There’s Already Too Much Entertainment For Children
15 “Attitude Adjustment” Is A Terrible Name For A Finisher
14 If It Wasn’t For PG-Restrictions, Chyna Might Already Be In The Hall Of Fame
Rumors speculated that although it's heartbreaking this didn't happen while she was alive, Chyna’s odds of finally getting her overdue Hall of Fame nod have increased following her tragic demise. WWE doesn’t have to worry about her burying the company or showing up intoxicated to her induction speech anymore. Plus, failing to induct Chyna in 2017 could inspire riots.
13 Paige Wouldn’t Get In Trouble For Swearing Anymore
12 Competing with UFC Would Be Easier
11 Bray Wyatt Could Talk About Why He’s Better Than Jesus
10 Samoa Joe vs. Finn Balor
9 The Writing Staff Could Use The Crutch
8 The Announcers Don’t Have To Dance Around Godfather
7 Opportunity to Start a New “Era”
6 Dean Ambrose Could Get Away With Being A Lot Crazier
5 Better Potential Celebrity Guests
4 The Dudleys Are Worthless In A PG Environment
3 They Could Sell "Suplex City, Bi***!" T-shirts
2 The Lessons Learned from Roman Reigns
In theory, for the last two years, Roman Reigns has been getting booed by smarky adult male fans who resent the idea that he was shoved down their throats. Also in theory, Reigns has been embraced by women and children, as was the case when a vocal faction of the audience turned on John Cena during his initial World Title push. To this day, “Cena Sucks!” chants echo the “Let’s Go Cena!” encouragement the WWE standard bearer often attracts.
But where are the “Let’s Go Roman!” chants to counterbalance all the boos? Do the women and children who cheer for John Cena no longer exist? Or is it more likely they’ve simply joined forces with the smarks, or become smarks themselves, and also don’t appreciate being told who to cheer for against their own predilections?
1 Even John Cena Wants More Blood
Who’s the biggest beneficiary of the PG era? Who’s the guy whose wholesome Captain America aura has made him a millionaire several times over? Out of everybody, who’s the one guy who absolutely should want WWE to stay PG forever? Well, that would be John Cena, and even he’s sick of not being able to say “crap” on TV, according to his interview with Rolling Stone. The good news is it’s possible that Cena wouldn’t be telling Rolling Stone he really feels this way, unless gears have already been set in in motion to create a new WWE, in which John Cena can say “crappy” “crap face” “craptacular” and similar phrases any ol' time he wants to.
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