WWE's annual Royal Rumble match is consistently one of the best matches of the year, providing a roadmap for months to come, leading up to WrestleMania. It's a wonderful mixture of intrigue, athleticism, and good old-fashioned nostalgia. And if nothing else, it's a great chance for Kofi Kingston to show off his pancake-hopping skills!
Of course, not every superstar has what it takes to main event at The Showcase of The Immortals. Some superstars can barely get inside the ring. That's why we've decided to rank 10 of the worst Royal Rumble competitors. Keep reading to find out about the worst of the worst, according to their respective elimination times!
10 Drew Carey
Not only does Drew Carey have the best time on this list, clocking in at around two minutes and 54 seconds, but the Cleveland-based comedian is one of the few celebs to play it smart in the ring. During the 2001 Royal Rumble, Carey let his fellow competitors do the eliminating for him, walking around the ring as The Hardys duked it out and ultimately knocked each other out of the match.
It wasn't until he came face-to-face with Kane that things took a turn. After trying to make friends with Kane, going so far as to bribe him, Carey narrowly escaped a chokeslam thanks to a kendo stick-carrying Raven. Moments later, Carey decided that enough was enough, tossing himself over the top rope and marking one of the only self-eliminations in Rumble history.
9 Boris Zhukov
One half of The Bolsheviks alongside Nikolai Volkoff, Zhukov's main purpose was to eat the pin and protect Volkoff. During the inaugural Rumble match in 1988, Zhukov mixed it up with Harley Race, Jake "The Snake" Roberts and more.
Yet ultimately, Zhukov's entrance in the match was just a way to get Volkoff over. During his 153 seconds in the match, Zhukov didn't do much aside from taking a beating from everyone else in the ring while Volkoff captured the attention of the crowd. Zhukov's character served an important purpose, sure, but he got almost zero offense in during his Rumble appearance.
8 Gillberg
When push comes to shove, there's nothing wrong with serving as a jobber, especially if you're jobbing as a means to bury the competition. And boy did Vince McMahon use Gillberg to bury WCW.
After a ridiculous (and admittedly hilarious) entrance, which included sparklers, a fire extinguisher, and piped-in chants, Gillberg lasted a whopping six seconds in the ring before Edge promptly tossed him to the apron.
7 The Godfather
By 2013, WWE had a stacked roster filled with superstars like Dolph Ziggler, CM Punk, John Cena, and more. Which made The Godfather's Royal Rumble appearance that much more baffling.
From a booking standpoint, we'd guess that Godfather's inclusion was nothing more than a fun way to kill a few minutes during the middle of a 60+ minute Rumble match. And to that extent, it served its purpose well. From an in-ring standpoint, though, it didn't make much sense, as Godfather only stayed inside of the ring for about five seconds before strutting back up the runway.
6 Bushwhacker Luke
Sure, Rumble matches always have their fair share of exciting entrances. But not many superstars can say that their walk back up the ramp is more memorable than their participation in the match itself!
During the 1991 Royal Rumble, Bushwhacker Luke gave fans one of the funniest exits in Rumble history. The superstar marched to the ring, where he was promptly grabbed by John "Earthquake" Tenta and eliminated. In a move of sheer brilliance, Luke didn't miss a beat, marching to the back, combining his entrance, participation, and exit into one fluid motion.
5 Owen Hart
Even decades after his untimely passing, Owen Hart remains one of the greatest technicians the wrestling world has ever seen. Few superstars had the heart (no pun intended) or talent that Owen did.
Yet it feels like his inclusion in the 1995 Royal Rumble was pointless. On his way to the ring, Hart was attacked by his brother, Bret, which made sense from a storyline standpoint. But we can't be quite so forgiving about the three-second elimination by The British Bulldog. All in all, it felt like a wasted opportunity.
4 Mick Foley
Mick Foley is many things including an author, comedian, and hardcore legend. One thing he isn't, however, is a great Royal Rumble competitor.
For proof, look no further than his participation in the 1998 Rumble match. Foley initially entered at #1 as Cactus Jack, only to be eliminated by his friend Chainsaw Charlie (aka Terry Funk). After several minutes, Foley entered again as Mankind. Foley managed to get revenge on Funk but fell victim to Goldust moments later. A visibly exhausted Mick Foley would enter for a third and final time as Dude Love exiting shortly thereafter courtesy of Farooq and a swift kick to the groin from Stone Cold. Say what you will, but Foley gave it his all.
3 Mo
This is perhaps the only list where you'll see Mo alongside wrestling greats like Owen Hart and Sheamus. Nevertheless, Mo shares the unique honor of a three-second Rumble elimination.
Mo's exit shared a lot in common with Hart's. As soon as the superstar entered the ring, he ran headfirst at King Kong Bundy, who swiftly tossed him over the top of the rope as if swatting a fly. Before fans knew it, Mo was in the back and the Rumble continued.
2 The Warlord
Remember The Warlord? We don't blame you if you said don't. Though he had a four-year stint in WWE alongside his tag partner, The Barbarian, he wasn't quite as memorable as his partner.
The most memorable thing that The Warlord did during his WWE tenure was his appearance in the 1989 Rumble match, where he lasted an astonishing two-seconds. He was barely even in the ring before Hulk Hogan clotheslined him out of the ring. Warlord would hold the record for the fastest elimination in a Rumble matchup for two decades.
1 Santino Marella
For what it's worth, this hurts us, too. We love Santino Marella. He's one of the few instances of WWE creating a comedy performer that's actually funny, successfully stretching his gimmick out for years without it ever getting old. Yet our favorite unibrow-wearing superstar has the distinct (dis)honor of being the fastest elimination in Royal Rumble History.
If you were to blink, you might miss Santino's 2009 Rumble appearance. As soon as Santino stepped in the ring, a clothesline from Kane sent our favorite unibrowed-superstar back to the floor. In total, Santino's participation in the 2009 Rumble lasted a whopping one-second.
To add insult to injury, you can distinctly hear Jim Ross state, "I think The Warlord's record may have been broken," further salting the wound.