Let's get this out of the way: Vince McMahon is a maniac. You might be wondering if we're talking about the fictional on-screen character or the real-life human being and the answer is yes. But for the purposes of this list, we're going to be only focusing on ones that were said on WWE television.
Whether they be funny, intimidating or cool, these quotes will make you go "that's so Vince" every time you hear them. So let's dig into the ten best quotes of Vince McMahon's career.
10 "I'm Your Genetic Jackhammer!"
Never one for privacy or subtlety, one can always describe Vince McMahon has the subtlety of a jackhammer. If you don't believe us, then just ask Vince himself.
Said to his wife Linda when he believed that she wanted to bear another of his children in the summer of 2000, McMahon uttered this gem that has gone on to become one of his most spoofed lines. Little did we know Vince did have another child years later ago in storyline... that being Hornswoggle.
9 "I Must Slaughter The Infidel!"
While Vince McMahon may have been at his peak insanity in 2006, 2003 was easily the year where he was at his most evil. Not only did he face his own daughter in an I Quit match at No Mercy, but he also had an ugly rivalry with The Undertaker where he threatened to have The Deadman's wife sexually assaulted and his children kidnapped. Yea, that evil.
But this backfired big time on McMahon when Taker earned the right to face McMahon in a Buried Alive match at Survivor Series 2003.
8 "I'm Going To Kill My Creation!"
Early 2002 was not the best time to be Vince McMahon on WWE TV. Ric Flair is your business partner who is slowly taking more and more control over your greatest love; your company. So naturally, you cut a long and intense promo claiming that you're going to kill your creation.
McMahon wanted to inject a lethal dose of poison into his creation to kill it before Ric Flair could and his answer was of course, to bring in the nWo. Unfortunately for Vince's plans, the nWo in the WWE fizzled out like a bad fart and did nothing major of note.
7 "Bret Screwed Bret"
The quote that gave birth to the Mr.McMahon character we all know and love to hate, this gem was dropped the night after Survivor Series 1997 where Vince McMahon thought he would be a huge babyface if he said this according to Jim Cornette in his 1997 WWE Timeline DVD with Kayfabe Commentaries. How fortunate for him that he was wrong.
While the quote is obviously false in reality, it is still one of his best quotes since it was responsible for WWE's greatest heel performer ever.
6 "Come On God Let's Get Jiggy With It!"
By far the most insane match in WWE history has to be from Backlash 2006 featuring Vince and Shane McMahon vs Shawn Michaels and... God. Yes, as in the God of religious fame.
If you think this is insane, it's only because it is. Credit to McMahon though as "God" made his way down the ramp via a beam of light, McMahon commanded him to add some flair to his entrance and hit some funky dance music to encourage him. Could you imagine if God was a WWE announcer and had to hear McMahon's instructions via the headset? Judgment Day might actually come if that happened.
5 "Life Sucks! And Then You Die!"
Vince McMahon is far and away the most successful wrestling promoter of all time. Life has been great to him and he's never had to worry about money ever since the late 90s. For the rest of us average joes, that's not so much the case.
In one of McMahon's greatest promos ever, he delivered a great monologue about how we were all disgusting maggots who complained about life being unfair when McMahon hit us with a fact that feels all too true sometimes: "Life sucks! And then you die!"
Thanks for the motivation Vinnie Mac.
4 "I Don't Give A Damn What These People Want!"
Vince McMahon is known to often book things on screen that aren't necessarily designed to draw money or put the company in a good light as much as just get him off for a good laugh. But this bit of truth slipped through the cracks in a promo during the classic Summer of Punk in 2011.
When confronted by Punk for some baffling decisions he made over the years, McMahon countered back by saying he didn't care what fans wanted. While obviously he said this as the Vince McMahon character, you always have to wonder how much truth there is to that statement.
3 "1,2 HE GOT HIM No He Didn't"
Younger fans may not know this, but back in the 1990s Vince McMahon wasn't the on-screen villain we know him as now. In fact, he was just one of several announcers on WWE programming. He had several classic lines like "INTO THE BUCKLE!" and his girlish scream during Shawn Michaels' WrestleMania 12 entrance but this is the best catchphrase in our opinion.
Every time without fail when a wrestler would go for a pin, McMahon would think that the match was over... only to most of the time be proven wrong. You would think somebody who books this stuff would have better foresight. What a mark.
2 "I've Got The Brass To Fire Your Ass"
The amount of money that we would pay for Vince McMahon to drop a rap album a la Randy Savage is infinite. Think he would be awful? Probably, but McMahon can drop a rhyme every now and then as evidenced here.
When speaking about the famous Austin 3:16 catchphrase McMahon retorted back with this killer line of his own. The smugness that this was delivered with ensured its legacy for years to come.
1 "You're Fired!"
What else could it be but this one? Spoken to several performers throughout the years from Eric Bischoff to John Laurinaitis to Kurt Angle, you knew that the Chairman meant business when his visage scowled and twisted to shout this gem.
While Vince's buddy Donald Trump on The Apprentice would normally deliver it in a cold and calm manner, McMahon went the other way and bellowed it as loud and aggressively as possible. The sheer intensity of the line makes it one his best ever.