Just as we have come to expect over the years (decades?), Shane McMahon decided to nearly kill himself this past Sunday because that's precisely what Shane McMahon likes to do. But what made it even more shocking this time around was 1) he nearly killed himself in front of his giggling children no less, and b) we witnessed a shocking heel turn in the process, one in which we never expected to see in our wildest wrestling dreams.
Oh, and The Shield also came back together on Raw.
Here are five things WWE got right this week and five things they got wrong.
5. WRONG - The SmackDown Women's Division
The SmackDown Women's Division used to kill it each and every week, but now they're a jumbled mess. All we get are random matches that don't really mean anything and a smidge of a story. The story now is that Natalya is jealous of Charlotte because she can clearly cut a much better promo than her and can wrestle just as well as her without having to yell stupid things at her opponents during her matches like "YOU ARE PATHETIC!" and "I AM ANNOYING!" in order to get the audience to react.
5. RIGHT - Cruiserweight Championship Main Events Raw
In a surprise Championship match, Enzo Amore met Kalisto in the main event of Raw (the third time in a row that Amore has closed out the show) in his best match to date. Even more surprising, he would lose the title, but it was oh so satisfying to see the division pay tribute to the late great Eddie Guerrero and honor the Cruiserweight legacy the right way.
4. WRONG - Randy Orton Defeats Rusev. Again. And Again.
1) Why does Randy Orton need to be winning all the time?
2) Why do people still cheer for Randy Orton?
3) Where does poor Rusev go from here?
4. RIGHT - The Usos and New Day
Just like always, The Usos and The New Day had the best match on the card once again. These two teams have a collection of great match-ups, and on SmackDown, they finally called a truce, meaning that The New Day will step away from the title hunt for the foreseeable future to allow the rest of the division some spotlight in the coming months.
3. WRONG - Jinder Mahal Pins Nakamura Clean...
What's worse than watching Jinder Mahal cheat to defeat Shinsuke Nakamura? Watching him not cheat to defeat Shinsuke Nakamura. That's right. Nakamura who was once billed as the next big thing on SmackDown Live, now looks complete and utterly useless.
2. WRONG - Michael Cole Needs To Calm Down
Dear, Michael Cole.
Please stop ruining every fun and exciting moment we get on Raw. You're a 50-year-old man and you sound like a 10-year-old fangirl. Screaming and shouting "Never did I expect to see The Shield come back together! Did you, Booker? Did you Corey???" over and over, then yes, we ALL expected to see The Shield get back together because a) internet rumors and b) Rollins, Reigns, and Ambrose nodded at each other at the end of the previous Raw. OF COURSE, WE EXPECTED TO SEE THEM COME BACK TOGETHER!
3. RIGHT - The Shield
Despite Michael Cole nearly making it excruciating to listen to, The Shield reuniting was one of the best things we've seen on Raw in a while. There was a reason why they were one of the most dominating groups in WWE history, and watching them easily dismantle The Miz, Cesaro, and Sheamus, and later triple powerbomb Braun Strowman through the announce table, quickly reminded us of what these three can do when a cohesive unit.
2. RIGHT - Braun Strowman Joining Miz And Crew
At first, we didn't see how WWE was going to convince us that The Miz, Cesaro, and Sheamus were going to be able to hang with The Shield in the Tables Ladders and Chairs match at next Sunday's pay-per-view, but adding Braun Strowman to the chaos to make it a four on three match is a smart move and makes us wonder if The Shield can even win.
1. WRONG - Fin Balor Horrified of A Womanly Wyatt
So, Sister Abigail made her debut, and it wasn't the least bit cool. Sister Abigail is simply Bray Wyatt in spooky drag with a dollar store voice changer. It's lame. And the worst part about this travesty is that Fin Balor looked horrified by the ordeal, as if fighting Bray Wyatt in drag is going to be the hardest thing he's ever had to do in his career.
1. RIGHT - Sami Zayn Sides With Kevin Owens
Not many things completely shock us, but we'll admit, we did not expect Sami Zayn of all people to be the one to help Kevin Owens defeat (and nearly murder) Shane McMahon at Hell In A Cell. Now, Zayn and Owens will work side by side in taking over SmackDown Live and it's probably the best thing going for Zayn since being called up to the main roster. He tried playing the good guy only to get crapped on by his General Managers, so if Kevin Owens can get what he wants by being an a**hole, two can play at that game.
Until next week!