Professional wrestling may be one of the great American forms of entertainment (even though it was more-or-less invented in France), capable of telling many types of stories. But, for the most part, nobody has figured out how to tell an effective wrestling love story.
Most of the time, when a pair of wrestlers hook up in a storyline, the scenario’s played up for laughs, an awkward attempt to utilize a real world situation or dumb soap opera tropes. The closest WWE’s ever come to an authentic, earnest romance tale was “The Macho Man” Randy Savage wedding Miss Elizabeth - and even then, their ceremony was ruined when Jake Roberts attacked.
The most recent instance that pops to mind - the love square between Rusev, Lana, Dolph Ziggler, and Summer Rae - was sort of the worst of the previously mentioned three worlds. Rumor has it WWE creative got mad at Lana for announcing her engagement to Rusev - her in-character ex and enemy at the time - on social media. Maybe that wasn’t the most tactful move in the world, but nonetheless, the writers should’ve thanked Lana for ruining an angle that had already dragged on for too long and never quite started resonating.
Could WWE ever pull off a love story that wasn’t a joke or a farce? Hard to say. But in the past, pretty much every onscreen couple or fling in mainstream wrestling has been abnormal, in one aspect or another. This is such a sampling - in no particular order - of some of the quirkiest we could think of.
19 Stephanie McMahon and Test
18 Kane and Tori
17 Kane and Lita
16 Edge and Lita
15 Vickie Guerrero and Edge
14 Rusev and Lana/Summer Rae
13 AJ Lee and John Cena
12 The Blue Meanie and Jasmine St. Claire
11 Raven and Kimona Wanalaya
10 Bully Ray and Brooke Hogan
9 Trish Stratus and Jeff Hardy
8 Saturn and Terri Runnels
7 Daffney and David Flair
6 Mark Henry and Mae Young
5 Chyna and Eddie Guerrero
4 Harvey Wippleman and Bertha Faye
3 Dawn Marie and Al Wilson
2 Vince McMahon and Trish Stratus
1 Triple H and Stephanie McMahon
Backstage might’ve been a different story, but in kayfabe, DX kidnapped The Billion Dollar Princess, drugged her, then forced her to marry Triple H while unconscious at a Las Vegas Drive-Thru Chapel. There is no plausible way such a union would be legal in the real world. In fact, the dawn of the McMahon/Helmsley relationship marks the first of many felonies Triple H has committed on television during his WWE career. Probably, he should go to jail.
Later, it was revealed that Steph herself masterminded the entire ruse to get revenge on her dad for letting The Undertaker traumatize her during his Ministry of Darkness campaign, which hardly makes the Trips/Steph onscreen union feel any less bizarre.
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