Vintage Bad PPV Review: WCW Halloween Havoc 1995

1995 is arguably the worst year in wrestling history. Like your awkward teenage years transitioning from pimple-faced weirdo into the smooth-faced weirdo you are today, 1995 was the dying gasp of the cartoon era, before the nWo and Attitude Era came to play.

WCW had been giving itself a huge push since 1994, buying up aging ex-WWE talent and recently beginning its live Nitro show to compete with RAW. But they were still almost a year away from the Outsiders storyline, and still fully embracing the worn-out trope of Hogan vs. Monster heels. WCW was so insane, they would actually have literal monsters, like The Loch Ness, a Shark man, and a friggin' Leprechaun.

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This show also showcased Eric Bischoff's brand of screwy booking. He had zero grasp of how to please an audience. Any shred of enjoyment the crowd might have scrounged from this show was constantly derailed by over-complicated, meaningless swerves.

To give some historical context, The Giant (son of Andre) was wreaking 'havoc' in the WCW, choke slamming everybody and setting his sights on destroying Hulkamania (destroying what the steroid police left behind). To deal with this threat, Hogan began a slow transformation to the dark side, evidenced by his black clothing, and......a SHAVED FACE!

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The big blowoff to this nonsense would be Paul Wight's first real match (terrible idea) in the ring AND a monster truck sumo match (somehow worse) on top of a roof.

Happy Halloween 1995 wrestling fans. There's nothing scarier than this crap.

Johnny B. Badd def. Diamond Dallas Page

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WCW may have beaten WWE in the ratings for a time, but they could never match the production, and especially the music. Both of them come out to bland, generic rock filled with wanky hair-metal solos. The theme music was always too quiet in the mix, often sounding like just the ring microphones were picking it up. It set the tone perfectly for a boring night to come.

Marc Mero had transitioned from his earlier look

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to something slightly more masculine.

With this new look came new tricks. Badd sent a doppleganger of himself through the curtain to distract Page while the real Badd came through the crowd for an underhanded sneak attack. This is a clever idea...for a heel. Unfortunately, Badd is booked as the face trying to realize his dreams of winning the Television Title...again, so it does little do gain sympathy from the crowd.

Badd, in an attempt to show how serious he'd become since dressing like Little Richard, puts a bucket on Page's head. The Detroit crowd is desperate for something to cheer for so they pop for the bucket like my fat Uncle Larry pops for a bucket of KFC.

Heenan and Schiavone are on commentary and although they start off fine, a noticeable air of tension develops between them. Schiavone keeps ripping off Gorilla Monsoon's famous "will you stop!" but delivers it with the energy of my fat Uncle Larry having his post-chicken nap. Which is hard to believe considering the Schiv is normally screaming about everything he sees being the greatest moment in wrestling history!

Watching these poor guys try to "fly" across the ring is so painful due to WCW's restrictive ring size and tight ropes. It's just another example of how Vince McMahon always nailed the important details while WCW looked and felt second-rate.

Page's male valet Max Muscle starts his own "D-D-P" chant and it's absolutely hilarious.

This match is dragging badly and sees Page kill the face momentum five different times. At 17 minutes, it's one of the longest TV Title PPV matches ever. Yet they couldn't give Macho Man more than five minutes... That's talent management right there.

Page goes for the heel finish by taking out string and wrapping it around Badd's throat, trying to actually kill him (a theme we'll revisit later). But it seems like death can't kill Badd as he raises his hand on 2 1/2 for a wannabe Hulk/Warrior comeback.

Badd actually uses a few semi-acrobatic luchadore moves that look almost as clumsy s Cena's Frankensteiner. This is when Page's Wife swerves her mean hubby by lifting her "10" judging card for Badd and his 2/10 moves. Schiavone actually utters the phrase ”that's a moment to remember in WCW history, and you saw it only on Halloween Havoc."

Badd gets the win and Kimberly Page acts happy for him by looking vaguely horny and biting her lip. It's weird.

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